The Company You Keep
In college, I met my best friend, Emily. She hired me at the law firm where we ended up working together all four years of school. What I love about Emily (one of many things, actually) is that we lead very different lives. We always have. She dated around in college and I was talking about marrying my high school sweetheart. She’s always been very health conscious and I prefer to deep fry my Twinkies. She is spiritual and earthy and embraces a little from most religions and I’m Methodist through and through. She’s bold and brave and moves to big, scary cities like Chicago, New York, and LA all by herself and I won’t go anywhere without Chris by my side and Tums in my pocket. She is chic and trendy and cool without trying and I look like…well…like a mom.
(Don’t judge these pictures. They are from when I was pregnant with Bean last year, which explains why I look like a giant marshmallow. Pregnant women should avoid wearing white.)
What I love about our differences though is that even though we live completely different lives, we just understand each other. We get each other. We can spend hours explaining something or we can sit in silence and still understand. I love that about Emily.
That and the fact that we can both make each other laugh enough to shoot milk out of our noses.
Seriously.
When I lived in Connecticut, Emily lived in New York for a couple years. And it was wonderful. We would get together once a month or so for lunch or brunch or an afternoon of shopping. She’d come spend the weekend with us in the suburbs and I’d come to the city with her and pretend to be half as cool as she so effortlessly was. And then just before I had Bean, she decided it was time for a change (as she is prone to do) and she up and moved away all by herself to LA where she became a vegan and started taking yoga classes.
And my heart ached with missing her so much. Though we continued our friendship through text messages and phone calls and email after email. She sent me pictures of tanned, lean LA men she dated and I sent her pictures of Bean. And, once again, our friendship continued on though our lives were in very different places.
It has been two years since I’ve seen Emily. And I know to some people that seems crazy to have gone that long. But Emily’s not the kind of person you have to see to know she’s there for you and so it doesn’t really seem like it’s been that long. But when she pulled into my driveway today and I came running across my front yard to hug her skinny, tiny neck, it felt like a hug I’d waited two years to get.
Emily and I spent all day together. We talked over a long, leisurely lunch where she gently and kindly asked me about my health and about what I’m going through right now and she listened as only a best friend could. And though we didn’t solve anything, what I loved about our conversation was that she wasn’t there to solve the problem. She was there to understand it and to support me in it. And I didn’t feel like I had to wrap everything up in a red bow and tie up all the loose ends for her. She simply took it all in, gave me a hug, and told me how brave I was.
Emily. The most fearless person I know told me how brave I was. And because she said it, I believed it.
And as if all of that wasn’t good enough for my soul, Emily got to meet Bean for the first time. After lunch, we went to his daycare and picked him up together and then came back to my house so the two of them could get to know each other. There’s just something special about seeing the person who held your hair back after long nights of rum in college playing on the floor with your son. It melts your heart and fills you with happiness.
And it makes you feel very old.
I have no pictures of our day together. Not one. I even specifically thought to myself at several points, “Go get your camera! You’re missing it!” But stopping to take the picture would have been missing it. And I wasn’t about to miss one minute of our time together. Friends are a dime a dozen. Good friends are rare and really hard to find. But great friends that make you feel better about yourself simply because they are your friend? Well, those friends are once in a lifetime. I’m so glad that Emily is mine.
25 Comments
Heather in ND
This is awesome!! Best friends are the greatest!!!
Casper
So glad you had a good visit! Good friends are incredibly important!!
Jaclyn
I LOVE this. Love love love. In college I did an internship in Disney World, where I met some of THE absolute best people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Naturally none of us actually lived anywhere near each other in real life (sad face) BUT those friends are exactly the kind of friend you describe in Emily. I’ve been lucky to see a few of them 4 or 5 times in the 3 years since the program, but there are a couple that I’ve only seen once (recently actually) and others not at all — and yet I feel like we are still super close and when we actually see each other it’s like it’s been no time at all!
That was a rambly way of saying thanks for sharing 🙂
Ashley
This might sound funny, but I have been praying for a LONG time that God would bless me with a friend like you have just described! I am such a girly girl, but have always been the type that would rather hang out with the guys because of how SIMPLE and drama-less they all are! Hopefully my prayers will soon be answered because I long to have a friend like Emily. Amen to good friends being hard to find, but SO GLAD you have found yours!!
Alaina
Those are THE best kinds of friends to have. I’m glad she could be there for you and bring you out of the hole for at least one day!
SoCal Mama
Ahh, you’re blessed to have an Emily. She sounds like an awesome friend!!!
Sarah H.
Wonderful post Katie! And welcome back to the East Coast Emily! Good friends warm the heart and soul, even when they’re not your own–but just knowing other people have those wonderful relationships is just awesome!
Ashley
This is so great. Your best friend is someone who knows you, and even after a separation can pick up where you left off. So glad you got to see her. It’s good for the soul. 🙂
Staci
This brings to mind a couple of very important women in my life who I’m equally different from but love unconditionally nonetheless. Thanks for the happy thoughts!
I’m so glad you had your much-needed girl time.
Lindsay (YoungMarriedMom)
This gets me so excited: I’m about to visit with a friend I haven’t seen in six years–and we’ve both gotten married and we’ve had three kids between us since–and it’s the same kind of thing where we can pick up like no time has passed. Another wonderful thing to be thankful for this week!
Katie M
Girlfriends are the best! Sometimes they just GET you more than a husband does. I’m so thankful for mine!
Alison
I think it’s rare to find such a wonderful friend as this, and what a blessing when we do! My childhood best friend is in town for the holiday and I get to spend the day with her (sans the six children we have between us!), and I’m so looking forward to it!
Layne
It’s funny because you described so perfectly the relationship I have with a couple of (very special) girlfriends. We don’t have to see each other or talk every day. Or ever month or every year. But we love each other and are there for each other and when we DO get together, it’s like we pick up right were we left off. I feel so lucky to have these girlfriends in my life even though they live all over the country. Your post makes me want to call them up right now!
Jenny J. @ Fondant Is Gross
Those kinds of friends are the best! I am so glad that she was able to be there for you when you needed her. I hope you get to see her more often, soon!
Nikki
Great post! I have this type of relationship with my bestfriend from high school. We can not see each other for over a year, but as soon as we are together, we pick up like there was no time apart. I get to see her in a couple of weeks, and I couldn’t be more excited!
Tressa
Sweet day! Sweet Friend! Just in time for a semi-early birthday present for you!!! 😉
Glad you have Emily too!!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you, Chris and Beanie!!
Katy's Neverending Story
How sweet! It is great to have those friendships that just pick up right where you left off! So glad you got to spend time with Emily!
Megan (Best of Fates)
Can I go off topic and discuss how adorable those yellow shoes are?
No?
Sorry about that.
Holli
I’ve never cried over a blog post, but this one did me in. “it done did me in..”. I have a friend that I’ve had since high school (I’m 27..almost 28 *gasp*) and she lives near Dallas and I live near Tulsa, so we don’t see much of each other, but when we do it’s like we see each other everyday. We can just pick up where we left off and I love that!! Thank you for sharing this..it warmed my heart and worked the ol’ tear ducts loose.
Julie
I’ve only recently begun to follow your blog, so I’m still getting to know you. And yet, I find myself crying at the end of your post, because friends like Emily are one in a million. I’m glad you and I are lucky enough to have a friend like Emily!
Suzanne
Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel better to know that it’s not just me who is far away from her best friends. I’ve been blessed with a few and my sisters. To say that I’m grateful is an understatement.
Anne
This is one of my favorite posts ever. I’ve never commented, but this one was really special. Like some of the other commenters, I’m a little teary, too, after reading this.
Jordy
i find that my times spent with the greatest of friends DON’T get captured by a camera because that is the last thing on my mind that i want to spend time doing.
Jess
This actually made me tear up a bit thinking about my ‘Emily’…my pen pal ( as we call each other) Kristin and I are the same way- met in college and became best friends and I miss her so much since she lives in LA and I live in Pennsylvania. It can be rough having a long distance best friend- but the reunions are the best things ever.
Megan @ Red Dirt and Crazy
Okay…I did not come here to get all teary and leave homesick to spend time with my friends! It actually was to find the post about those little sippy cup name thingys that you posted about awhile back and I couldn’t come and not get caught up on things! But now I’m crying!!!!
I’m so glad you have a friend like that. I do too and Lord knows I couldn’t live without them!!
🙂
Megan