The Guts of Blogging
I get asked a lot about how I come up with things to blog about every day. Normally, I don’t have much of a problem finding material, but then there are those other days. Days when I wake up and don’t seem to have a thought in my head. Or days when I wake up and I have so many thoughts in my head that its hard to get them in order so I can write about them. Or then there are the days when I’m tired and maybe a little stressed out and there’s just nothing in me that feels funny or insightful.
Or then there are those days when all of these things combine and I become one big pile of worthless blogging goo.
That would be me today.
I posted to Twitter that I had nothing to blog about and I instantly got comments back saying that I should blog about what happens when I have nothing to blog about. That that information alone was interesting. And while I’m not sure everyone finds my lack of coherent thoughts interesting, this might be a good time to talk about blogging in general. So today, I’m going to answer some of the most common questions that I get about blogging. If you’re a blogger, hopefully it will help you in your own writing. And if you’re just a reader or lurker, maybe it will give you some better insight into how blogging works. Ready? Here we go…
What do you think makes a blog successful?
I get asked this question a lot, usually in emails. A lot of time people want to start a blog with the intention of it becoming a source of income for their family and they want to know right off the bat how to make that happen. I am not sure how other blogs have started, but I didn’t start mine with the intention of making money. Mine started as a way for me to stretch my writing muscles from college. At the time, Chris was working ridiculous hours in graduate school and I needed something to fill my time alone at home. I thought writing would do that for me, so I started a blog. This is only my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt, but some of the best things I read are written by people with no other motive than to just write. I tend to think readers are smarter than a lot of people give them credit to be, and I, personally, feel like if you’re in it for anything other than the simple, pure joy of writing and of sharing with people, your readers are going to sense that and you probably aren’t going to come across as very genuine.
And with blogging, I think you have to re-think what successful is. There are very few bloggers (I can only think of 2) who have managed to create a blog that supports their families. Most bloggers who blog full-time are also writers who publish in other places and their income is made over a variety of ways. Blogging itself is REALLY hard to make money in if you are relying on it as a sole income. And it definitely isn’t as easy as just starting a blog and putting some ads on your site. So, to me, successful blogs are those who measure their success against themselves. If I had more readers in April than I did in March, that’s a successful month for me. If in 2009 I had more pageviews than I did in 2008, that’s a successful year for me. Am I making as much money as my BFF, The Pioneer Woman? Absolutely not! Am I getting as many readers a day as my BFF, The Pioneer Woman? No way, man! But am I making more money than I did last month and do I have more readers than I did last month? Absolutely. So, this is a successful blog.
How can I get more readers?
There are a ton of ways to get more readers for your blog. I get a lot of readers when I comment on other blogs. In fact, for the first year that was how I got almost ALL of my readers. I’d leave a comment with my blog address and hope that people would check out my site. But now that I have a pretty good following, I don’t have to do that so much anymore, which is good because I don’t really have the time to do that anymore.
I think the key to readership is having a good product. If you’re writing well and about topics that interest people, then I think you’re going to get readers. But the goal is not to get readers. The goal is to KEEP readers! You don’t want to have one or two days with spiked traffic. You want steady, loyal readers who are willing to come back every day and who will stick around and read about the blogging process because you have nothing more intelligent to say that day. Those are the readers you want. And you get that crowd by being a good friend! Think of readers as friends. Friends need to know you are there for them day after day, so be consistent in your posting schedule. Friends like knowing what to expect when they are with you, so try to find some type of theme in your writing. Friends want someone who listens to them and who needs their input, so be sure you’re writing in a style that is inclusive and encourages participation and involvement from your readers. Friends don’t want to be lectured or reprimanded or made to feel that you are above them, so try not to lecture or point fingers when you’re blogging when you could instead take the stance that “we’re all in this together!” Remember that your audience is not hits or pageviews, but they are people. And treat them like that. They’ll respect you for it and they’ll keep coming back.
How do you come up with content every day?
This one is tough. I have days, like today, when I just don’t feel like writing. Maybe I don’t have anything to say or I’m in a bad mood and just don’t feel like communicating. When I’m in a REAL funk, I try not to post. Nobody wants to hear me complain if I am not feeling constructive or if there isn’t a bigger picture to keep in mind. I try to keep my complaining in the context of finding a solution as much as possible. So when I don’t have a solution for a problem yet or when I’m just not in the mood to work through anything, I try to stay away from the computer. I feel like my readers have better things to do than just listen to me wallow.
But on days when I just can’t get the creative juices flowing, but I still feel like I have something to contribute, I have two tricks that help. First, I try to take a step back. Maybe I have been focusing too much on small things and have gotten so bogged down trying to come up with something perfect that I have dug myself a hole. If I step back and look at more broad things then usually I can use that to help me hon in on something more intelligent to post about. And if stepping back doesn’t work, then I try to get really close to something. That’s when I post about mundane, stupid things like what I should wear to my sister’s bridal shower. You can tell those stupid, little stories as long as they are not the bulk of your blog, in my opinion. My readers are a lot more willing to listen to petty things when that is the exception and not the rule. So, be sure you have a balance of substance and silliness when you’re writing a blog.
My last trick is to involve my readers. When I don’t have anything to say, you can bet that my readers sure do! So that’s when I turn it over to them! I do a survey or I ask a question or I profile a reader or I showcase a reader’s Etsy shop. I think the biggest misconception in blogging is that people come everyday to hear what YOU have to say. I’m sure I have a lot of readers who like to hear me rant and rave, but the majority of them I believe come because of the community and camaraderie. They come to hear someone else say, “Hey, I’ve been there, too!” and that person doesn’t always have to be me. Hearing that other readers are going through things can be just as inspiring and motivating as coming and listening to the same person everyday.
How do you start blogging?
I started blogging using WordPress because I thought they had pretty blogs. That’s it. No other reason than that. I thought they were pretty. So, I started a blog and it was super easy. When I got up to around 150,000 pageviews a month I decided I had enough of a following to move over to my own domain. I bought MarriageConfessions.com through GoDaddy and on the back end I still use WordPress, but I am now using WordPress.org because it gives me the room to customize more. But for relatively small blogs, you can’t go wrong with something like WordPress.
Why do you blog?
I originally started my blog as I said, to start writing more and to get better at it. Very loosely, I planned to focus on being a young wife. After a few months and as I started to get a little bit bigger, I noticed two things were happening. First, I was getting more comments and feedback on the posts that were the most sincere and honest. Maybe I’d post about a fight Chris and I had or about something that meant a lot to me in my relationship with him. And I realized that those were the posts people kept coming back to read. The second thing I noticed was that people were leaving more and more comments saying that they were so happy to hear that other couples were going through similar things. The relief people felt when I shared relatively minor parts of my marriage was astounding and that’s when I realized that there was a need for someone to really talk about the strengths AND WEAKNESSES in their marriage. Even my closest girlfriends didn’t talk about those things and so I started to think that maybe that was a need I could fill with this blog. I had a good, long conversation with Chris about my new direction for the blog and I got his blessing to really start diving deeper into our lives and our marriage. The intent was not – and still is not – to save marriages or to change people’s lives. (Who wants that responsibility?!?!?) But instead to just say to people, “I’ve been there, too, and here’s what it looked like in my house.”
A few months ago, Chris and I did an online live video chat with about 300 people about how to blog and how we blog. A lot of this same information was shared there, so if you want more information and have an hour to spare check it out by clicking below.
29 Comments
Jessica @ How Sweet
I can’t agree more with almost everything you said. I think the biggest thing that makes a blog successful is to be relatable to others, and be yourself. I think when readers learn that they can relate to you in some way, that is when you can consider your blog a success.
Megan (Best of Fates)
Wait, I’m suppose to balance silliness with substance? Frick – I knew I went wrong somewhere.
Alaina
I love this post! It’s really appropriate for me, too, because I’ve just started my blog. Like a lot of people, I’m wanting to write more, kind of use a little more creativity in what I write. I used to write all the time in college, but once I went to law school, a lot of that went away because I had no time. My goal is to actually stay at home with my kids (when my husband-to-be and I have them!) and work part time in law and write, as well. So any tips you can give from an experience blogger to an inexperienced one are much appreciated!
Magimom
Thanks Katie for posting this today! Great tips, and wonderful information!
Casey
Great info… thanks for sharing your thoughts! Now if I only had the time to blog more than once a month 🙁
GirlyGreenGirl
Great post Katie! I’ve been chugging along at my blog for about 9 months now and, although I recently started thinking about the income aspect and how to increase hits, it has always been just a way for me to creatively “vent” while putting out the good sustainable word. I see success when a dear friend (most of my readers are essentially personal friends at this point) tells me that she started her own compost bin as a result of my encouragement or that another pal wants me to write about something specific – I love that! Interacting with readers has been one of my favorite parts of blogging! PS – when I hadn’t seen a post from you in awhile you started showing up in my dreams and we were bff’s so do with that what you will! =P
Melissa
I was first introduced to your blog through the best blog of the year vote last year and haven’t looked back since. I couldn’t believe that there was a young married couple who were willing to talk about the realities of being young, married and new parents (although, I do not have kids yet). Anyway, it was also great to see that Chris was willing to contribute. Although, I do not have a blog, I love reading what you have to say and know that I am not alone in a lot of what I am going through. We are so much alike that it’s scary. 🙂 Thank you!
Sarah H.
Good post Katie! This is how I know blogging is hard work, and not meant for me. 🙂
Maybelline
I’m glad you like the feedback we give you.. Thanks for sharing your little things and the not so little about your life and what is like to be a young married couple and parents at the same time. Did I mention that you keep me coming back?.. hahaha..
Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos
Thanks for sharing this!!! 🙂
Robin
Today is one of those funk days for me too. This was a nice post to help me put things in perspective. I have my own blog, but really only use it to update family on what’s going on. I just recently started addressing bigger issues than my daughter eating chicken for the first time or my son’s birthday cake. 🙂 I really meant for that to be a tool to reflect on the big stuff I’m dealing with on a day to day basis. But I also force myself to find the good in it all (hence the name of the blog). Like you, I don’t want people to read about me wallowing in the stress that is my life right now, so I’ve had a hard time delving into things lately. But I truly appreciate your ability to get something out everyday for us readers. While I’m not quite in the same boat as you parenting wise (my kids are 2 1/2 and 4 1/2), I think all married couples, no matter how long they’ve been together, need to understand they are not alone in the issues that come up that cause tension or happiness or whatever it is. Thanks for the great reads I get here every day!
Sara
What I really appreciated about this post was that you said you think about your readers as friends. That’s a big part of what draws me to your blog–the fact that reading it is like having a good, long chat with a girlfriend. Plus all the Bean photos for my daily dose of cute 🙂
Anyway, I’m not a blogger, but I aspire to be (translation: I started a blog recently but haven’t told anyone about it yet). Thanks for providing a great example AND something that I look forward to reading every day!
Life of a Doctor's Wife
Ah crap… no one wants to hear me complain on my blog?!?
Love this post – very valuable advice. And I 100% agree with you that the blogs I love the most are those that are real, sincere, and don’t seem to be in it for the money. I also love what you say about remembering your readers are people, not some faceless audience whose sole purpose is to pad your pockets.
I think another point for people who really want to make money is that you probably aren’t going to do it by writing confessional/personal type blogs. You can make more money by focusing on one area of expertise and offering useful advice about that. Like a site about, I don’t know, handmade soap. You’d have to write pretty specifically about that – how to make it, where to buy it, which brands are best – but you’d attract targeted readers who are really interested in handmade soap. Build a big reader base, and handmade soap advertisers would likely pay a pretty penny to host ads on your blog.
Sarah@Crazy Love Gamble Style
I heart your blog Katie.
My biggest issue with my blog is that I know my family reads it and the things I want to write about seem wrong to over-share with them. It is a tough balance.
For now I just focus on cute pictures of my kid. We will see if I ever build the nerve…
Megan
Thanks Katie! I never get tired of hearing blog advice. I always feel like I need more.
I love your honesty and your blog!!
🙂
Megan
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/
Aubrey
For not feeling like blogging today, you sure did a great job of giving out pointers on how to blog! I agree – when you’re in a slump, blogging about something little doesn’t hurt.
A trick I use when I’m stuck is going through my photos. I’ll find one photo and create a post about it, tell a story with it, etc. That’ll normally generate more than a couple of ideas.
Anna
Thanks for posting this. It’s incredibly interesting to hear other bloggers talk about the inevitable fatigue. I usually can get inspiration from other blogs when I wake up and I’ve got nothing. Keep up the great work!
Amanda
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog. I came across your older blog on google, and started reading it and I absolutely love it. Your blog is very real and I know I can certainly relate to it! If you have time please check my new blog out at amandadeloach@wordpress.com.
P.S.- Please dont laugh at it, I am seriously new at this and it is a work in progress!
Amber
Thanks for the tips! I also really enjoy reading your blog!
Kimberly Loomis
My first thought when I read the title of this post was that your computer had died and you took photos of it’s insides or something. I have no idea why.
I love your tips and explanations! I totally forgot about wordpress.org!! Between my husband’s band blog, our art blog and my blog we could use something to link it all. Thanks for the reminder…you rock!
http://www.themusicianswife.com
Kimberly Loomis
my comment dissapreared! Boo! AND I spelled disappeared wrong..BOO!
Okay, so first I said that I was worried your computer had died or exploded and you were posting pictures of the carnage…i.e. the computer’s guts. I have no idea why.
Second, I said thanks for the tips…I totally forgot about wordpress.org!
Thanks, lady!
http://www.themusicianswife.com
allison
The reason I keep coming back to read is because you are so REAL. There are so many other blogs out there, but yours sticks out because you are someone most of us (at least I think so) would love to be friends with! Your blog is sincere and not controversial. You aren’t afraid to share your views, but you do so in a way that is not offensive to your readers who may have different opinions. Not to mention, your son is adorable!!!
tan@tan/green
This is great! I watched the video soon after I started blogging in January and it was very solid starting advice. I also found you through the blog awards and am glad I did! Your story is really inspiring to me – especially since I was once literally where you were in CT. I am writing because my earliest goal (like when I was 6!) was to be an author and a blog let’s you do that! No publishers or sales goals needed!
I would love to hear how you worked on developing your voice – do you write how you talk? Do you plan your blog then write or just let it flow? Etc. I find that the hardest part because it is so hard to judge yourself (note: I am open to comments on my style from fellow bloggers, readers and even bold “lurkers”!).
Best wishes to you 3 as you transition to Chris working!
Christina
You are so smart! 🙂 I feel like my blog doesn’t really fill a niche, other than the inform-my-family-and-friends-about-our-life niche. Which is why I started it in the first place. I hope to make people laugh, but life isn’t always funny, so sometimes it’s hard to come up with or write something inspiring, or cheerful. (I am not those things naturally) Anyway, I think that it is clear that you take this seriously, put a lot of effort into it, and care about what you do. You’re great! Good advice. 🙂 My brain is starting to shut down, so I’m going now, but this post is really helpful.
Christina
My brain is working in slow-motion…I meant to ask if you liked (saw?) High School Musical. I cannot read “We’re all in this together”…I have to sing it. Do you know what I’m talking about?
I know. I’m a weirdo. (I wrote weirdog. I really should go to bed.)
Lindsey
Wow, for a girl who had a hard time coming up with something to write today, I thought it as great! I don’t have a blog because writing doesn’t come easy to me but I am a faithful reader no matter what the content of your blog is!!!
Anu
Wow Katie!!!! A huuuuuuuuuggge thank you! :))….. I really didnt expect this, but I am sooo happy to see this post! You made my day…
kate
I love this blog! Of course, I love them all — but this is so interesting. I’ve been blogging for myself and my incredibly loyal readers (my mom and dad) for a couple years but have seen an increase since I started posting them to my facebook too — and it’s kind of a rush. I loved reading how you expanded your blog. Thank you!
Kristan (Scenes from the Galley)
I know I’m coming to this a little late, but thank you so much for this post! I’m a very, very new blogger who has come to it by way of my love of writing. I did, however, take some of your advice a little too much to heart….but I decided to write about it in my new blog that I now have the courage to promote thanks to your advice!