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An Adult Conversation
Me: Do you like the name Cooper? Chris: Do you like the name Penis? Clearly, we are ready to raise a child.
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The Name Game
Everyone wants to know if this bambino in the belly is a boy or a girl. We won’t know until around Christmas. What a bummer. But I have my thoughts…
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You Must Have Me Confused For a Grown Up
I was under the impression that I wouldn’t be required to do any grown up things until I actually had the baby. I was under the impression that this 9-month period was…
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Strategic Fatherhood
Me: Do you want a girl or a boy? Chris: (thinks for a minute) A girl. Me: Really?!?! That’s so…
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You Need Me! You Really Need Me!
As I get older, I seem to get less useful. Chris does my heavy lifting. I sometimes feel expendable at work. I could be wrapped in bacon and my dogs wouldn’t take a…
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Deli Counter Encounters
Now, I’m not a sissy girl. I might be prissy. I might prefer air conditioning. And I will always, always paint my toenails. But I’m not a sissy. …
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How NASCAR Drivers Are Born
The other day I was out in the backyard with the dogs. Across the street, our neighbor’s car was parked in their driveway, but the windshield wipers were flying, the hazard lights were…
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Mini Bar Maddness
Sometimes when I do something that my parents would never let me do when I was a kid, I giggle to myself. You know, like when I buy sugared cereal or a candy…
