Being a Big Kid
I try to keep this blog upbeat. If I had to classify it, I’d hope that it could be considered a humor blog. One of my main goals in writing is to show that sometimes life is sticky, yes. But its always a fun ride. And 99% of the time, I feel like I get close to that goal.
But then there is that 1%. Those times when life hands you situations that just aren’t funny and certainly aren’t fun. Chris and I are in one of those situations right now. I’m not going to go into a whole lot of detail because the issues and problems that we are working through involve people outside of me and Chris. As much as I share about our lives, its really not my place to share information about other people’s lives. But the gist is that Chris’ family is having a rough time right now. And if we were honest, I think we’d all admit that they’ve been having a rough time for a couple years now.
Families are funny creatures, aren’t they? God gives them to you and you’re left to find some way to get along with them for your entire life. And its only natural that sometimes some families go through situations that strain their relationships. Maybe its a fight. Maybe its an illness. Maybe its a change. Maybe its a little of all of those. Or none of those, for that matter. But every now and then all families come to crossroads.
Chris’ family came to those crossroads this week.
His dad was hospitalized for longtime health issues that have finally caught up with him. It has been really scary and stressful. He was in ICU for a couple of days, but he has been moved back to a regular room at the hospital tonight and we are hoping that this is the beginning of him coming back to normal.
Medical scares have a way of bringing people together when is seems like nothing else would have been able to do it. Its awful that this is what it has taken to pull his family together again, but I am so glad to see healing – both physically and emotionally – finally start to take place.
In some marriages, the spouse considers themselves part of their partner’s family. In our house, I do consider myself part of Chris’ family. But there are times when only blood can fix something and so this week my role has been to support Chris while he works through this difficult time with his family. Its hard to sit on the sidelines and watch Chris hurt. He comes from a family where communication is not exactly open and I come from a family where you can’t get us to shut up. So, its only natural that I just want to pick up the phone and tell everyone what they should be doing. But Chris knows his family and he knows how to talk to them. And I have to tell you that I have seen him step up this week in ways that I’ve never seen him step up before.
I think I’ve seen him as an adult for the first time this week. I’ve seen him take the lead in mending relationships within his family. I’ve seen him speak out and call situations for what they truly are. I’ve seen him cut through the crap and get right to the heart of matters in a clear, concise, mature way that I’ve never seen in him before.
When you’re a young adult and you get around your parents, there is the tendency and habit to revert back to childhood. They still fix you meals. They still make your bed. They still slip a $20 in your pocket as you run out the door. But in these past few days, I’ve seen Chris become the adult in his family. With his dad being sick, he has naturally slipped into the father role and I can’t help but wonder if he’s able to do this better now because he is a father.
Your health is so important. Your family is so important. Your relationship with your children – at any age – is so important. And sometimes it takes a really tough week like this to strip everything else away and leave what is truly important exposed.
I hurt for Chris and his family because they are my family, too. But this week I have seen glimmers of where that family can grow from here and it can only get better. But more than that, this week I’ve seen Chris as a man that I’ve never seen him as before. Strong and calm. Mature and focused. Forgiving and loving.
If this is what its like to watch your high school sweetheart grow up, then I am proud that I married mine.
15 Comments
Hilary
I know how tough family issues can be. I’ve been through my share in my own. These are the times that your marriage is tested for what it truly is. Stay strong – I will say a prayer for you, Chris and your family!
Elisabeth
J and I have similar family situations/backgrounds/setups. Sometimes I find that the best thing I can do is just hold his hand and say “I love you.”
Julia
You guys are in my prayers! No matter what, everything will be ok!
Lori @ I Can Grow People
I am thinking about you guys. If you need anything, let us know.
Rachel
I think you’ve got a good man in Chris. Tough times have a way of bringing out the best or the worst in peoples’ characters. Here’s hoping that Chris’s dad gets better and that the other issues can get resolved.
Alexandra
Wow. You really touched me this morning ~ almost to the point of tears. But good tears! 🙂
Stay strong ~ sending prayers to both you and Chris (and Beanie) and Chris’ family!!!
Katy
Oh, this sounds too familiar, but my thoughts and prayers are with Chris and the whole family.
Christina
Beautifuly “spoken.” I am glad that you see the growth in Chris and the MAN he has become. I am sure that he appreciates your support and understanding.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
So sorry for this rough time.
And yeah. Families.
Heather O.
I can relate. I hope that things start to work out. Stay strong for each other. Will keep you in our thoughts and prayers, too.
Liz, JM, and Leo
Hey Katie,
Praying for your family and hope Chris’s Dad is better very soon. Glad he’s out of the ICU. Chris is a good one – and so are you! Glad you two have one another.
~Liz
Tressa
You hit his one right on the head! My family is just like yours, hardly have a secret cause we can’t keep our mouths shut. But other’s seem to not want to step on anybodys toes.
To add more turmoil(than the normal), my sister and I married brothers! My marriage ended in divorce due to his infidelity. Talk about splitting up a family!!
I hope things continue to improve for Chris and his family. I hope you continue to see the MAN in Chris and love him and support him more because of it.
And…I would sure classify your blog as “humor”. I LOVE IT 😉
Jenn
I’m in a quite similar situation here, minus the illness (read: minus the thing that brings the family together)
Jes the Bes
Great post! I unfortunately don’t feel that I am a member of my husband’s family. I don’t understand their communication or lack of. When they do things that hurt Mitchell I have a hard time to sit by and watch. I feel no connection to these people so it is very easy for me to tell where to go and how to get there.
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