You Are What You Blog

Yesterday I spent some time Googling on how to have a well-read, successful blog. After the whole “I’m-only-popular-because-of-Godzilla” phase, I decided it was time to dedicate some effort into making my blog more satisfying to my devoted fans…all two of them. The one thing that every website said was not to talk too much about yourself, but instead focus on issues that other people have a vested interest in. This creates lots of traffic on your website. Great!

Today, let’s talk about Global Warming. Chris and I are both against it.

(crickets, crickets, crickets)

Well that was exciting.

I don’t care what those websites say. I blog about things that are interesting to ME – like dogs, family, marriage, and minibars. I can’t help it. I’m a selfish blogger. Maybe I need a hobby so that I have something to focus on. I read lots of blogs that have themes – interior design (I like the pictures), raising children (its like birth control), technology (those were for school). Maybe my blog needs a theme. But to be honest, I don’t have any hobbies that I can specifically point to and say, “This is what I enjoy doing” or “This is what I’m good at,” unless you count painting my toe nails, which I enjoy doing AND I’m good at.

The other day I had a job interview and the interviewer actually asked me why my extracurricular activities on my resume were so sporatic. I responded that I am interested in “a wide variety of activities to keep myself engaged and educated.” I said this because I figured, “I have the attention span of a gnat” probably wouldn’t get me hired. A few months ago, I decided that sewing would be my new hobby. I wanted to start making patchwork quilts while I watched television at night – great idea, right? I called my Mom to tell her I wanted a sewing machine for my birthday and she said no. Flat out, no discussion or reason given, no. “Why not?” I whined. “Because you don’t have the patience for that. How about a nice perfume?” Its tragic. My own mother doesn’t think I’m dedicated enough to have a hobby.

Then I thought about my favorite blog of all times, Pioneer Woman. The Pioneer Woman is a city girl who married a cowboy, moved to a ranch, and now spends her days documenting their farm life on her blog. Its hysterical, but when I think about it, its all just about her. She doesn’t talk about global warming. Its just a daily account of her life. So if she has millions of loyal fans, then I should be able to just talk about my life, too. I think the major difference here is that her daily vocabulary includes words like cowboy, wrangling, and working calves. All interesting. My daily vocabulary includes laundry, dirty husband, and smelly dogs. Not interesting.

So, I guess I’m out of luck. Actually, my readers…all two of them…are out of luck. I’m uninterested in current global crisis. I’m hobby-less. And my life revolves around my house, husband, and hounds.

But you know what? I don’t really care. If I got tangled up in my wrap dress as I tried to get dressed this morning (which I did) and want to blog about it (which I will), then dadgummit I will! It’s my life! It’s my blog! It’s my readers…all two of them! As Popeye would say, “I yam what I yam!”