Bean,  Parenting

Selective Intelligence

August 4, 2010 /

I am amazed at how much Bean is learning these days.  It is incredible, really.  I think the biggest difference I notice with him at 14 MONTHS OLD (Holy crap!) is how much faster he is able to learn now.  It only takes us showing him something once or twice before he can say it back to us.  (Which, incidentally has meant we really have to be careful about what words we’re using around our house lately – no more potty words at ALL)

Most recently, Bean learned all the parts on his face.  He knows where his mouth, nose, and ears are.  And he knows where his eyes are, but for some reason he only wants to point to my eye and not his.  But we count that.  That little party trick would have taken weeks to teach him a few months ago, but he learned all of that within a few days of me just pointing them out on him or me or Mr. Bear.

I plan to include this on his Rhodes Scholar application.

Another thing that he is learning now is to follow simple instructions.  We’re still trying to curb the binky, but now instead of me taking it away from him, Bean can put it where I ask him to.  For example, when he gets up from his nap, I can ask him, “Can you put your binky in your crib?” and he’ll chunk his binky in his crib so that it’s waiting for him when he lays back down at bedtime.  Also, if he has his binky in the car and we get out at our destination, I can ask him to put his binky in his seat and he’ll toss his binky in his car seat and leave it there while we are out and about.  It’s a pretty great trick because having him put the binky away makes him feel like he is making the choice to leave it behind, instead of me taking it away.

I also love that now he can understand his daily routine enough to help me out when I ask him.  When I say, “Are you ready for breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack?” he goes right over to his chair and when he’s ready to get down now, instead of throwing food he says, “All done.”  So civilized, Beanie!  I can also ask him, “Are you ready for a bath?” or “Are you ready to brush your teeth?” and he goes right into the bathroom and gets ready.  Unfortunately though, knowing his routine means he also knows the phrases, “Let’s take a nap” and “Let’s go night-night.”  He hasn’t really started pitching fits about naps or bedtime, but you can see him get all panicky, like, “Wait!  Not  yet!”  It’s just a matter of time before he figures out how to postpone those!

Another of my favorite things that Beanie has learned is how to find things.  If I say, “Where are your shoes?” he starts looking around for them.  He only actually “finds” them if they are out in plain sight, but I love that he goes looking for them.  He is a big helper!  I make sure to ask him occasionally when they are out in plain sight, too, so that he gets the confidence of finding them.  He always squeals as holds them up in the air when he finds them, so that’s a big thrill.

But maybe my favorite phrase that Beanie has learned is “clean up!”  He can even sort of say it, but it sounds more like, “Kleenex.”  But he totally knows what it is.  He helps me clean up the living room by piling all his toys in his toy boxes and he helps me clean up his bedroom by bringing me toys so I can put them on his book shelf.  In the bathtub, he helps me clean up by putting all his bath toys in his sand bucket where we keep them.  We sing the clean up song from Barney while we do it, which is when he just starts chanting, “Keeeeenex, Keeeeeenex!”  Not sure where that “x” sound came from in the phrase, but at least he’s understanding the concept.

So what I would like to know is if Bean knows all these phrases and can repeat and follow simple instructions now, why does he not seem to comprehend the phrase, “No, Beanie”?  As in, “No, Beanie, we do not put the ducky in the toilet” or “No, Beanie, we do not put Mr. Bear in the toilet” or “No, Beanie, we do not put Mommy’s keys in the toilet” or “No, Beanie, we do not put golf balls in the toilet”, etc., etc., etc.

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I like to call this “selective intelligence.”

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19 Comments

  • Renee

    August 4, 2010 at 9:00 am Reply

    I’m a teacher, so I experience the selective intelligence on a daily basis (well, not right now, because it’s summer vacation…woo hoo!). And I’m also married, so I get double.

  • Kristen

    August 4, 2010 at 9:01 am Reply

    My parents called this “selective hearing” when I was growing up. I probably heard them but was so engrossed in what I was doing (watching TV, usually) that I just blocked out those requests to help with laundry or dishes, etc. I SWEAR to this day that I sometimes really did not hear them! But I probably heard “Wah wah wah” like Charlie Brown’s teacher, said “Uh-huh” just to stop the distracting noise, and went on with my business!

    I have a feeling this trait is going to come back to haunt me when I have kids of my own!

  • El

    August 4, 2010 at 9:51 am Reply

    That sounds very familiar. My munchkin likes to take the dishbrush out and use it on the mat in front of the kitchen floor so it gets dog hair on it (no matter how much I clean it)! Even when I am standing nearby and say, “No, leave the brush alone.” He just grabs it out anyway. 🙂

    Good luck.

  • Jesse

    August 4, 2010 at 1:28 pm Reply

    I love your blog! I’ve been reading for about a month now, mostly lurking. I think I commented once or twice. But this Bean post was adorable. He is such a cutie and what a great mom you are! My husband and I’ve been trying for a few years now, so I’m addicted to parenting sites and blogs, but I feel like you are truly conscious of your interactions with your son and you are doing such a great job. I hope I remember these little tidbits and pieces of advice when God blesses us with a sprout of our own!

  • Dana

    August 4, 2010 at 9:05 pm Reply

    I am looking at this from a different angle, like, wow, he is so brilliant, he knows that ducks swim!

    OR maybe he has been watching too much Letterman “Will it float?” Keys, No. Duck, YES!

  • Mom of 3

    August 8, 2010 at 10:36 pm Reply

    A parenting tip that may come in handy down the road:
    It seems that when you want to tell Bean to do something you often phrase it as a question, ex. “Can you put your binky in your crib” Are you ready for breakfast/lunch/dinner?€ Are you ready for a bath?€ or Are you ready to brush your teeth?€ As adults we take that to be a statement and not a question, for example you could say to Chris, “Honey, could you bring me a glass of water?” and he’s not going to say no. But a preschooler legitimately hears this as a question and could very well tell you “no”. So when you say, “Are you ready for your bath?” what you really mean is “It’s bathtime!” or “Time to get in the bath!” But given a yes/no question like “Are you ready for your bath?” the 2 or 3 year old Bean my very well give you an answer you’re not looking for. You avoid this problem by stating what you want him to do instead of giving him an unintended choice by asking a question. Just something to think about.

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