What I’ve Learned | Marriage Confessions What I’ve Learned

**Alright, folks. This is my last diaper bag post. I promise! It’s just been on my mind lately, and I had to blog it out!**

Now that Bean and Gracie are getting a little older, the needs of my diaper bag have changed. I don’t really have to carry around bottles and burp cloths and multiple changes of clothes for each kid. Now, my diaper bag is more about entertaining the kids when we are out somewhere. Actually, just this past weekend I cleaned out my diaper bag and repacked it for this new phase.

Though I don’t have to carry bottles for Gracie anymore, I still always make sure I leave the house with snacks for the kids. Not only does it keep them busy when we’re out and about, but it never fails that the one time I don’t pack a snack, both kids start whining for one. Usually, I stick with something simple that both kids can have so that I don’t have to pack multiple snacks. Goldfish are a big hit, as are graham crackers, Puffs, and apple slices. Also, I make sure that their sippy cups are full of water. (This has a picture of a bottle for Gracie, but as of this weekend she is a sippy cup only girl! Go Gracie!)

Because Gracie is still in diapers, I carry this little travel-sized diaper case with me. Inside there are two diapers, a small pack of wipes, and a small tube of diaper cream. If we’re just running out somewhere, I sometimes leave this at home because I have a very similar travel case that I keep in my car. But if we’re going somewhere all day, I toss this pack in the diaper bag. It’s really slim and light, so it doesn’t take up too much room.

A new addition to my diaper bag these days is an old formula box filled with some small, entertaining activities that I save specifically for meals out at restaurants. I just came up with this idea a couple weeks ago, so I haven’t filled it completely yet, but right now I have a brand new pack of special crayons (different than what Bean has at home), a pack of jacks (Bean loves to collect tiny things and put them in piles), and a container of Play-Doh. Bean loves this thing. When we go out to eat, he sits very quietly and plays with all his “new” toys. I think it’s a good idea to have some things that are designated for specific times or places. It makes them seem more important and special. Plus, the formula box is just the right size for Bean to have complete control over what he plays with. It’s essentially like having a tiny toy box that he can dig through at the table.

Another new addition to our “big kid” diaper bag are sunglasses. At first, I used to buy sunglasses for the kids because… I mean, what’s cuter than a kid in sunglasses?

But living in Florida, sunglasses are almost a necessity, even for wee ones. Bean has gotten to the point now where he asks for his sunglasses in the car when it’s really bright. So, I keep these in the outside pocket of my diaper bag now partly for pure entertainment, and partly for practical use. Even little bitty eyeballs need protection.

Other staples in my new diaper bag include activities that will keep the kids entertained. I replaced all the small hand toys and stuffed animals this weekend with activities instead. I put in coloring books, animal alphabet cards, lacing cards, and a few beginning reader sight word books that my mom got Bean for Easter.

I used to carry around a lot of baby toys for Gracie, but all she ever wanted were Bean’s toys, so now I just give her whatever he is playing with. If he has flashcards out, she looks at them with us or Bean gives her a couple cards for her to carry around. If he’s playing with lacing cards, she likes to wave around the strings. We basically just adapt whatever Bean’s playing with for Gracie and that seems to keep her attention these days more than baby toys.

I should also say here that when I go somewhere with just Bean, we don’t take the diaper bag at all. Instead, he has a little backpack that he carries. I put some activities and games in there, along with his sippy cup and snack, and he’s good to go. He even likes to carry it around by himself.

What about you guys? What do you carry in your bag for older babies and toddlers?

6 comments | posted in About Beanie, Baby Products, Out and About, parenting, Parenting Ideas, Siblings, The Romper Room, Toddlerhood, What I've Learned | tags: diaper bags, toddlers

I haven’t had one of those parenting days in a while. You know the ones. Those days when nothing goes right and everything is a struggle. I mean, don’t get me wrong. On most days, there’s always something that is challenging, but there are certain days when it seems like everything I touch becomes ten times harder to accomplish. It’d been a while since I had one of those, so I was probably overdue. On Wednesday, I paid for it.

I had the best of intentions on Wednesday afternoon. I was going to pick the kids up from daycare as soon as I was done at school, and we were going to head across town to our church where Chris would meet us for a family dinner before we all went to the Ash Wednesday service at 6:30. It should have been fairly simple. Ahhh…best laid plans…

I had forgotten when I planned this little soiree that I had after school tutoring scheduled (I tutor in writing two days a week for an hour after school), so I ended up leaving a full hour after I originally planned. Which meant I would not, in fact, miss the rush hour traffic as we headed across town to the church. But, I was still optimistic. I picked up the kids and we set out. But we didn’t get far. We pretty much came to a dead stop on the interstate in rush hour traffic and we continued to creep for the next full HOUR. For one hour, I sat in traffic with a screaming Gracie and a whining Bean, who were both hungry. As we crept closer and closer to the church, the sky grew darker and darker and darker until I was sure there was a hurricane getting ready to hit us. But as bad as the wind blew and as dark as the clouds grew, no rain fell and so I thought that maybe we’d be able to get to church before the heavens opened up and soaked us.

And the rain did hold out. It waited until I had just loaded my arms full of diaper bags, a thermal tote with our dinner inside, my purse, and I had just pulled Gracie in her carrier out of the car. THEN, the heavens opened up. So, holding all of these things, and trying desperately hard not to drop Gracie’s carrier, I now had to try to wrestle with an umbrella, too. All of this while Gracie is screaming bloody murder in her seat. She doesn’t like the rain. It makes her hair curl.

So, I’m hurrying and balancing and trying to protect my screaming banshee of a child from the rain, when I finally make it over to Bean’s side of the car to get him out and I discover that – surprise! – he’d taken off his socks AND shoes in the car.

Now, at this point, I am very carefully balanced with all my bags and supplies and giant babies in car seats. My arms are full and I’m standing in the pouring rain, holding an umbrella handle under my chin, trying to keep Gracie dry. In order to put Bean’s shoes on him, I’d have to put everything down. But where? It was pouring!

“Michael!” I barked. “Why did you take off your socks and shoes?”

“Because my feets were hot,” he pleaded.

But before I could even begin to think of how I was going to handle this (I’d have to put everything back in the car, including the car seat, go put Bean’s shoes on, and then reload everything in my arms for the second time…), a Good Samaritan appeared.

This very kind older woman was walking by with her umbrella, trying to get into the church, but when she saw me struggling to hold everything and then heard me asking about Bean’s shoes, she turned back to me and said, “Hi there. My name is Betty. Can I please help you?” I tried to kind of smile and say that I really had it under control, but it was very clear that I did not. So, Betty kindly pushed me out of the way and told me to keep Gracie dry while she literally climbed her 80 year old self up inside my SUV and dug out Bean’s shoes which had been flung to the nether regions of my floorboards. The whole time she climbed and searched, she talked to Bean, and he must have liked her because he talked right back. He told her about his day and about his “bes’ fend” at school, and about how we were going to go to “cherch” tonight and eat God’s snack (which is what we call Communion). Finally, Betty got both shoes on Bean and helped him out of his seat and then she walked up to the church with us, holding him under her umbrella while I carried Gracie’s seat and all my bags under mine.

At the outdoor entry to the nursery, she said goodbye and I thanked her profusely, while insisting that I now had everything under control. So, she leaves, and I turn around to go inside the building to the nursery only to discover the entire nursery wing is locked. No lights are on. No doors are open. It’s shut tight. So, now I’m standing under a tiny awning with all my bags, my screaming baby in her car seat, and a squirming, hungry toddler.

Cue the lightning and thunder.

It started popping lightning around us and the thunder boomed so loud that Bean literally scaled up one side of me and down the other. He was terrified. Gracie was, too. And I had no where for us to go. When I had stopped to thank Betty, I had set down all of my things in the process of our conversation, so I very quickly started piling my bags on my arms again, picked up the infant carrier (which, with Gracie in it, weighs about 35 or 40 pounds, at least), and tried to also carry/drag Bean, who was now terrified of the lightning and had strapped himself to my right leg.

Now, our church campus is beautiful and very Floridian, which means it’s open air. Which meant we now had to get from one side of campus to the other in order to find a building that was unlocked. So, we start the trek, me balancing all these things and cursing myself for choosing to wear heels that day to work.

We finally made it to the other building and managed to get into the church kitchen, where I dropped everything in relief and immediately texted Chris, “I really need some help. Where are you?” He responded with, “Running late. Won’t make dinner. Will be late for church. Love you.” To which I responded with a text that was not appropriate for church OR this blog. I ditched my phone and concentrated on feeding the kids dinner. Only, I just realized that in the shuffle of sweet Betty helping us get out of the car, I had accidentally left our dinner tote in the backseat of my car. Which was across the church campus. And it was still raining and thundering and lightning.

Awesome.

So, I left my bags in the kitchen, threw Gracie on my hip, and held Bean’s hand while we ran back across campus to the car through the rain, got our dinner, and then ran back across campus to the kitchen again. If we hadn’t been before, we were now SOAKED.

But soaked or dry, everyone was hungry. So, I got Bean all set up with his PB&J and sat Gracie on the table so I could hand her little pieces of steamed veggies I’d brought for her. About 10 minutes into dinner, Gracie knocked her entire bowl of food onto the floor and then immediately started crying because she wanted more. As I was cleaning that up with the one small napkin I could find, Bean spilled his cup of apple juice all over the table.

Excellent.

I finally got everything cleaned up and loaded up and we headed back to the nursery. It had been half an hour and it was only 15 minutes until the service started. Surely, the nursery would be open. We fumble our way once again through the rain with all my bags, the infant carrier, and Bean in tow, only to find the nursery to still be locked. Seriously, I almost started crying. Instead, I prayed.

I believe the exact prayer I prayed went like, “God! What the crap, man? I’m trying to get to church! Are you freaking serious with this?”

So, I just gave up. I set my bags down, I sat down on the ground and pulled a crying, scared Bean into my lap, and we sat there for 10 minutes under a tiny awning in the rain and thunder while we waited for the nursery to open. Finally, one of the nursery girls came flying up and let us into the building. I got the kids all set up and made it to church right on time. Chris, unfortunately, was about 20 minutes late and ended up sitting in a pew behind me because of the crowd.

Sometimes these days, I forget how hard it is to be a parent. You get so used to going, going, going that you almost forget what it’s like to not be on full speed all the time. And I forget that I’m tired, and I somehow manage to fit it all into the 24 hours in a day. But then there are other days. And on those other days, the only thing that holds it all together is the fact that you don’t have time for it to all fall apart. On those days, you just pray angry prayers to get through the moment and hope you aren’t doing any permanent damage to your children’s psyche. Then, you go home, wipe everyone down with a diaper wipe, kiss them goodnight, as you climb into your own bed, you say another prayer that somewhere in this somber season of Lent, you find a little time to be still.

And then you wake up tomorrow to blue skies and happy babies, and life goes on as it always has.

27 comments | posted in Family, Out and About, parenting, The Romper Room, What I've Learned | tags: life, parenting

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is figuring out the logistics. I remember being pregnant with Bean and sitting up all night long worrying about things like how I was going to get him from the car into the doctors appointment, or what I was going to do with him in the grocery store? What I hated most about being a new mom was feeling like everyone else knew how to do things and I didn’t, and so I wanted to figure it out before anyone knew that I didn’t have a clue what I was doing!

If I could tell new moms anything, I would tell them this giant secret of parenthood: We’re all new moms.

Every time Bean hits a new milestone or a new phase or a new age, I’m back to the beginning. Sitting up at night, trying to figure out how to do this parenting thing. It’s a continuous cycle of figuring things out. Your only real objective is to learn only slightly faster than your children grow. And you quickly realize, that’s just darn impossible.

But, it’s the figuring things out that makes parenting so rewarding. The first time Michael ran a fever and I didn’t freak out and have to call the pediatrician in the middle of the night, I felt like Super Woman. The first time Bean had a successful time out, I felt like Wonder Woman. The first time I took both kids grocery shopping by myself, I felt like She-Ra. Watching yourself learn and grown as a parent is sometimes just as exciting as watching your children learn and grow. So, if you’re feeling a little overwhelmed by being a new mom (of children ANY age), take heart. We all feel like that sometimes. You’re in good company.

I thought today, I would share some random, simple, logistical tips that I’ve learned over the past two and a half years. There are a thousand different ways to parent, so some of these may not be the way for you. But maybe they’ll at least give you one option in a sea of many.

- When we’re in a parking lot and I’m trying to get the kids into the car, I always put Bean in first. He is the one who moves around the most and the one who would be most likely to bolt out in traffic, so I feel better when he is contained somewhere. Usually, I put him in his seat (now he likes to crawl up himself) quickly, without buckling him, and he plays around in the backseat while I walk around and buckle Gracie in. Then, I go back to Bean and buckle him in. This gets Gracie in her seat quickly, but it also keeps Bean contained.

- If you have two little ones and you can wing it, it makes things much easier to do dinner, bath, and bedtime all together. We have to do modified versions of this routine with Gracie so that she can hang in there with Bean (ex. she sits in her high chair and feeds herself bits of food while I get his dinner ready and then I feed her the actual baby food when Bean sits down to eat), but for the most part, we give them dinner at the same time and then we give them a bath together. Then, Chris gets Bean ready for bed and I get Gracie ready for bed and they both go down at the same time. That way, our attention isn’t focused on one child while the other has to wait. It also helps keep our evening routine from dragging out for hours. Both kids are in bed by 7:00.

- If you’re able, having two people at bath time when you have two babies in the tub makes it easier and safer. One of us takes one and the other takes the second and we get them all soaped up and clean at the same time.

- If you move a newborn into their own room for the first time and you find yourself unable to sleep because you’re listening to every twitch on the baby monitor, try turning the monitor off. Trust me, when babies need something, they make those needs KNOWN. If they truly wake up because they need something, you’ll be able to hear them cry without the monitor (provided your room is within ear shot of the nursery). I finally took the monitor out of our room with Bean because I was jumping wide awake at every noise he made. And then I realized that if he actually needed me, he would make enough noise on his own.

- When you’re putting on baby shoes on little, bitty, pudgy baby feet, try putting them on at an angle and then twisting them onto the baby’s feet, like you’re twisting the lid on a jar. The shoe will just “snap” into place.

- When at all possible, carry your infant in the car seat/carrier. I know it’s super heavy to lug around, but when you’re on the go, babies sleep better in their own space. Plus, if it’s cold outside, keeping them wrapped up in their seat with a good blanket keeps them much warmer than if you lift them out.

- Never go ANYWHERE without a burp cloth! No matter how long you’re going to be gone. Even if you’re just running out to the mailbox with your baby – TAKE A BURP CLOTH. Trust me.

- I don’t usually carry diapers in my diaper bag. I have a pack of them that I leave in the car, along with a changing mat and a pack of wipes. I found that whenever we were out and about and I needed a diaper change, I’d rather take the baby out to the car to change them anyway than change them in a public restroom. A word of caution, though, keep diaper wipes in your bag! You’ll use them for so many things!

- If you have babies in daycare, be sure you not only label their bottle, but you label the lids, too. We had so many lids lost or sent home with the wrong families before I finally got smart and started labeling the lid, too.

- This might not work for everyone, but for my babies, we tried to take them out for errands during nap time. When they are newborns and very young infants, usually they can sleep just about anywhere. So, I’d give them a big bottle, load ‘em up in their car seat, and on the drive to the grocery story, they’d fall asleep. Then, I’d just put the carrier in the seat part of the grocery cart and they’d sleep while I shopped. The only setback to this method is that when you get home, the baby will be wide-eyed and you’ll be wanting a nap! But, if you really need to get some things done, try doing it during nap time.

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24 comments | posted in Baby Products, Out and About, parenting, Parenting Ideas, The Romper Room, What I've Learned | tags: babies, parenting, toddlers

In the past few months, dinnertime with Bean has become increasingly…um…hellish? Disastrous? Unbearable?

D. All of the above.

Bean eats like most toddlers. He has a HUGE breakfast every morning. Usually he has two bowls of cereal, a banana, a piece of toast (sometimes two), and some yogurt. He’s like He-Man in the mornings. At school he normally eats all his morning snack and most of his lunch. His afternoon snack is when he starts winding down and he’s hit or miss as to whether he actually eats any. By dinner, he is not interested in food at all.

Our pediatrician said that as long as he’s eating a balanced diet most of the day, we shouldn’t stress too much about the light dinner. And I get that. But part of eating dinner is the sitting down as a family. That’s something I want Bean to learn is part of our household routine. Also, at daycare he’s getting balanced meals, but they aren’t SUPER healthy every day and dinnertime is how I make sure he gets some fresh veggies and fruit in his day. So, while I don’t require him to eat everything, he does have to sit at the table with us and eat a little bit.

And, therein lies the challenge.

I have been struggling with how to get Bean to eat without ruining dinner with temper tantrums (no small feat, I assure you…). Most of the time, he’s pretty good. I let him bring one toy to the table as long as he eats his dinner while the toy is there. Our dessert rule is that if Bean cleans his WHOLE plate, he gets a cookie. That actually rarely happens. Normally, he pokes at his meal for about half the meal while he talks to me and Chris. When he’s tired of sitting there (usually after 20 minutes), he asks to get down. If he hasn’t eaten enough, I ask him to take two or three bites and then he can get down. If he’s eaten a fair amount, I let him get down and tell him how much we enjoyed having him at the dinner table.

But there are those special nights when nothing works. He won’t eat anything and dinner looks like it’s going to be an epic fail in about 10 seconds. On those nights, we play The Game.

I accidentally came up with The Game one night when I was frustrated with Bean not eating his dinner. He had one of his toys on the table and I took it away from him because he wasn’t eating. When he asked nicely if he could have it back, I told him he could have it if be took one bite of veggies and one bite of chicken. He laughed like that was the greatest game in the whole world. So, I ran out to the living room and grabbed a handful of his favorite toys and put them in a bowl. Then, we started playing The Game.

The Rules:
- Bean can’t see what toys are in the bowl. It adds to the surprise when I pull one out.
- The toys much be pulled out with as much drama as possible. Extra points for silliness.
- The payment for each toy is based on the “value” of the toy to Bean. So, if it’s one of his favorite toys, he has to eat more food.
- The game ends when all the food is gone (which means I sometimes have to do several rounds in the living room collecting more toys) or whenever Bean gets fidgety.
- We only play the game once a week, at the most. It’s the novelty that makes it so fun to Bean.

Tonight I pulled The Game out because Bean hasn’t eaten a solid dinner for three nights now. This time, I had Chris video the beginning so you could see how it goes.

Getting toddlers to eat has to be one of the greatest parenting challenges. On those nights when I’m positive Bean is going to shrivel up and starve if he doesn’t eat dinner, this is my go-to game.

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