My Father in Heaven

My Father in Heaven

Monday marks the second anniversary of my dad’s passing.  It’s been two years, and even writing that first sentence still takes my breath away.  Two years later, and I still can’t believe he is gone. I don’t write about my dad often.  At least, not his passing, anyway.  I don’t really talk about it much either.  I still mention him in every day conversations, the way anyone mentions their parents from time to time.  “My dad used to…” or “My dad loved…”  I talk to the kids a lot about him,…

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Puke and Rally in My 30’s

Puke and Rally in My 30’s

Yesterday, I started my first workout of a three-week bootcamp.  For three weeks, I am going to be doing these crazy intense workouts and eating like a squirrel. Please notice the extreme excitement in my voice. (Pssst… there is no excitement in my voice.) I let my friend, Danielle, convince me to not only participate in this torture, but to PAY for this torture.  And then Danielle went out of town for the first two sessions, so I showed up yesterday to the first work out BY MYSELF.  She’s a…

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One Year

One Year

In one year, we have welcomed sweet Baby Tillman to our family. We’ve played soccer. We’ve made cornbread stuffing for Thanksgiving. We decorated our family Christmas tree. We each turned a year older. Over and over again, we gave our hearts (and then Baby Tut Tut…) to the Lord. We searched for joy. Sometimes we found it. And sometimes we didn’t. We celebrated new beginnings with family. We went pee pee in the potty! We learned to depend on each other. And we honored our family in new, special ways….

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I Come to the Garden

I Come to the Garden

This weekend we laid my dad to rest in our hometown of Pensacola, Florida. It could not have been a more beautiful service. Our minister from our childhood performed the ceremony, and the words he said will stay with me for the rest of my life. I was so touched to see the people who took time out of their days to stand next to my family during a very difficult time. I think their presence moved me more than anything else. It wasn’t as hard as I worried it…

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Low Days

Low Days

I haven’t written much more about dealing with my dad’s unexpected passing.  Part of that is because I don’t want to bore you with my grief.  But mostly it’s been because I am a firm believer in thinking the thoughts you want to feel.  If you surround yourself with sadness, you’ll be sad.  If you surround yourself with laughter, then you’ll be happy. Well, in a very shallow, theoretical nutshell. But sometimes, when you stuff all that sadness into that shallow, theoretical nutshell, it just wells up after a while. …

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The Grief Deadline

The Grief Deadline

I’ve been doing pretty good dealing with my grief after losing my dad.  I think about him all the time, but it doesn’t make me cry nearly as much anymore.  I can think about funny stories about him and laugh, I can remember him and smile.  In fact, it’s been a few days since I’ve cried, which is a big improvement.  I’ve been so worried about how my family is dealing with their grief that I didn’t really have to deal with mine for a while.  And, I have to…

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Almost Back in Action

Almost Back in Action

Well, friends, I’m just about back in action here at Marriage Confessions. I had a rough time this past week as we formally said goodbye to my dad with his family and friends at a wonderful memorial service that truly did celebrate his life. It was wonderful to see friends of our family that I hadn’t seen in ages and to hear them tell funny stories about my dad. And it was really nice to meet some of his golfing friends that I hadn’t ever met before, but had heard…

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Sitting in My Boat

Sitting in My Boat

I’ve been hesitant to blog about real things this week for a couple reasons. Mostly, it’s because my mom and sister read my blog and I don’t want to write anything that upsets them. But it’s also because I don’t really know what to say. My mom and I were having a low little moment yesterday afternoon together on the phone, and we both agreed that it’s hard to talk to people because what exactly do you say? There are only so many times you can say that you’re sad…

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I.m an Aunt!

I.m an Aunt!

Last Thursday night, Chris and I left after work and drove to Atlanta to be there for the birth of my first nephew. We left our own kids in the very capable hands of my friend, Sarah, and her husband, Scott. Their adventures with our two kids are worthy of a blog post themselves, so I’ll have to work on that. But in a nutshell, they were well taken care of and happy in our own home, relaxing and playing after a really heavy week. Chris and I got to…

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Big Grief in Small People

Big Grief in Small People

On the car ride to the hospital, even before I knew my dad had died, I worried about what I would say to Bean.  Gracie is really too little to understand or to even know that something is wrong, but Bean Man was a different story.  He’s old enough to know when something is going on.  And he was really close with my dad. I asked my mom the first night what she thought we should tell Bean.  I was at a complete loss, but I knew he would wake…

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