I Try Not to Rant, But…

Normally, I try not to use this blog to make unproductive rants about my husband or family.  True, I complain a fair bit, but I hope readers can see through that and know deep down how much I love my husband and my family.  If I blog about issues or fights we have had, I try not to do so until I have some kind of nugget of wisdom I have learned about the situation.  After all, if we aren’t learning something, then we are just wasting our time. Having…

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Part One: Remembering the “We”

Chris and I are going through a rough patch right now.  I’m breaking this post up into a couple separate posts (maybe more?) because it’s easier for me to explain in small chunks.  Thanks for hanging in there while I tell this story and while WE work hard to get ourselves out of the ditch. Chris and I are just not jiving these days.  Actually, if I’m honest, it’s been for a lot of days.  Like a few months.  We’ve blamed a spattering of things – kids, money, jobs, etc.…

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Hooray for Me!

I try to keep my blog posts about my marriage neutral so that readers can’t point blame.  But I can’t help it tonight.  I’m pointing blame directly at my husband.  Because he was a jackass tonight and because I think I should get a medal for not doing any of the following: 1)  Kicking him in the shins 2)  Stuffing my lemon chicken up his… 3)  Leaving him with the kids while I walked out and went shopping at Target But I didn’t do any of those things.  Instead, I…

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Confessions About Fighting

I’m sure every marriage is different in their fighting style. Sometimes I hear girlfriend’s talk about fights they have had with their husbands, and I think, “Holy cow, that can’t be healthy!” But I know that when they hear stories about some of mine and Chris’s fights, they probably think the same thing. We all fight differently, and for different reasons. But here are a few confessions about fights in my marriage: 1. Sometimes we go to bed angry. Actually, we USUALLY go to bed angry if we’ve had a…

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Bringing Your Work Home

One of the things that came out of the Big Fight of 2013 is the realization that Chris and I had stopped sharing small things about our days with each other. Either because we were afraid it would lead to some kid of argument over something silly or because we just didn’t feel like talking to the other person, we would ask, “How was your day?” and each of us would respond, “It was fine.” And that was about it. For, like, two months. We’re really trying to make an…

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Rough Patch

Chris and I are coming out of rough patch that we’ve been battling for a couple months. Those are never any fun to be in, but they are even LESS fun to come out of because in order to get out of a rough patch, you have to speak to each other. Without fighting. And you have to agree. Without holding resentment. And, in my experience, being in a rough patch by definition means I don’t really want to get along with my husband, much less AGREE with him on…

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How to Pick Your Battles

I realized the other day that it had been a while since Chris and I had a good knock down, drag out fight. Which is saying something because we are smack dab in the middle of our 7th year of marriage, and isn’t that supposed to be the big one? The seven year itch one? The one that every young couple dreads? The seventh year. (insert high pitched, horror movie scream here) But we are in the middle of Year Seven, and I would say that this year we have…

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Pouting, Fighting and Apologies

So, Chris and I have been fighting for two days.  But we only just ACTUALLY spoke about it tonight.  And by spoke, I mean he said he was mad, I got mad for him being mad, we slammed some doors, then went to Bean’s Christmas concert at school, smiled with the other parents like everything was fine, came home and put the kids to bed together, and then sat on opposite ends of the couch pouting until bedtime. All very mature, highly functioning stuff. I have two versions of the…

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You Get What You Need

Since we bought our house last year, I have been begging Chris to paint the outside of it. It’s this terrible peach color. Like, bridesmaids dress peach. And it has burgundy trim. It is the definition of an eye sore. We have worked on the yard and it looks much better than when we first moved it, and that has helped the curb appeal a bit. But until it is painted, I will continue to think of our house as “our big ol’ ugly house.” Chris had three excuses for…

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Just Wait and See…

Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl who loved each other at a very young age. They loved each other so much that the boy asked the girl to be his wife, and she said yes. Even though neither of them knew the first thing about being a husband or a wife. “They’re too young!” the townspeople cried. “It’s too hard to be married when you’re too young!” But the boy and the girl just held hands and walked down the aisle like stupid, young people…

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