One Year

In one year, we have welcomed sweet Baby Tillman to our family. We’ve played soccer. We’ve made cornbread stuffing for Thanksgiving. We decorated our family Christmas tree. We each turned a year older. Over and over again, we gave our hearts (and then Baby Tut Tut…) to the Lord. We searched for joy. Sometimes we found it. And sometimes we didn’t. We celebrated new beginnings with family. We went pee pee in the potty! We learned to depend on each other. And we honored our family in new, special ways.…

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This Is It.

What I am about to say is going to show an ugly side of myself.  Just want to give you that fair warning. Sometimes, I look around at my life and I think, “This is it?  This is all there is?” I know!  It’s awful, isn’t it?  It doesn’t happen often, but every now and then I will hit a spell where that question forms in my mind for a couple days… and festers.  “This is it?” I love my life, but occasionally, I get a case of the covetsies.…

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Happy 30th Birthday, Chris!

Dear Pookey, Welcome to your 30’s!  I can’t believe that we have actually been together for half our lives now.  In some ways that feels impossible.  I still get butterflies when you kiss me, I still smile when I get a text from you, I still giggle inside when someone says “Mrs. Brown.”   But in other ways, it feels like I have known you my whole life.  Maybe that is because anything of real importance began when you took my hand for the first time over 15 years ago.…

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Sweet Talking. Heartbreaking.

I haven’t posted in a while about my dad.  There have been lots of reasons for that.  Mostly, it’s because I don’t really like talking about it that often.  I still talk to Chris about it when I need to, but I haven’t really shared too much with others.  Grief is such a personal and indescribable experience.  It’s just too hard to try to put it into words to make people understand.  I also don’t share much about it because I know that reading about it on my blog sometimes upsets…

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Granddaddy’s Dock

I don’t often post pictures of people other than my own family to my blog. I’ve mentioned before that I very seldom talk about my blog with people in real life. People who know me in person are polite enough to pretend not to read it, which is thoughtful of them. And I don’t ever want people I know and love to worry that whatever we share in confidence of friendship or family is going to be publicly broadcast over the internet. It also saves me the embarrassment of shoving…

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Remembering His Laughter

Sometimes at night, after the kids and dogs are asleep and the house is finally quiet, I’ll close my eyes, concentrate really hard, and try to remember my dad’s voice.  I’ll try to replay a conversation we had or image what he might say about something going on in my life today.  Usually, though, all I can remember is the sound of his laugh.  Filling a room then, and my heart now. I hope that’s the kind of legacy I leave one day.  

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A Day, A Week

It’s been an odd week.  I’ve been out of sorts.  Things feel out of control and a little overwhelming.  But when I try to put my finger on what exactly is off, there isn’t anything I can point to.  I’ve had some big things going on, but none of them are necessarily overwhelming.  Every decision I’ve made has been well thought out and I feel good when I lay my head down at night.  But something is just… off. I know what it is, too.  My dad’s funeral is on…

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Readjusting to Fill the Hole

This weekend my sister and her husband, John Michael, brought their wittle bitty newborn, Tillman, down to visit. I was so excited to see them. The last time we all got together it was for my dad’s memorial service, so I was ready for a happier reason to get together. And the weekend did not disappoint! Ginny actually got into town on Wednesday, but since Chris and I were working, she spent a few days with my mom. That gave Nana some good one-on-one time with her newest grandson. On…

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Almost Back in Action

Well, friends, I’m just about back in action here at Marriage Confessions. I had a rough time this past week as we formally said goodbye to my dad with his family and friends at a wonderful memorial service that truly did celebrate his life. It was wonderful to see friends of our family that I hadn’t seen in ages and to hear them tell funny stories about my dad. And it was really nice to meet some of his golfing friends that I hadn’t ever met before, but had heard…

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