Posts Tagged ‘technology’

I am a talker.  Its just my nature.  I talk to feel closer to people.  I talk to keep up with things.  I talk to get projects done.  I talk because no one else is talking.  I am a talker.

Naturally, I have had my fair share of high phone bills.  In fact, when I was in high school and still living at home, my parent’s cell phone bill which included my sister and me was often delivered in a huge file folder.  And, one time, in a box.  Cell phones are just an extension of life for me.  And now that I have my iPhone, I am never far from my own little piece of Internet Land.  And – bonus! – I am also never far from ordering a pizza. 

But about six months ago, I saw a show on Oprah that changed my perspective on cell phone usage.  She did a show on the importance of not using your cell phone while driving.  To be honest with you, I was so used to talking on my cell while driving that I hadn’t even given it a second thought before that show.  But watching stories told by parents of teenagers who had been killed while talking on their cell phones or by drivers who hit them while talking on their cell phone really caught my attention and I vowed then and there to stop my bad habit. 

For the most part, I have succeeded.  Every now and then I catch myself answering a call or picking up my phone to call someone while I’m behind the wheel, but I almost always catch my mistake and hang up immediately.  Mostly, its because of Bean.  I couldn’t handle the thought of what could happen if my attention wasn’t 100% on what I was doing when I was driving.  I just can’t handle that thought.  And especially when I know that that situation can completely be prevented if I can just be patient enough to wait until I am out of my car to make or take a phone call. 

And don’t get me started on texting while driving.  I am a terrible texter, so I don’t do it often.  But I have seen so many people drift into my lane on accident while they were driving.  Thank goodness my attention was on the road and not in some cell phone or God knows what could have happened. 

The thing is that I think people are so used to driving, so comfortable driving, that they forget that when they get behind the wheel of a car they are taking not just their own lives into their hands, but the lives of those in the cars around them.  We share the roadway with all kinds of people – mothers, father, brothers, sisters, daughters, sons, best friends, neighbors, aunts, uncles, and on and on.  Those people sitting in their car next to you at that red light are not just people.  They have a family and a life and we need to remember that when we are driving. 

Today, my best friend (no, not PW…my OTHER best friend) Oprah is calling for a No Cell Phone Zone in our cars.  No talking, no texting, to Twittering, nothing behind the wheel of our cars today.  But I’m calling for a No Cell Phone Zone EVERY DAY.  Because I am on the road every day and my eleven month old son is with me.  And while YOU might be comfortable talking and driving in your car by yourself, how would you feel if my son were in your car with you? 

Today, I’m dusting off my soapbox for a cause that I am not just dedicated to, but passionate about.  Talking and texting while driving KILLS PEOPLE.  It isn’t just reckless behavior, it is irresponsible and selfish behavior.  So I’m asking my blog readers to make the pledge today with me for a No Cell Phone Zone in their cars.  Not just today, not just tomorrow, but every single time you get in a car. 

If you’d like to take Oprah’s pledge or get more information, I encourage you to visit Oprah’s website at www.oprah.com. 

But you don’t need Oprah.  You don’t need me.  Make the decision for yourself and for your loved ones.  Do us all a favor and put the cell phones away when you’re driving.

Let’s talk about my history with cell phones since I have been married.  When I got my first big girl job, Chris bought me a Blackberry Pearl to celebrate.  You know.  Cause every working girl needs a Blackberry. And pearls.

Wait.  Where’s the Blackberry Pearl?

Oh, that’s right.  I lost it.

I lost it after only a couple months and Chris has never let me forget it.  Every time he buys me anything, he says something like, “Now, take better care of this than you did your Blackberry…”  And I roll my eyes and move on with my day.

The next big girl phone I had was bought for me by my company.  It was a Blackberry, too.  The old fashion kind that’s clunky and chunky and that I actually kind of preferred because the keyboard was bigger.

But I lost that one, too.  Actually, I technically lost the little wand that you use to type on the screen with first.  But the Blackberry itself wasn’t too far behind.  I believe that this one met its fate in the woods one night after a particularly festive evening at a friend’s house involving way too much wine and way too tall heels.  I meant to toss the phone into the car, but instead I hurled it into the woods.  Honest mistake.  Could have happened to anyone.

So, when I got to work on Monday, I went groveling to our operations department about how my phone had suddenly disappeared and was it possible for me to order a new one.  The answer to that question was no.  No, the university could not buy me a new phone because I got drunk and threw mine into the woods.  Apparently the warranties don’t cover that.  So, I went online to find another Blackberry to replace the one that I lost.

And I found this one…

But it rang one afternoon and I guess that was not okay with Molly.  So she ate it.

By the time this one was eaten, my contract was up for renewal at work and so the university was able to buy me another phone at no cost.  This time I got the Blackberry World Edition.  So, if I ever found myself in need of a designated driver in a foreign country, I was all set to call someone.  Miraculously, I have had this phone for almost two years.  But then last year, Chris got an iPhone and I got sick with iPhone envy.

I wanted the 3Gs.  And I wanted them bad.

So, for my birthday this year, Chris got me an iTouch.  And it was great.  But everywhere I went, I had to take all my equipment with me.

So today.  After all of this.  After the ups and downs.  After the dogs and the drunken accidents and the lost phones floating around out there somewhere, I have made it.

I am now the owner of (wait for it, wait for it…) an iPhone.

I love her so much that I even bought her an outfit.  A little sumthin’ sumthin’ so she feels welcome and knows how happy I am to have her…

Doesn’t she look pretty?  I shall call her Petunia and love her forever.

I realize that to many of you out there, a new cell phone isn’t really worthy of a blog post.  But in my little world, this is just about as exciting as Wednesday night has ever been.

A couple years ago, I bought Chris a Garmin Nuvi GPS for Christmas.  He named her Garmin and they fell instantly in love.  She spoke sweetly and yet assertively to him.  She gave him direction in his aimless life.  They forged new paths down new roads together.  They got lost and then found themselves together.  It was true love.

Garmin, however, hated me.  She hated me with all of her electronic being.  I was, of course, the other woman.  She might try to lead Chris down many other paths, but “Home” was always on his favorites list.  And Garmin blamed me.  Consequently, she never worked for me.  She was always claiming she couldn’t find my location when I was, clearly, in an easy place to find.  And she was always leading me down dark roads and telling me my destination was on my left.

It never was.

But I never complained to Garmin or to Chris.  I knew their love was special.  A place where I didn’t belong.  And so I kept those feelings to myself.

But today, I got to see the inner workings of Chris’ relationship with Garmin and, I have to say, it wasn’t so pretty.  For one thing, Chris talks so terribly to Garmin.  So, so terribly.  Its like he knows just what buttons to push to get her all worked up.

I remember when their relationship was fresh and new, Chris did anything that Garmin asked of him.

“Turn left on College,” Garmin would say.

“Okay, Garmin!”  Chris would chime and off they rode into the sunset.

But today I noticed a difference in Chris’ tone.  He was frustrated with Garmin.

“Turn left on 63rd Street,” Garmin said.

“No, Garmin!  I don’t want to go that way!” Chris would yell.  And he would instead take a right, leaving Garmin to recalculate their relationship.

“Recalculating, recalculating,” she would stammer, like a dog shoved aside.  “Recalculating.”

And then, not being one to give up on love, Garmin would try again.

“Turn left on 63rd Street.”

“I said NO, Garmin!  I don’t want to go that way!” Chris shouted.  “Why are you always making me do things YOUR way?  You’re so selfish!”

And again, Garmin was left to recalculate the direction their relationship was going.

“Turn left on 63rd Street,” Garmin said, weary, but willing to give this 100% of her effort.

“DAMMIT, GARMIN!” shouted Chris.  “QUIT TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!”

And with that, Chris put Garmin in time out in the glove box of the car.

I can’t be positive, but I think I heard Garmin’s muffled, digital, little voice whisper, “Recalculating.”

With Garmin out of site, Chris’ true intentions were revealed when he pulled a….a….a…iPhone out of his pocket!!!  Oh, no!

Oh, yes!

Chris was being unfaithful to Garmin and she was merely a few feet away from him, recalculating her love and worth inside that glove box.  There he sat.  Using the GPS on his iPhone.  Like a bastard.

They’re all bastards, Garmin.

I couldn’t help but wonder as I watched my husband shove aside his electronic mistress so thoughtlessly, “Could that have been me?  Could he have so easily shoved me in a glove box?  An extra large glove box in an extra large car?” These are the thoughts that no wife ever wants to think about for too long.

Fortunately for me, I don’t have to think about them for too long.  Chris has a terrible sense of direction and I know that he’d be lost without me.