The Farewell Binky Tour
Last week Chris and I were at the end of our rope with the whining from Bean. It was constant. It was uncontrollable. It was annoying. And the worst part was that we couldn’t seem to pinpoint what was causing it or how to get a grip on it.
I picked Bean up from daycare last Tuesday and his teacher (who is awesome, by the way – lucky, lucky us for finding TWO wonderful daycares in Bean’s short little life already…) mentions to me that he is whining a lot during the day. I hadn’t even mentioned our little problem to her and I was actually a little embarrassed that he was acting like that in front of other people. I assumed it was just his *special* behavior for Mommy and Daddy.
“You know,” she said. “He seems to be whining a lot until we give him his binky and then he’s okay. Makes me wonder if maybe you’ve thought about taking the binky away yet?”
Ahhhh, yes… The binky.
I tried taking the binky away from Bean last year and for a few days it was awful, but then it wasn’t so bad. Though, full confession, we were still giving it to him at night to help him sleep. A few weeks later though we moved from Connecticut to Florida and I worried that all that change might be unsettling to Bean and so I gave the binky back to help soothe him. I don’t know if that was the right choice or not, but I don’t regret it. There was a lot going on and if his binky is what Bean wanted to help him sleep better in a new place or to help him chill out in a new house, well then I’m glad he had that.
I’m the mom. I can make that command decision if I want to.
But the problem after that was that Chris and I misused the binky. Not Bean. In the past six months that we have been here, we’ve ALL become a little too dependent on the binky. First it was just using the binky to help him sleep. Then it became using the binky whenever he was tired. Then it became using the binky whenever he was fussy. And before we knew it, the binky was always around. And, to be honest with you, I just didn’t have any motivation to get rid of it. It drove me crazy that he had it in all his pictures and that he carried it around like a toy, but I still hadn’t become motivated enough to kick the habit.
So, when his teacher suggested that maybe if there wasn’t a binky at the end of every whining session, that whining might slow down a bit, I kicked myself in the rear for not having taken action sooner. I started paying attention then to the whining and the binky and – whaddyaknow? – every time he whined and whined and whined, it ended with us giving him his binky, whether that’s what he was whining for or not.
We’ve decided that this coming weekend will be THE WEEKEND. Friday night, we are taking the binky away cold turkey – even for bedtime. We’re going to snip the nipple and let Bean Man throw it away on his own because it is “broken,” and then that will be it. We’re preparing this week by drastically reducing how much action that binky sees, too. Now, he’s only getting it at nap and bedtime and I can already see a difference in the whining levels around our house. When he whines and whines and asks for a binky, I just tell him, “You don’t need a binky! You’re a big boy!” and he whines a little more, but then he goes on and finds something else to do.
I’m a little nervous about this weekend, but actually really excited, too. It’ll be good for Bean. And good for us. And, hopefully, it will help with this little whining phase we seem to be in.
At least, Bean better hope it helps. Otherwise, Bean may find himself living in our backyard.
28 Comments
Lori at I Can Grow People
Katie, we are kind of in the same boat over here. We were on the Binky Freedom Trail–until we moved. Now we have started all over again. P doesn’t use it at daycare, but he has the pacifier at home for naptime and bedtime. And when he gets whiny when we are stuck in Pittsburgh traffic. And when we are out shopping and he gets cranky/wants out of the cart…it’s such an easy fix, sometimes, ya know? Like today–we are going to his 18 month check up and I can’t imagine Oryer getting shots without his binky to soothe him afterwards.
Ugh, parenthood is hard.
Jamie
His crooked little smile and those baby blue eyes in the last picture pretty much make me melt. I dont have kids so that’s as much as i can offer 🙂
Casey
Best of luck this weekend! Be strong )
Julie S.
We are kind of in the same boat. Brayden gets his bink at nap times and bed times. When he is cutting teeth though? He LOVES his bink. Always has it in his mouth, chewing on it constantly. Ugh.
mom of two
hopefully he doesn’t find his thumb.. my 2 1/2 year-old is still a thumb sucker… although we can’t really take away her thumb… she might need it later in life.
Kelly H.
My son kept his at bedtime until 3. He needed the comfort of sucking until about that time. Taking it away at 3 was a breeze. However, the binky never saw the light of day after about 18 mos. Good luck this weekend!
Michelle
Oh girl- I’m in the thumb boat right now. Henry is alllll about the thumb and the doctor says to just not pay attention to it until 4 years old (as in, don’t draw attention to it and it will go away before then…hopefully). While super convenient, it’s in the back of my mind that I’m going to have an 18 year old thumb sucker- scary! Good luck and keep posting about it- super curious as to how it will go. Go Bean, Go!
Jen Morris
It’s tough but you can do it! You will be so happy when you do! I was like you, I hated seeing it in all the pictures and I was certain our girl would be 27, getting married and have a pacifier in her mouth. I couldn’t bear wedding pictures like that so we took it away cold turkey too! Good luck!
Jen C
I know nothing about this yet (still cooking our little guy) but I wish you tons of luck in trying to do this while you’re sick and prego.
Sarah C.H.
I think the real lesson is to move really close to orlando so that I… I mean my future children can go to Disney World alllllll the time. Haha. Great post. Grandparents rock and Bean seems to have amazing ones.
Jen
There must be something in the air right now regarding pacifiers. My friends and I were just having a conservation this morning about getting rid of the plugs(that is what we call pacifiers in our house!). After reading this post I am realizing that we use the plug as a crutch as much as my 2 year does.
You are much braver then I am…I dont think we are ready to fight that battle yet! Good luck…maybe hearing your story will help to get the our plug battle started.
Tressa
Be tough Mom and Dad!! You all three can do it….together!!
El
I have a friend who dealt with gettting rid of the binky the way you are planning to. She had her daughter say goodbye to and throw away the binky herself. It was a couple of days of torture, but then smooth sailing. I wish I could do the same, but my little guy would never take a binky, just his thumb. He doesn’t suck his thumb as much as he used to, but you can definitely tell when he is tired or fussy b/c the thumb goes straight in. It would be nice if you could go cold turkey on a thumb. 🙂
Leah
The broken binky sounds like a good plan. A friend of mine had her son give his to Elmo when they went to a show one night. He got something in return…a big boy cup I think? He asked for the binky for about a year but she would remind him he gave it away. To which he responded “Elmo”. Apparently Elmo needed it more. Sounds like the trick is making it their decision or making them a part of getting rid of it. Goodluck! I’ll be there sometime in the next year or two.
Kate
Good luck MC family. Keep us updated on how it goes because we’re thinking about getting rid of the paci soon too. I just REALLY don’t want to buy the 18 month pacis!
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
Good luck. It would be hard to resist that little guy – especially if he was miserable and determined!
Gina B.
I think we’re heading that way. Currently we’re already at bedtime and nap time only, but my husband is weak and if he’s got Eva alone, it’s binky whenever she whines. And she knows it. She doesn’t even get it for naps at the sitter, so I know it can be done, but I’ve been weak…
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Chanon
Mine is 13 months and we’ve started saying “bye bye” to his binky in the AM after he wakes up from his nap. He doesn’t see it again until bedtime and with him saying “bye bye” it does help him realize I’m not taking it away from him. I hope him throwing it away works for you guys and you have a smooth weekend!
Jenn
Wow, you’ve got lots of comments already, but its always nice to hear more stories I reckon!
We had the exact same problem with Daisy a few months ago. One day I just got really mad with it and snipped the tip on a whim. It was great! she whined a bit, then walked round the rest of the day with her finger in the hole I cut, giggling (cos apparently its really funny to wear a binky on your finger). Then stopped asking for it. We still let her have it at night time, cos she goes to sleep so well with it, but before she gets up it has to be put back in her bed, so it doesn’t come into the living area.
Good luck, the method worked great with us, hope it works for you too!
Alaina
Best of luck to you guys! I know my sister had that same problem with her little girl, and they actually put a basket outside her door and left the binkys out there for the binky fairy…they were gone in the morning, and a big girl gift was left in its place. Not sure if that meant she never wanted again after then, but it was the way they thought to get rid of all of them at once…
Betty
Good luck! For now, the passy is our saving grace right before feeding time, but since Levi’s only 6 weeks old, no worries yet 😉 But a lot of people at my church did it like you, just snipped the end, and someone did the passy fairy someone else commented about. I hope it works and after this weekend your house is whine-less!
Lissa
AWWWW…i well remember the binky days (we had Mams). We finally had success by having our daughter/s put the binkys (and I am so ashamed to admit that the younger one had an entire bowl of them) in a bowl by the fireplace. The Mam elves came and took them….to give them to brand new babies. Thoughtful Mam elf left a toy and a little piece of Candy….It really made the transition to being a big girl easier because you’re not just taking something away, but replacing it with something new. Good luck
Amy
Hmmm…but my son is whining constantly and doesn’t have a binky! Was hoping you had some kind of secret solution- like, bathe them in goats milk every night for an hour to cure whininess. Darn.
Ella
The way we got our son to stop using his binky was to get him to put it in the bin ( he had chewed of the ends of all of them)We told him they were broken so needed to go in the bin. It worked! He was 2 at the time and always had one in his mouth and at least one in his hand! Goodluck with it though:)
Tina @ Faith Fitness Fun
Hi! I just came across your blog and really like it. I have a little girl who just turned 2 today and I love finding blogs of other mothers I can relate to. I hope this weekend goes smoothly for you!!!
Kat @ Living Like the Kings
IDK what’s up but my silly rss feeder guy didn’t show me any new posts from you until today! So I’m catching up. Poor Bean man. Cutting out the binky must be hard. But I bet he’ll be happy in the long run
Amber
Fun reading the strings. My son was so attached to his pacifier that it started to become a real problem. We could not go anywhere without making sure that we had a pacifier in hand. My friend absolutely raved about the bye bye binky method so we decided to give it a try (she found it at http://www.bye-bye-binky.com ). All I can say is WOW, worked beautifully for my son with no tantrums, not even one! Super easy and four days later he had no interest in his binky. We really were amazed… highly recommended… Amber