I Got Slapped.
Yesterday I messed up. This is not the first time I have been down this road, trust me, and since this IS confessions of a young married couple, I felt the need to post about it because fights in a relationship are real. Fights happen and they are totally normal. In fact (I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say this) if you are in a relationship and you don’t fight from time to time, your not in a healthy relationship. Sorry if you don’t agree, but it’s the truth.
The past few days Kate has been so excited about our anniversary. Looking back she brought it up a few times throughout the week to remind me, she even wrote a really sweet post about it to me. Unfortunately, I did nothing to celebrate the occasion, and now I am eating dinner alone. Now I’m definitely NOT the first person to make this mistake (and I won’t be the last). But I might be the first to say not only did I deserve that slap but I needed it to snap me out of it.
I think I was getting lost in the land of, what the hell is happening to our life. I was getting so concerned with what was happening and where we were going and how different it would be after the bean gets here. I was constantly worrying about Kate and if she was working too much, staying off her feet enough, etc. etc. etc. and that slap snapped me out of it.
I’m not going to give you the play-by-play, cause that’s our business. But I can’t stress enough to everyone out there that it is so important in times like these, to remember why you are in this to begin with. I lost sight of the best thing that has ever happened to me Kate. I forgot that, yes while all of that stuff I was worried about absolutely matters, those are all things that I should be talking to her about. We are in this together, and it’s OUR relationship that makes all of this even possible.
Now, I’m definitely not an expert on the topic, and I’m not pretending to be. But I do feel like me and Kate have been through our share of ups and downs in the last ten years to at least have an educated guess about the situation. When you find your relationship in a place like this, and you get to the point where your yelling and screaming at each other one night; after the dust has settled, take a step back and remember what its all about. Things might be changing and big things could be on the horizon, but remember that your in this together. Relationships are tough! And it doesn’t matter if you have been together for 10 days, 10 years, or 100 years. Its okay to fight and its okay to be wrong. But you have to own up to your actions. You know you messed up, so admit it, apologize for it, and find ways to tell that person that you love them.
– Chris
10 Comments
Lori
Chris, you are a brave guy for writing that post.
mconfessions
He is brave. And fortunately he’s cute, too, so I can’t stay mad at him for too long… This has saved his life on occasion.
~ Katie
Jennifer
I highly admire the fact that you admit to being wrong. And were courageous enough to write about it. I wish my dh would do that.
Its true if you don’t fight then you’re not in a healthy relationship. It’s much better to fight and work though it than to keep it to yourself. Of course it would be better if everyone did the right thing all the time but thats not how life works. 🙂
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Hi, good post. I have been pondering this issue,so thanks for posting. I’ll certainly be coming back to your site.
Kelly
How very brave of you Chris!
Hilary
Kate, you have a good man. And Chris, for two years in a row now, I have ruined my husband’s birthday by crying uncontrollably. Last year, our baby was one week old and my mother was getting ready to go home and I couldn’t bear the thought of her leaving me alone with a newborn and burst into tears at my husband’s birthday dinner. This year, I had the best intentions and even made him a special surprise birthday cake. Before I could give him the cake, my mom called to let me know she had our 18 year old dog, Emily, put to sleep. I showed my husband the cake and then once again, burst into tears. Well, they say third time’s the charm so he’s optimistic for next year . . . no one’s perfect.
Era
Beautifully said. Here is a similar experience that my husband and I shared. I think you both will enjoy it and maybe even share a laugh or two.
http://erasundar.wordpress.com/2009/04/22/he-said/
It’s a three part post with a happy ending.
Emily C
It’s refreshing to see a man’s point of view on relationships. I’ve been married long enough to know that it’s not always going to be a bed of roses but when you love someone you find a way to work out your differences. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
browneyednerd
You are almost as good a writer as Katie.
Michelle
I will be sending this to every couple I know. Words of wisdom and comfort. Its nice to know we’re not alone in the world of relationships.