The Best Years

Last week I posted this picture in my post about our Thanksgiving…

…and someone commented that they loved my plates. Which made me laugh hysterically for about 20 minutes. And then I called a girlfriend who knew the backstory about those plates and we laughed for another 20 minutes. And anything that makes me laugh for almost an hour is worth a blog post. So, without further adieu, I give you…

“AN UPSET IN THE HARMONY OF MY LIFE” by Katie Brown

Once upon a time, an engaged couple stood in the dishes aisle at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and argued until they almost called off the wedding. He could not imagine living with anything other than solid white plates. She could not imagine living with solid white plates. And so, she did something that would forever alter her future.

She agreed to the solid white plates.

Actually, it was these exact plates:

Chris and I have had them for almost ten years. Solid. White. Plates. And I love them. They are versatile, simple, sturdy plates. Yay, plates.

But, truthfully, for ten years, my heart has broken a little each time I have had to pour my cereal into the solid white plates. I know that simple and white is very IN right now, but I just like color. I like the warmth of color. And the cold of those solid, white plates has taken something out of my soul.

MY SOUL, PEOPLE.

So, a few months ago, when my mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I secretly chose a new set of dishes. COLORFUL dishes with a PATTERN on them! Last week on my birthday, while Chris was at work, I opened the box of these beautiful, detailed, very UN-white dishes, and my soul celebrated.

But how to get them past my husband?

Well, clearly, there was just one option. While he was at work, I boxed up our solid white dishes from our cabinets and replaced them with my new colorful, patterned dishes. And then, I waited for all hell to break loose.

Chris came home from work that day happy and chipper. And as he stood in the kitchen with me while I cooked dinner, he absent-mindedly reached into the cabinets for a plate while he told me about his day.

And then he froze in midsentence, staring at the plate in his hands. Slowly, every emotion he felt registered on his face:

Confusion
Denial
Anger
Sadness

“WHAT ARE THESE?” he screeched, while fighting to keep his emotions in check.

“Those are our new dishes,” I replied, while continuing to cook.

“They are… (gulp) …bright.”

“Oh? Are they?” I said.

Now, here’s the thing. When we were newlyweds, I would never have DREAMED of replacing a household good without talking to Chris about it. How could I fathom such a treacherous, selfish act? Were they not Chris’s plates, too?!?! How dare I!!! And so Chris and I would have talked about new plates, would have scoured the internet for the perfect plates that complimented our newly stocked home and represented our relationship with style and functionality.

When we had been married for four or five years, I would have bought the plates myself, paraded them into the kitchen, and then dared Chris to pick a fight with me about it. I cooked. The kitchen was my area. No discussion. End of story. Then, Chris would have pitched a fit and made me feel terrible for making such an important decision without him. And we would have eaten off of paper plates for days without speaking to each other.

But we’ve been married for nine and a half years now. We’ve learned a thing or two. I’ve learned that Chris is so set in his ways that if I never pushed him to try something new, he’d become a recluse. And he has learned that some things are just not worth arguing about. And so, I replaced our dishes and he was horrified and then he decided that life would go on and so… life went on.

“I don’t know about these, Mom,” he said to me, but he kissed me on the cheek and playfully tugged my ponytail before walking out of the kitchen to go play with the kids.

Being a newlywed was fun. Those years when our babies were little were fun (if not a bit snippy…). But these years now? The ones where we have somehow managed to dance this beautiful dance of marriage while working and raising children and maintaining our sanity? These years are the best.