Last week I asked my sister to guest blog on MC. She’s actually a really great writer and her perspectives on life, marriage, love, and family are so fresh and relatable that I thought you all would appreciate them, too. Ginny and her husband, John Michael, were married last April (see posts about her wedding here, here, here, here, and here) and since then have been living in southern Virginia where he was transferred through his job. It looks like they’ll be moving again somewhere this summer, but that is all up in the air right now. What I’ve loved about watching the first year of their marriage is how much they lean on each other for support through uncertain times, but at the same time they have both stayed true to who they are as individuals. I think that’s a lesson that any married couple needs to learn and I’m so proud of them for learning it this early in their marriage.
Hello. I’m Kate’s sister, Ginny. She’s spoken about me from time to time on here so I feel as though we’re already dear friends. Or dear imaginary friends as Kate would say.
I was asked to write a guest post this week. And, as much as I love the idea of the spotlight, I hurriedly agreed. But then I sat down to write and nothing came to mind. I don’t live an extraordinary life. And I don’t do extraordinary things. And then I took a minute to appreciate the fact that Katie can write on this blog every day with entertaining and witty content about her ordinary day-to-day life. That sister of mine has talent, I tell ya. So, I thought I’d tell you a bit about my first year as a newlywed.
My lovah, John Michael, and I were betrothed last April in what I’d like to think of as the most beautiful wedding of all times. (We should go ahead and establish that I’m not modest.)
We had moved in together the year before, shortly after our engagement. John Michael’s job had just decided to relocate him to a small town nestled in the hills of the Appalachians to build a hospital for two years (he’s a general contractor). Being completely in love and willing to do anything to avoid a five hour gap in our relationship, I didn’t hesitate to move with him. In a span of exactly two weeks (the only notice we had to make the decisions!), I quit my beloved job, packed up our stuff and headed for the hills – literally.
The first year in the small town was so wonderful and so awful all at the same time. The move was wonderful because when we left Atlanta we left all these unnecessary distractions. We no longer had to feel guilty about spending a night at home together instead of out at the latest hot spot with our friends. And we really were able to concentrate on each other and grow and settle into our relationship. I love the time we’ve been able to spend together here.
The hardest part of the move however, has been finding me again. We moved here for John Michael’s job. The only people we knew in this town were John Michael’s co-workers. And John Michael was the only one contributing financially. I’d always been such an independent person in Atlanta – successful job, lots of friends – but here I was without any of those things to call my own.
But that’s the greatest thing about marriage – you’re never really alone. John Michael never once felt as if I was being selfish or unreasonable (though at times I probably was). He worked just as hard, sometimes harder, than me to carve out a life for myself. We joined a social group so I could find some friends for myself. From that wonderful group, I was able to find a job that I love. And now I’m contributing financially to our lives and I like that feeling. I even started my own company with Mary Kay so that I could always have my own business venture, no matter where we may move next.
So often in the first few years of marriage the ‘me’ gets lost in the ‘we’. And to a great extent it should. You’re no longer living for yourself, but as a couple. But, I’ve found that just because your priority is your marriage doesn’t mean that you have to neglect to find happiness for yourself.
John Michael and I have another great move coming up in the next few months. And, like our last move, we aren’t sure when or where we’ll be going next. But, because we’ve spent our first year of marriage establishing ourselves – both individually and together – I know the next adventure will be just as great…. though I’d like to request somewhere without the snow.
24Aug
This past weekend, Chris, Bean, and I drove up to our hometown for the wedding of one of my sister’s oldest, best friends. Even with everything that is going on, I wouldn’t have missed this wedding for the world. For as many friends as my sister has – and she has a boat load – no one comes close to the friendships that she has with Michelle and Evan. She’s known them since middle school and while the three of them have grown up and gone on to live very different lives, their friendship is never shaken. I’ve always loved that about them.
In fact, their friendships are so tight that somehow all three girls managed to convince three different boys to marry them within a few months of each other!
That’s Michelle (the bride) on the left, my sister in the middle, and Evan on the right.
Michelle’s wedding was beautiful. Both Ginny and Evan were bridesmaids (of course) and so they spent the day at the salon getting ready together.
This is Ginny’s hair. Isn’t that gorgeous?!?!
But as pretty as I always think my sister is, it was Michelle who really stopped the show. Which is exactly how it should be on your wedding day. Wasn’t she a beautiful bride?
What I loved most about Michelle on her wedding day was that she had two something’s borrowed. She wore the earrings that my sister wore on her wedding day…
…and she wore Evan’s veil from her wedding day.
I just thought that was the sweetest thing. And as they all came down the aisle, one right after the other, I smiled as I thought how wonderful it was that these women were still standing side by side after all these years.
Michelle lives in Australia now, where she met her husband, Max, while backpacking for a year just after college. I know my sister misses her more every day and being that far apart is really hard for them. But even that kind of distance hasn’t diminished their friendship. They Skype, they email, they send packages, and whenever there is the chance, they visit in person.
To me, that is true friendship. The kind that can withstand anything. I’m glad my sister has that in Michelle and Evan. And I’m so happy to have had a front row view of such a friendship. They are wonderful, strong women and I couldn’t be happier for them that they now get to experience their next big adventure as wives together.
I’ve been working on the first few chapters of my book as part of my book proposal and it has brought back some really fun memories from the early years of my marriage, including this story from my honeymoon!
************
Unlike our wedding day, the honeymoon seemed to last forever. We spent the entire time on the beaches of St. Maartin in the Caribbean, some days only moving when we walked out to the water for a dip. We did venture out one evening on a sunset booze cruise around the island. There were a lot of college kids partying it up on the main deck of the boat, so Chris and I went up to the second level where the boat captain was perched not far away. We struck up a conversation with him about a life as a boat captain. He said he was from Seattle, but spent his summers down in the islands giving charter cruises to honeymooners.
“What you guys really need to do,†he told us, “is have one of the locals take you to the strip beach.â€
“What’s that?†I asked.
“Its this small beach only accessible by boat. Not too many tourists know about it, so you have to find a local with a boat who can take you out there.â€
The next day as we took a lunch break from sitting on the beach, we asked our waiter who was a local boy about eighteen years old if he knew about the strip of beach the captain had mentioned. He knew right away what we were talking about and told us about a dock we could get to by taxi.
“You take a cab there and a boat will meet you,†he said in his heavy island accent.
So we left the restaurant and caught a cab to where the boy had described.
It was in the middle of nowhere. I mean, nowhere. There were sand dunes and seashells and that was about it.
Oh, and there was a little dock. A tiny, little dock that looked like it might fall into the ocean if someone stepped on it. Cautiously, Chris paid the cab driver, who laughed at the horrified looks on our faces and drove away.
LEAVING US STANDING ALONE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
“This is how stupid Americans end up on the news back home, you know,†I told Chris.
But before he could respond, we both looked out to the water as the sound of a small boat drifted up to us on the dock. Inside the boat was a little boy.
Seriously. He was, like, ten.
When he docked his boat, he didn’t even ask us where we wanted to go.
“Twenty-five dollars,†was all he said.
Chris groaned and started to complain, but I shot him one of those looks. Those looks that say, “Don’t piss off the only person who knows we are alive at the moment.â€
We carefully stepped into his boat and attempted to tell him where we wanted to go, but he had already started moving away from the dock and it was obvious that this boat had only one destination.
Fifteen minutes later, as we turned a corner into a small lagoon, I actually gasped out loud at what I saw.
There it was. A strip of beach, just like the captain had said.
It was nestled along this small island about half a mile off the coast of one of the most popular beaches on St. Maartin. This beach had no tourists on it. In fact, it didn’t have much of anything on it. There was a small little cabana with an old refrigerator, an old grill, and an even older bar tender. There were also about ten large, covered beach lounges that were available for rent at the cabana house. And that was it. No restaurant. No bathroom. No hotels. And no tourists. It was just us.
And about fifteen women.
Fifteen strikingly beautiful women.
Fifteen abnormally tall, thin strikingly beautiful women.
Fifteen naked abnormally tall, thin strikingly beautiful women.
Aw, crap…
Chris’ mouth dropped to the beach sand as he realized who our beach neighbors were.
“Th…th…those women aren’t wearing any cl…cl…clothes…†he stuttered. Like an idiot. Like an idiot who was on his honeymoon with his brand spankin’ new wife.
“Oh, really? I hadn’t noticed because my eyes were blinded by the sun bouncing off of their INCREDIBLY LARGE BOOBS.â€
As Chris and I settled into our rented beach loungers, I did anything I could think of to avoid having to take off my bathing suit cover up in front of these Amazon beauty queens WHO WERE NOW FROLICKING IN THE WATER TOGETHER.
Perfect. Just what every newlywedded woman wants to see on her honeymoon. Perfect specimens of the female sex frolicking naked in the water in front of her new husband.
Finally, I stripped down to my bikini and quickly jumped into my chair to hide under my ridiculous over-sized sunhat and over-sized sunglasses. Not that it mattered. I could have shot off flares on that island and Chris wouldn’t have even noticed. He would have continued to sit there in his beach chair, “reading his magazine.â€Â Upside down. And in French.
Typical.
After an hour of baking in the hot sun, I decided to jump in the water for a little bit. Chris and I swam out to a close sand bar and sat down, burying our feet in the sand and enjoying the cool ocean water lapping around us.
“So…do you wanna go skinny dipping?†I laughed.
“No!†he responded, completely serious.
“Oh, come on! Why not? Those women don’t care! Look at them!â€
Chris looked back in time to see one of the Amazons rise up off her beach chair and shake out her towel before laying back down on her stomach, leaving her perfectly round cheeks glowing in the sunshine.
“No,†Chris said. “Definitely not.â€
“You’re such a wimp.â€
“No, I’m not. I just don’t want to get sunburned. Can you think of anything worse than burning your…you know… on your HONEYMOON?â€
“Hmmm….†I thought for a minute. “I guess not. Better keep your pants on.â€
“That’s what I thought.â€
And I giggled at how easily Chris and I could slip between talking as husband and wife on a romantic honeymoon and talking as best friends who were concerned about sun burning their nether regions.
We stayed on the beach for the rest of the afternoon, alternating between our beach loungers and the sand bar and drinking Mai Tais. Later as the sun was just starting to lower, our tiny adolescent boat captain came puttering into the lagoon again. We jumped on-board and caught the most beautiful sunset on our way back to our tourist-filled resort where everyone wore some sort of clothing and all could be right in my world again.
The rest of our honeymoon went by like a dream. The weather was beautiful the whole trip, but on our last full day the heavens opened up and poured rain all day long. Chris and I splashed through the rain and puddles up to the small grocery store on the resort property, where we bought two six packs of Caribbean beer and a big bag of pretzels.
We spent the rest of the day in our hotel room, drinking beer, eating pretzels, and watching The Price is Right. I remember thinking as Chris yelled the price of a tube of toothpaste at the television that this is what I hoped it would be like when we were 80.
When Chris and I were married five years ago, we got traditional wedding proofs from our fabulous Pensacola photographer Barrett McClean. And, of course, we ordered a ton for ourselves and our families. But we have never had the electronic versions of the photos so I have never been able to share them with anyone (unless you count the ones we scanned in, but those are pretty crappy quality).
On our fifth anniversary last week, my mom surprised Chris and I with the perfect gift. She had tracked down our photographer and bought the rights and the digital photos from our wedding. A lot of the photos were film and we haven’t had those digitized yet, so some of them are still missing – like my bridal portraits. But I am too excited about them to wait and I thought I’d share a few with you today. All this talk about our marriage and our family and our relationship, I figure you should see where we started.
The room where the bridesmaids and I waited in the church didn’t have the air conditioning turned on for some reason, so all the girls danced to air out and keep from sweating through their dresses. It’s one of my favorite memories from that day.
My bridesmaids (left to right): Emily (my BFF), Abby (my cousin), Annie (Chris’ sister), Ginny (my sister and the Maid of Honor), and Sarah (one of my closet friends since 6th grade)
After the wedding guests had been seated, we moved over to the sanctuary and slipped into a large mirrored bathroom specifically designed to hold waiting brides. We waited here while the groomsmen and Chris came into the church. And this was where my mom and sister helped me adjust my veil before I headed down the aisle with my dad.
And before I knew it, I was walking down the aisle of my hometown church towards my hometown sweetheart.
See those big plants on stands up there? We moved those closer together for portraits before the ceremony and no one moved them back afterwards, so through the entire service, the wedding party had to peer around these giant plant stands.
See what I mean?
20-minutes later, they pronounced us husband and wife and we were off! This is my favorite picture from my wedding day. I just love how happy and hopeful we look walking out into the world together. Since my wedding, this is the picture I love from all weddings. Such happy, happy people when you walk back down the aisle together.
After the ceremony we waited around the church while formal portraits were taken. Most of those were done in film and so we don’t have those yet, but we have a few…
See that handkerchief in my hand? That was carried by my mom, my aunt, me, and my sister on our wedding days. We each have our monogram on it with our wedding date.
This one is almost a good one of the groomsmen, but they cut off Gary on the right. The groomsmen are (from left to right): Joe (one of Chris’ college roommates), Scott (another college roommate – the three of them lived together for a long time), Justin (the best man and Chris’ best friend since elementary school), Brett (one of our closet friends since high school), and Gary (another close friend since high school).
After pictures, the wedding party took a trolley over to the wedding reception. Our reception was at the Pensacola Cultural Center in the lobby and banquet room of the theater where Chris and I first started dating when we were 15 years old. We were both in a school play and we started dating during one of the rehearsals for the show. It just seemed like the perfect place to get married.
That’s my Mom and Dad being announced at the reception. Don’t they look so good?!?!
That’s the Best Man and the Maid of Honor coming in together.
That’s me and my Mom celebrating that the wedding planning is OVER!
We ran out of the reception and into our getaway car through a sea of sparklers. Those pictures are gorgeous, but they are on the film so we don’t have them yet. But I do have this one last cheesy picture taken of us as we were about to drive off. I would say that my smile is just ridiculously corny, but that is the same smile from all of my pictures when I was a little girl – just perfect, complete happiness.
When we get the film pictures digitized, I’ll do another post with all our formal portraits. But at least you can see what our wedding day looked like.
It’s been five years since then and I think I still have that corny, ridiculously happy smile on my face. Even on days when I’m upset or mad or homesick or frustrated – that smile is never far beneath the surface. I guess that’s what you get when you marry your best friend.
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