7 Months and a Day

Yesterday was seven months since my dad passed away.  I can’t believe it’s already been seven months.  I feel like I just saw him yesterday.  I think that’s part of coping for me.  I always feel like he was just here.  Like I just got off the phone with him.  Didn’t I just talk to him on the phone?  Wasn’t he just here sitting on my couch?  Wasn’t he just laughing in the other room a few minutes ago?  How can it have been seven months if I can still…

Read More

Take a Bow, Mom

Tomorrow, February 28, is my mom’s last day as a working woman.  She’s retiring after a lifetime of being a full-time working mom.  I am so darn proud of her. Sadly, I don’t think my mom is as excited about this milestone as the rest of us are for her.  A year ago, retirement was the golden finish line and she couldn’t wait to have free time filled with crafting, golfing, her grandkids, and my dad.  But like in a million other ways, my dad’s passing has left her to…

Read More

I Come to the Garden

This weekend we laid my dad to rest in our hometown of Pensacola, Florida. It could not have been a more beautiful service. Our minister from our childhood performed the ceremony, and the words he said will stay with me for the rest of my life. I was so touched to see the people who took time out of their days to stand next to my family during a very difficult time. I think their presence moved me more than anything else. It wasn’t as hard as I worried it…

Read More

A Look Back, A Step Ahead

Today is New Year’s Day. It would have been my parents 33rd wedding anniversary. This holiday season brought so many firsts to my family without my dad. I turned 30 without him (which was surprisingly hard). We had our first Christmas without him. His birthday would have been the day after Christmas, and that was a tough day this year. And then my parent’s anniversary today. It was one thing after another, and our family would have had every reason to sit in a corner somewhere and just let the…

Read More

Fa La La La… Nope.

I am a Christmas junkie.  I love it all.  I love the holy season where we celebrate Christ’s birth.  I love the silly Christmas movies.  (FRA-GI-LE…)  I love the music.  I love the lights.  I love the cookies.  I love the presents.  I love the pageants, plays and concerts.  I just love it all.  The day after Thanksgiving kicks off my Christmas season and I don’t agree to put it all away until New Years. But this year has been different. We didn’t put our tree up until two weeks…

Read More

Thanksgiving 2012

I was worried about Thanksgiving this year, but it turns out that the few days leading up to the holiday were the toughest. I got a little sad when the kids were in daycare and I was home by myself. I missed my dad, and it seemed even stronger without anyone around to take my mind off of it. But thankfully (?) the kids got sick and had to stay home from school for Tuesday and Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so I had some company… even if my company had some…

Read More

Seasons of Grief

I had a rough day yesterday. I have this whole week off of work, and I planned to send the kids to school just on Monday so I could get some Christmas shopping done and go grocery shopping for Thanksgiving. I was actually looking forward to some time by myself. But I keep forgetting that days to myself are really difficult. It’s hard to keep your mind busy the whole time, so I ended up thinking about my dad a lot. Especially because the things I was doing were things…

Read More

A Thanksgiving List

1.  I don’t really want to talk too much about this topic, and sometimes lists are easier to use for things like that.  Lists make hard things easy. 2.  I’m not excited about Thanksgiving this year.  In fact, I’ve been dreading it for over a month now. 3.  Everything right now is focused on being thankful and family and cooking with loved ones.  I don’t feel thankful, my family feels incomplete, and I can’t imagine cooking on Thanksgiving morning without my dad. 4.  My mom and sister will be in…

Read More

Low Days

I haven’t written much more about dealing with my dad’s unexpected passing.  Part of that is because I don’t want to bore you with my grief.  But mostly it’s been because I am a firm believer in thinking the thoughts you want to feel.  If you surround yourself with sadness, you’ll be sad.  If you surround yourself with laughter, then you’ll be happy. Well, in a very shallow, theoretical nutshell. But sometimes, when you stuff all that sadness into that shallow, theoretical nutshell, it just wells up after a while. …

Read More

Readjusting to Fill the Hole

This weekend my sister and her husband, John Michael, brought their wittle bitty newborn, Tillman, down to visit. I was so excited to see them. The last time we all got together it was for my dad’s memorial service, so I was ready for a happier reason to get together. And the weekend did not disappoint! Ginny actually got into town on Wednesday, but since Chris and I were working, she spent a few days with my mom. That gave Nana some good one-on-one time with her newest grandson. On…

Read More