I try to keep my blog posts about my marriage neutral so that readers can’t point blame. But I can’t help it tonight. I’m pointing blame directly at my husband. Because he was a jackass tonight and because I think I should get a medal for not doing any of the following:
1) Kicking him in the shins
2) Stuffing my lemon chicken up his…
3) Leaving him with the kids while I walked out and went shopping at Target
But I didn’t do any of those things. Instead, I am writing this blog post. And I already feel better.
Tonight I came home from work really late, so I hurried and got dinner in the oven because I was baking chicken and I knew it would need a while and the kids were hungry. I made lemon chicken. AND IT WAS DELICIOUS, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.
So, Chris comes home about 20 minutes after I get home with the kids. From the minute he walked in the door, he was critical. He was just in one of those moods. Everything I said was not the right answer and was immediately contradicted or corrected. Need some examples? Let me give you a few:
Exhibit A: Bean has homework tonight. He has to complete a worksheet about how many of various body parts are in our house. This will require him to count all of our eyes, noses, toes, etc.. So I casually throw out there as I’m laying the table for dinner and Chris is sorting through the mail, “Bean needs to complete that worksheet during dinner so that he can see everyone at one time and count all the body parts up.” To which Chris responds, “He shouldn’t have homework at the table. He can do it at bedtime.”
Exhibit B: I emptied the dishwasher while I was waiting for dinner to bake. Chris was standing there – still checking the mail 15 minutes later, for the record – and so I say conversationally, “I goofed up and bought the generic dish detergent this time and it’s leaving our dishes so cloudy.” To which Chris responds, “It’s not the detergent. It’s that we ran out of JetDry.”
Exhibit C: Dinner wasn’t baking as quickly as it should have, and so I checked the oven temperature and it had dropped almost 50 degrees. This was the second time in a week it has done that, so I mention, “This oven isn’t keeping it’s heat lately. I wonder if we need to call for service?” To which Chris responds, “You just have it on the wrong setting.” (I didn’t.)
None of these are big things. In fact, I’m sure conversations like this happen a hundred times a day. But these were just a few of the long string of comments I got from Chris one right after the other tonight, and I was getting really tired of it.
So, after an hour of this, he says something else critical and I laughingly say, “Why don’t you boss me around a little bit more tonight?”
And he throws his hands in the air and says, “I’m not hungry,” and storms out of the kitchen. I followed him into the living room to see what was going on and he says, “You overreact about everything!”
That’s when I got mad. I had held my tongue all evening. I made one comment, and it was just a lighthearted joke. Yet, he can STORM OUT, and I’M the one who overreacts?
So, then I told him he was like being married to a high school girl.
(Yeah, so… My bad on that one. I always tend to take things just a bit too far.)
It was dinnertime, so we sucked it up to sit down at the table with the kids for dinner. Which was a nightmare because neither of my kids are eating dinner lately. After about half an hour of Chris saying nothing to them and me hassling them all through the meal, Chris finally says, “Katie, the food is so bitter because of the lemon. It’s not fair to force them to eat that.”
I’m going to give you a minute to think about that comment and ponder what possible responses I should have had.
My response? I slammed my fork down, left the kitchen, and sat down to write this blog post. In fact, as I type, I hear Chris trying to get the kids to eat while trying to clean the kitchen all by himself. And you know what? I don’t feel bad at all.
Sometimes marriage is about being fair. It’s good to respect the differences between you and your spouse. And marriage is about supporting each other even when you’ve had bad days. And I suppose it’s also about unconditional love and all that stuff, too. Blah, blah, blah.
But sometimes I think marriage is about celebrating the fact that you didn’t kill your spouse that day.
And if that’s the case, then hooray for me!