Hooray for Me!

I try to keep my blog posts about my marriage neutral so that readers can’t point blame.  But I can’t help it tonight.  I’m pointing blame directly at my husband.  Because he was a jackass tonight and because I think I should get a medal for not doing any of the following: 1)  Kicking him in the shins 2)  Stuffing my lemon chicken up his… 3)  Leaving him with the kids while I walked out and went shopping at Target But I didn’t do any of those things.  Instead, I…

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Confessions About Fighting

I’m sure every marriage is different in their fighting style. Sometimes I hear girlfriend’s talk about fights they have had with their husbands, and I think, “Holy cow, that can’t be healthy!” But I know that when they hear stories about some of mine and Chris’s fights, they probably think the same thing. We all fight differently, and for different reasons. But here are a few confessions about fights in my marriage: 1. Sometimes we go to bed angry. Actually, we USUALLY go to bed angry if we’ve had a…

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Bringing Your Work Home

One of the things that came out of the Big Fight of 2013 is the realization that Chris and I had stopped sharing small things about our days with each other. Either because we were afraid it would lead to some kid of argument over something silly or because we just didn’t feel like talking to the other person, we would ask, “How was your day?” and each of us would respond, “It was fine.” And that was about it. For, like, two months. We’re really trying to make an…

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Rain or Shine, He’s My Guy

I have mentioned that we are in the process of tearing down and re-building our back deck.  And when I say “we,” I mean exclusively Chris.  Other than saying, “Man, I hate our deck,” about six months ago, I have done little else.  He went all technical on me and used his drafting program from work to draft out our deck plans a few months ago.  Then we saved money for, like, forever because a deck is no cheap project.  And we are finally now ready to start the project.…

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Rough Patch

Chris and I are coming out of rough patch that we’ve been battling for a couple months. Those are never any fun to be in, but they are even LESS fun to come out of because in order to get out of a rough patch, you have to speak to each other. Without fighting. And you have to agree. Without holding resentment. And, in my experience, being in a rough patch by definition means I don’t really want to get along with my husband, much less AGREE with him on…

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Nagging vs. Communicating

Chris and I are coming off the heels of a tough month for our marriage.  We go through these periodically, and I’m hoping that’s fairly normal.  About once a year, there’s a big explosion in our marriage where everything that’s been piling up gets aired out.  Our big one was last month, and, boy, did it encompass a lot of issues.  We’d just been through the holidays, he was going through a really hard time at work, I was feeling the pressure of a standardized test my kids were preparing…

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How to Pick Your Battles

I realized the other day that it had been a while since Chris and I had a good knock down, drag out fight. Which is saying something because we are smack dab in the middle of our 7th year of marriage, and isn’t that supposed to be the big one? The seven year itch one? The one that every young couple dreads? The seventh year. (insert high pitched, horror movie scream here) But we are in the middle of Year Seven, and I would say that this year we have…

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I’m a Loser

I’m a loser.  I lose things.  Not everything, but a lot of things.  And generally, it’s the same things over and over again.  I lose my cell phone all the time, and sometimes I lose it for a couple days at a time.  People text or call me and think I’m not responding because I’m avoiding them, but usually it’s because I’ve misplaced my cell phone for a while.  Same thing happens with my sunglasses.  I don’t really know what happens to them, but they will just disappear for a…

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To Clarify

Wowzers, Imaginary Friends!  Way to get my back when I’m in a fight!  Holy moley!  But I should clarify in an effort to defend my ego-battered husband.  Sometimes I forget that you all aren’t living my life right beside me.  I share so much on the blog that I sometimes forget that I don’t share EVERYTHING, so when I leave out critical information it can really give the wrong impression. When I write something that elicits such passionate feedback, I debate about how to respond. Usually, I decide not to…

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Pouting, Fighting and Apologies

So, Chris and I have been fighting for two days.  But we only just ACTUALLY spoke about it tonight.  And by spoke, I mean he said he was mad, I got mad for him being mad, we slammed some doors, then went to Bean’s Christmas concert at school, smiled with the other parents like everything was fine, came home and put the kids to bed together, and then sat on opposite ends of the couch pouting until bedtime. All very mature, highly functioning stuff. I have two versions of the…

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