Making Time for Daddys
As much as I am loving this time to be home with Bean Man, I am still job hunting. I used to be really uncomfortable staying home, but part of this whole Bloom Where You Are Planted thing is coming to peace with where I am right now and right now, I’m home during the days. Actually, I’m getting pretty good at it now! I’m much better at play dates, I’ve made some really nice friends with other SAHM’s here, and I’ve completely gotten used to being out and about during the day by myself with Bean.
The thing is, I’ve gotten so good at filling mine and Bean’s days with fun things that sometimes Chris feels a little left out. When we’re on the go all day long doing fun things, I can tell when I talk to him that night that he wishes he’d been able to go with us. Lately, I’ve been making an effort to make sure that he doesn’t feel left out of anything. Now, we use weekends to do a lot of “Firsts.” Like, the first time we took Bean to a pool was on a weekend with Daddy and the first time we let Bean order off of the restaurant menu was on a weekend with Daddy. None of those things are milestones or will probably be significant looking back at Bean’s childhood, but they go a long way to make sure Chris knows how important he is in Bean’s growth. After we’ve had the “First” with Chris on the weekends, I can add it to my regular rotation of activities we do during the week without feeling like I’m experiencing anything with Bean that Chris would miss out on.
Does that make sense?
On Friday night, Chris and I were up late watching Season One of The Shield (holy smokes what a show! wowza!) and in the middle of one particularly intense scene, Chris looked over to me out of the blue and said, “Let’s take Bean to the zoo tomorrow.”
Now, I know this is going to sound melodramatic and ridiculous, but I could actually FEEL myself fall more in love with him when he said it. It wasn’t the zoo that was important to me. It was that Chris was thinking of things for us to do as a family together. Knowing that Chris LIKES spending time with us and that he WANTS to be there with us is something that I don’t take for granted. Lots of dads aren’t like that and I know how lucky we are to have one who is.
So, Saturday morning, we got up and headed to the Central Florida Zoo. We spent the morning there seeing all the animals and making animal sounds with Bean. This zoo had a little splash park inside of it, too, so when it got hot around lunch time, we changed into Bean’s swimming trunks and let him splash around for a while before we headed home. Bean Man was asleep before we even pulled out of the parking lot. It was a big day.
Blooming where you are planted is hard stuff, man! You have to be sure you are blooming as an individual, blooming as a couple, and blooming as a family. That’s a lot of bloomin’ blooming! But each step is important and to fall short in one area can throw all the others out of whack.
This is one of the many hundreds of thousands of reasons that I am thankful to be married to someone who is not just willing, but who WANTS to hold my hand and bloom along beside me. And who makes the effort to be there to bloom together as a family.
Because seeing his parents make that effort together is what will give Bean the confidence and security to bloom on his own his whole life.
19 Comments
Ulmer Studios
This is a great post!
So glad when I can get to be a part of the firsts! It makes it feel like we are growing together as a family!
-Josh
Sarah H.
Excellent post! I’m glad Bean enjoyed the Zoo and you all were able to go together!
Jordan
I’m so glad that you told us that he splashed around at the park because otherwise I would think that’s one sweaty Bean in his car seat! 🙂
And yay for blooming where you’re planted, we’re working very hard to bloom in our new living situation!
Jen @ Life with Jen and Ronnie
I didn’t think I could love my hubby more than what I already did before we had a child. I love that you said you fell in love with Chris more when he suggested the zoo. I didn’t know it was possible! Glad you had such a great weekend!
Alaina
Aw, that is so sweet! You have got to love a man who loves to spend time with his family. I’m so glad you guys had an awesome time at the zoo! Looks like it was fun!
Tressa
GREAT post Katie!
You are so right, alot of husband/dads do not put forth the effort or want to spend time with their families. So easy to take for granted. Happy to hear you don’t!
Bean man on his daddy’s shoulders is AWESOME 😉
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
Awwwwww.
That reminds me – we haven’t been to the zoo in a long time. I don’t think my kids will like it as much as yours though. 🙁
Camille
What a fun little family of flowers you are becoming!
Megan (Best of Fates)
I would tell you I have a deep, meaningful comment.
But all I really have is a joke about blooming being like bloomers.
You know, underwear.
Oh yeah, I’m keepin’ it classy.
Life of a Doctor's Wife
Wonderful post. It’s clear that you are both working hard at making the marriage strong and happy – and that you both care deeply about each other.
Michaela
That was sweet! And I like that it was about you and Chris again, because obviously with bean man and family stuff going on there haven’t been quite as many relationshippy posts recently, and I realised I missed that! But it’s nice having the family context to read it in.
Glad your day was awesome! I wish I was in Summer, and at the Zoo….
sigh…
Megan
I know exactly what you mean! I feel so blessed everyday that Farm Boy wants to do things as a family and spend a lot of time with his daughter. It’s so wonderful to witness!
Looks like the zoo was fun!
Megan
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/
Jamie
The last two pictures are so sweet. It makes me love my husband more just to THINK about him being a daddy. Im not sure my heart is going to be able to take when he actually becomes one!
Nate's Mom
I can’t see all the pictures! I’m being denied Bean pictures!!!!
We’re the same way – the firsts are saved for family time, no matter how big or small. And the first time ordering off the menu at a restaurant (grilled cheese, please! for Nate) is HUGE! Super fun to have so many firsts to look forward to!
Marie
This post just makes me want to put my foot down and tell my boyfriend that it’s time to get married & make little babies 🙂 I honestly can’t wait to get to THAT part (and I would by lying if I said my ovaries don’t chant ‘we want a boy, we want a boy’ when I look at pictures of the Bean man!)
Buuuuutttt…then I remember I’m going back to college in September for two years, so then I have to tell my ovaries to shut up!
YoungMarriedMom
Beautiful post! I know just what you mean about family things making you fall more in love with your husband. It’s a wonderful and extraordinary thing to feel. Glad the zoo was so much fun!
Katie
Oh my goodness… what a beautiful post! Thank you so much for sharing this. Learning to bloom where you are planted can definitely take some practice – this post is a great source of inspiration for just that! 🙂
Jordy
What a great idea… I’ll have to keep this in mind when our kid-time comes.
courtney
Completely understand your post. I have friends that do everything together (with their kids), and their husbands never go. They don’t want to go. They often invite me, but I decline because my husband almost always wants to go. I’m very thankful that he is involved and wants to be with us.