Eat, Child! Eat!
Don’t let this happy “say cheese!” face fool you.
Meal times at our house have become exhausting. Well, for Chris and I. Bean thinks it’s a lot of fun. He gets to sit in his chair and throw food, pour juice in his plate, dump his food out of his bowl, and shake his head, “Nooooo!” every time I suggest he take a bite. All activities which are, apparently, way more fun than actually eating the food.
Bean’s gone through these phases before. Usually, he eats less when there’s something going on with him. Maybe he’s cutting teeth. Maybe he’s not feeling so great. Maybe he’s overly tired. And sometimes those phases last a week or so. But usually, we can figure them out and we roll with them and they’re over just about the time I start to get really frustrated.
This phase though is lasting a looooong time. A looooong, loooooong time.
And this phase is different than the others. There are no tears. No whining. No complaining. Bean seems perfectly content to sit in his high chair and do anything BUT eat. And the more we use those key parenting phrases, “Don’t throw your food, Bean,” “Keep it in your mouth, Bean,” “Use your spoon, Bean,” the funnier Bean finds the whole experience.
He’s cutting his two year old molars right now, so it’s entirely possible that that might be contributing, but we’re going on three WEEKS here of not eating. And I mean, really, not eating. Not a bite at dinner. But, of course, the minute he gets down from his chair, he’s all, “Cookie! Cracker!” We don’t give him those things either. Instead we say, “You have to eat your dinner first,” and then we try to feed him again. But it gets the same response. Giggles and spitting and throwing food.
We’ve tried changing dinner time, we’ve tried feeding Bean separately and eating together as a family, we’ve tried all kinds of foods, we’ve kept things plain and simple, we’ve tried mixing everything together in one big mushy mess and we’ve tried putting them in separate compartments on plates. We’ve eliminated snacks, dessert, treats, cut back on juice and milk right before mealtimes. I mean, I think we’ve tried everything. But surely there’s something we’re missing…
So, I’m here to ask your help, Imaginary Friends. What am I doing wrong? Is this just a phase? Do we let him just eat when he’s ready to eat? Do we force it?
Here’s the thing that I’m concerned about. Two things:
1. I don’t want Bean to think he can just complain or act up and he’ll get new food every time. But I’m not sure what age I can really teach that. I’m more concerned that he EATS something.
2. I want to make sure we’re creating healthy and HAPPY eating habits right now. We’re laying the groundwork for how mealtimes will be in our house and I want to make sure we are laying a foundation that we are all happy with. But, again, I’m more concerned that he EATS something.
So, what do I do? Is he too young for discipline at mealtimes?
WHAT DO I DO?!?!
(UPDATE: To answer your question, yes, Bean eats a huge breakfast – usually a whole wheat waffle, a piece of fruit, and milk – and his daycare says he eats really good there – morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack.)
49 Comments
Erin
First of all, he is definitely not to young for discipline at meal time. He is testing his limits, and you just need to stick with it and keep trying. He’ll eat when he gets hungry enough.
Catherine M.
No advice here, but I do have a seven-month old who thinks it’s funny to refuse food and will start razzing if we try to put something in her mouth that she doesn’t want. She is also known to only open her mouth if she’s allowed to hold the spoon. This doesn’t bode well for the toddler years!
Renee
First of all, Bean looks WAY too grown up in these pictures.
Second, I think what you’re doing is right. Bean is trying to figure out how to get what he wants (cookies and crackers), and giving in just teaches him that he doesn’t have to eat what you want.
I taught preschool and worked in daycares for 6 years before teaching elementary. Many kids go through this and, unfortunately, some learn that they can get their way five minutes after dinner is put away. No fun for parents or child care providers.
My advice is to stick to your guns and wait it out. When he’s hungry, he will eat. If he decides an hour after dinner that he’s ready to eat, give him his dinner plate. Until he eats some of it.
Amanda
I truly believe it’s a phase! My son just turned 2, and it seems like he’s coming out of that phase now. It seemed the only thing he’d ever eat willingly was Chicken Nuggets (which he rarely ever gets!) Recently, I made some chicken nuggets (coated with breading and fried ’em in oil) and he loved them. I really think it’s a phase. It sounds like you’re doing the same thing we did. It will get better. Not soon, but eventually!!! Hang in there. They really will eat when they’re hungry. They make up for it eventually.
jayme
OMG!!!! Bean looks like such a BIG BOY!!!!! and we have food issuses in our house too. My child refuses to try anything new, so he still loves to eat baby food. He is 2!!!!!
Lori @ I Can Grow People
We’ve gone through this at our house too. I talked to his doctor who suggested that we focus on what he eats over a few days rather than one day. So if he doesn’t any vegetables one day, but he does two days from now–that’s okay as long as he eats something like that eventually.
I also read somewhere that toddlers “graze” so when Porter seems to be totally uncooperative at dinner and I just can’t take it anymore, I let him away from the table–but I put his food out at his playtable or near wherever he happens to be. I find that he does eat it eventually.
How’s Bean eating at daycare? Problems there too?
Catherine
Does Bean eat well at breakfast at lunch? My daughter almost always eats two good meals a day – one is always breakfast, the other is split between breakfast and dinner. Even though she’s quite small for her age, our pediatrician says that’s fine, normal even. So we roll with it. At dinner, we give her the food she’s having and let her eat it until she stops (or doesn’t start). When she’s done, she’s done. That’s it. We don’t force her. We don’t give her different food. And we’re okay with that.
Of course, if Bean isn’t eating breakfast and lunch well, ignore everything else I just said:)
Laura
Okay, obviously I have no kids so have NO idea. But could you maybe try to act a little blase about it and try to ignore it? Is it an attention getting thing? I guess that won’t really work because you need to scold him when he throws things. But if you are fussing over him at mealtime, maybe he thinks his antics are being rewarded? He is a cunning one. Trying to mess with you!!!
Alysha Cousins
I agree with him testing his limits. I would honostly take meal time and food time away when he acts up. If he can’t do anything but play games when it’s time to eat, it’s not time to eat. When he seems ready and calm again, try again. The wonderful thing about kids is that they won’t starve themselves. They are in complete control of that and will discover that if he doesn’t act right, he doesn’t eat. I know it seems harsh, but he’s smart and I’m sure a quick study.
Nate's Mom @ nateisgreat
Two things. 1) Nate’s rockstar pediatrician says this is a phase. He recalls that his son, around 18-months, began to only eat one brand of vienna sausages. He ate them for six months straight. Then he decided to shake things up a bit and eat other things. He’s fine. #2) As part of Nate’s autism sessions, we started food therapy tonight. Nate’s got sensory issues–if he doesn’t like the way a food looks or feels, he won’t even try it. (Apparently, this is a theme with kids who happen to have autism.) When Nate is done with food–either because it looks gross to him or he’s full–he tends to take each piece of food and, one by one, drops them on the floor. Tonight, I was told the response is to take his tray away. Also, I was told the key to getting Nate’s food habits set is having family dinners. (Because of our crazy schedules, we’ve TOTALLY failed on that one.) The more your tot sees you eat a wide variety of things, the more s/he will become open to trying them. Well. So says this therapist. I’ll let you know how it goes….
Sara @ embrylovescookies
I agree with everyone else that Bean looks SO grown-up here! Also, I want to echo what Catherine said. My pediatrician said that if toddlers eat 2 good meals per day, it’s plenty. Bean might simply be not hungry at dinner time. I would definitely not force him to eat, but keep giving him the opportunity to eat every night at dinner time. He will eat when he is hungry. Keep at it, and stick to your routine!
Kristin
We are going through the same thing with our 18-month-old! It is so frustrating, especially since she used to be such a good eater (I suspect teeth/molars to be her issue too). We’e tried a variety of different things too … definitely cutting back on snacks and juice. What seems to have worked the best is actually ignoring the issue during mealtime. When we would correct her or tell her to eat she thought it was funny or would get mad and then refuse to eat anything! Then we started ignoring it. We sit down with our food, say a prayer, and my husband and I eat and talk as we normally would … but we don’t look at her or watch her eat … and she started eating! We still talk to her, but we ignore the food issue. If she catches us watching her she’ll throw the food or spit it out, but if we go about our business she does her thing and eats. I know not every kid is the same, but its worth a try! Good luck, I hope Bean starts eating for you!
Michelle
We are in the same phase with Henry but coming out of it. Henry is usually a great eater but has done the same thing as bean. We actually moved him out of his highchair and he now sits next to us in a big boy chair with no boaster. He’ll also sitin our lap. He actually for some reason eats more when we do this. We give him a real napkin and put it in our lap and use a real fork and plastic knife. We try not to make a big deal out of how much. Some nights he eats great- others not even a bite. Our fall backs are bananas and green peas which he’ll eat if he is truly hungry. Then if we have deserter that night he gets it at the table right after we eat. We then do wal, bath time, and then play in the living room. At that point I offer him a snack like cracker or fr.uit along with milk. We then brush, books, bed. I hope this helps. I’m just trying to remain calm and remember that Henry eats pretty good all during the day and dinner is ot his heavy meal. Good luck!
Abby @ They Lend Me Their Hearts
He’s not too young for that lesson at all. My suggestion is to sit down at the table as a family, but don’t dish him up or give him his plate or fork or anything until he asks for some food. I wouldn’t make a big deal about it, just go about your dinner with him and see if he asks for some dinner. If he starts to throw food, take away his plate. If he flat out doesn’t eat, let him down and try again before bedtime. Is he eating well at daycare? If he is he’s probably just testing you to try to get some treats instead of his dinner. He won’t starve to death by any means, he’s just a toddler who is exherting his opinions and testing his independence.
Alyssa
I don’t have kids yet but I do remember this happening with my cousins MANY years ago. I SWEAR they ate 2-3 foods for MONTHS on end when they were young kids. The parents gave in, added some flinstones and called it a a day. While I don’t think this is great parenting- they are both late teens/early 20s now and let me tell you…they are healthy young men with muscles and intelligence to boot 🙂 Bean won’t starve himself 🙂 If your doc allows- add a multivitamin, try the above ideas that other moms listed and don’t stress too much about a few days of him eating nothing. He’ll eat when he’s hungry. He’ll grow up to be fine 🙂
Anna
Katie, we are going through the same thing with our lil guy that will be 19 mos old on the 25th. I have consulted everyone ENDLESSLY! In fact, it’s all I talk about and I’m certain my family is tired of hearing about it. SO, after I exhausted that advice I turned to medical professionals AKA my nursing professors (I’m a nursing student) who coincidentally all happen to be moms (woo HOO!). They gave me two great pieces of advice 1) He will eat when he’s hungry and 2) He may not be a meal type of child. As long as we are offering healthy nutritious snacks and CONTINUE to offer meals that are healthy it will balance out. I hope this helps a little!
Lindsey
My little girl who is a month or two older than Bean usually doesn’t eat a big dinner. She always has a HUGE breakfast, a pretty good lunch, a snack after her nap (like half an apple and milk), and hardly touches her dinner. It frustrated me for a while until I realized she just wasn’t hungry! I don’t eat 3 big meals a day, so I don’t expect her to anymore. Is Bean eating well for his other meals?
Jennie
I have the same issue with BOT my 3 and 2 year old…we bought “Dinnertime” by Family Fun and have had a lot of luck (and family fun–HA!). This was a publication I saw in the grocery and picked up…88 recipes that kids will like and parents too. Fondue night was such a blast…to allow the boys to eat picnic style in the living room–they gobbled every last piece of Cauliflower, Broccoli & Carrot and barely touched the hot dog! Sometimes it is just the presentation. Can’t say it solved it but it has helped! **Can’t find it on Amazon but found one put out by Famil Fun Magazine loaded with snacks.
September
Both of my kids had serious allergies as infants. Not fun to go through but one of the side perks of having a bajillion specialists is that the pediatric gastroenterologist that we saw had a nutritionist on her staff and we had complete access to her. Even now seven years later I use the information I got from her and we’re all happier and healthier because of it.
The bottom line is that toddlers really don’t need that much to eat. When you think of how much a baby grows physically in the first 12-18 months of life, and then compare it to how much they grow between ages 1 & 2 you can kind of see where I’m coming from. This drastic downturn in intake can freak parents out and this is often when parents get sucked into “picky” behavior (i.e. only chicken nuggets or something like that) thinking that their child *must* eat and _____ is better than nothing. Honestly, he probably isn’t all that hungry at dinner, especially if he’s eating healthy meals earlier in the day and nutritious snacks.
As for the behavior, throwing food and disrupting dinner is something I don’t put up with. With toddlers we had a “three strikes and you’re out” policy at mealtimes. Throw or spit it out once, twice, then the meal is put away and DON’T BRING IT BACK OUT. If he really is hungry and is yanking your chain it won’t kill him to go to bed a little hungry, and you can be sure that he will take it more seriously in the future. “Well then I guess you’ll be hungry for breakfast, then.” is a standard tag line in our house–no one *has* to eat anything, but there aren’t any alternatives and once the meal is pulled you are done…no snacks, retries, nada. You are the boss, you set the rules and even a toddler is capable of following simple preset guidelines and expectations.
Michelle
I remember when my son used to do this. I know it’s probably not the best advice, but what we did was let my son put everything on toothpicks and pick it up to eat it off the toothpick (think samples at costco). For some reason this made eating so much fun for him that he’d actually eat. I know toothpicks could be dangerous, but we made sure that we were right there next to him and we took them away as soon as he was finished with it. He never had a problem!
Ann C
(sorry it this is a repeat, I’m on my phone.) have you ever seen the book by jessica seinfield? Simply Delishes. It’s all receipes ‘hiding’ veggies in everything from mashed potatoes to brownies. She also presents & encourages veggies, but feels better knowing they’ve been eaten. Also, my grandmother tells the story that if they did not eat dinner, she and her siblings were served that dinner for breakfast.
Sarah
I don’t have advice really, just commiseration. Our daughter has been of with bedtime since the 2 year molars started and it is FOREVER. It is no fun at all and I will have a party and eat cake when that last one comes through (provided we haven’t screwed up bedtime so much with our frustration that she will never sleep normally again….)
Alicia
No real advice, but I will tell you the little story my mother-in-law told me about my husband. She said that when he was just a little older than Bean, he wouldn’t eat either. She asked his pediatrician about it and he told her to not worry about it….he’ll eat when he gets hungry enough. lol
Jocelyne
We’ve done fairly well by the advice that parents are in charge of what is served and when. And children are in charge of how much they eat. Bean is not dumb, he will not let himself starve. If he doesn’t want to eat, fine, he may be excused from the table. And the next meal will be served on schedule. 🙂
Caitlin {Pacifier In My Pocket}
Bean looks adorable in those pictures! My son is a day younger than Bean and he’s having the same phase right now. I’ve noticed with some things he likes them whole (like a quesadilla wedge) so that he can chomp on it himself. He also likes things that are shapes–like when he eats a pea he calls is a “ball”. He seems more interested because he thinks he is playing as he eats. Sometimes we pretend to eat his dinner and that interests him a little. And sometimes I just feed him off my plate, which seems to taste better to him, even if it is the same stuff. Does he struggle with sitting in the highchair? Sometimes I let my son out of the chair and he can wander around the dining room while we eat. We’re not all at the table together, but we are close together. He tends to come back over to me for bites more often than if I try to force him to sit when he is tired of it. I guess the only other advice I have is that if he is hungry, and I mean really hungry, he’ll eat. As long as he is getting all that good nutrition throughout the day, I’d say not to worry too much (easier said than done). Good luck!
Jill Smyth
Right? Enough calories for the day is enough. Keep offering him dinner and don’t get emotional. As long as it doesn’t become a big deal, he’ll eat when he’s hungry. Trust him.
Abby @ They Lend Me Their Hearts
I just had another thought. He may be acting up at dinner for attention. Try getting in some good, giggly, quality playtime right before dinner and he may eat more willingly!
mom of 3
I would agree that it sounds like in the course of the day, he’s eating enough to be healthy. The more you try to coax him to eat, the more power you give him. Take the fight out of it by presenting the food, either he eats or he doesn’t. I would also add that I would not give him juice any time in the p.m. Juice is very filling and even a few sips of it at dinner may take away his appetite.
Margaret
So Ezra is about two weeks younger than Bean, but we’ve figured out that with these food things the best thing to do is just cut mealtime short and forget it (this was particularly helpful when he’d dump food on the floor). I don’t think you should limit your food choices the next night to whatever he did eat the night before, but try to get the veggies/healthy stuff in during snack time, and don’t sweat it if he’s not eating as much for dinner. He’ll go through another growth spurt and eat a ton soon enough. If he’s not eating he’s probably just not hungry. The complicating factor for us is that now that he’s throwing tantrums, it’s harder to tell if he’s finished or not, but my modus operandi has been to warn with a “Last bite!” and see if he stuffs food in real fast (in which case he is hungry) and if he keeps playing to announce, “All done!” and let the tears of anger happen. He also goes to bed right after dinner, so he’s usually tired and just falls asleep. It’s so tempting to just keep trying new foods, but that’s not an ongoing solution.
oregonjudy
Here’s what I would probably do…and it is painful. At suppertime, put him in his highchair and give him his food. When he throws it, take him out telling him supper is over. No snacks and no fuss. Continue until he gets the message and it will probably bother both parents and child. Since he’s eating at breakfast and at daycare and he looks quite healthy, there’s no danger of malnutrition. Hopefully he’ll get the message soon.
Kara
What it boils down to is that Bean will eat if he’s hungry. kids have a satiety mechanism that works well (unless we parents break it). Don’t make food emotional for Bean by making him feel like he’s disappointing you if he doesn’t eat.
At our dinner table, we present food to our son and we don’t say anything about it (encouraging him to take bites, etc). If he misbehaves, then we intervene and punish him because we want him to have good table manners. He doesn’t have to eat, but he has to sit while we eat, and he doesn’t get special meals- he eats what we do no matter what because I’m not a short order cook. It can be maddening to prepare a meal and have him turn his nose up at it, but he’ll eat when he’s hungry. Learn to trust his body!
Beth
Oh boy, have we ever been there! I’m sure you know that it’s best not to focus on how well a particular meal goes. Look at how he eats over a few days and I’m sure he’ll find he’s getting the food he needs. Both of my girls don’t eat much breakfast. I tend to find that they get two really good meals a day and the rest is just snacking. Don’t make a big deal about whether he eats or not. When he starts throwing food, take it away. My older daughter seems similar to Bean in that she thinks it is HILARIOUS when we tell her not to do something. It can be so frustrating. Meal times have gotten better as she got older. The food throwing and such is definitely a phase. Unfortunately it can be a long phase. Just take that food away and refuse to let it turn into a battle. 🙂
Amy
I’m glad to read this post and comments. I was about ready to start having panic attacks over meal time with my18 month old. Dinner became such a struggle and I felt like a bad mom when he wouldn’t eat anything that was placed before him. After reading the comments and finding readers with the same problems, I don’t feel quite so guilty anymore. My strategy is that I make one dinner for everyone. If Elijah doesn’t eat it, then I take him out of his high chair. I don’t let him play with his food or start having fits. I don’t let him have any snacks before bed other than a yogurt or some type of fruit. Trust me, this was all very difficult to come to terms with. I felt like I should be making additional foods just for him that I know he would eat, but then I realized that I might have a lifetime of making two suppers every night and I had to change my methods.
Lissa
It’s definitely a phase. But it might last a long time. My almost 4 yr old still doesn’t eat dinner a lot of the time (and he’s only 29 lbs, so we’ve thought a LOT about theses issues). I think what you’re doing is right. Offer his dinner. If he won’t eat then, try again later when he’s hungry, but don’t give into the snacks.
One thing that helps me calm down about [lack of] eating issues is that I was told that you can’t look at any one meal or even day of eating for a toddler – if you look at the week as a whole it’ll balance out. Like your son, ours eats a lot of breakfast (1 at home, 1 at daycare) and eats a good lunch, so we try not to stress at dinnertime. All we can do is offer the healthy foods, we cannot make them be hungry or eat it all.
Karen
Bean looks so grown up in these pictures!! What a little man! I agree with what others have said–he won’t starve himself, so just continue to offer nutritious stuff and he’ll eat when he’s hungry. Those 2-year molars do take forever to come in, though–at least they did for my little girl. Remember–this too shall pass!
Summer
I have been told that if I can get one GOOD meal into E every day, then I should be happy. That has been my motto. He eats a good breakfast, and eats so much better at school than he does at home. So when he only wants to eat a few bites of his dinner (or none) I dont feel as bad because I know he has eaten well through out the day. Good luck!!!! Im in the same boat, so I know its tough!
Ginny
During my stint as a pre-school teacher, meal times were always the roughest part of the day but the one time I was really strict with my kids. For Beanie, I would sit him in his highchair for dinner while you and Chris are eating, too. He needs to see you guys as examples of how meal times should be. Then, if/when he starts playing (i.e. throwing food, dumping juice, etc.) I would give him one very firm warning. “No! We do not throw food! No sir!” But then continue on with your meal. If he starts to do it again that’s when you tell him very firmly again “No, Beanie! We do NOT throw food! Meal time is over.” Let him out of his high chair and be done with food for the evening. No snacks, no juice, no milk. (Water if you feel like he really needs some hydration.) Once he is down, you and Chris continue you meal without any attention to Bean (I mean, obviously make sure he’s safe, etc). And keep that routine consistant until he learns that playing with food equals no dinner and no attention. That’s it — one warning and then done. Let me know how it goes!
Sarah H.
Love that your blog doesn’t have me hiding in la la land about what to expect with this baby!
erin
I ddin’t read through all the comments so I’m probably repeating what others have already said, but I thought I’d add my $0.02 anyway. 🙂
My mother always figured it would not kill my sister and I to skip a meal if we didn’t feel like eating, and she was not going to push it. I take the same approach with my daughter Hannah, who is the same age as Beanie. She eats what we eat at dinner (or lunch or breakfast) and sits with us, and if she doesn’t want to eat she doesn’t have to, but she also doesn’t get any snacks or anything unless she eats, except water. I figure, if she’s hungry enough, she’ll eat, and eventually she’ll get hungry enough. She gets a very stern warning the first time she throws food, and the second time she does it the food gets taken away (but I do make her sit with us until she absolutely can’t stand it anymore, because I don’t want playing to be a “reward” for throwing food). Maybe I’m a bad mom for that, but I just don’t have the patience for throwing food at every single meal, and I know she is doing it to test me because she looks straight at me when she is doing it, and she does it kind of deliberately instead of impulsively.
My mom said she always had healthy snacks available for us in the bottom drawer of the fridge (where we could get to them easily) – carrot sticks, celery sticks, apple slices, etc – and we will do that when she is a bit older and I don’t have to worry about her choking on the hard pieces. I DO give her graham crackers and fishies for a snack if she is hungry, after I feel like enough time has passed from any eating “incident” so that (hopefully) the snack is not associated with not wanting to eat her meal. Otherwise as I said, I kind of figure it won’t hurt her to skip a meal every once in a while. I mentioned it to her pedi who agreed and said that I should worry more about what she eats over the course of a week than what she eats in any given day.
Okay, that’s all I can think of. 🙂 Hope your mealtime trials are short-lived! I’m looking forward to the post about how things are working and what you did to solve the problem.
Amanda
oooo I remember this one. I worked a great daycare facility for two years once and my job specifically was meals and snacks. Other teachers spent more time playing and supervising in the rooms, but meal prep, serving, and getting them to eat was all me. It was daunting to have 12 toddlers all sitting in their teeny chairs waiting for my ‘quisine’. They all seemed to go through a picky non-eating phase right around two years old. It’s as though for the first time they realize that they have CHOICE about eating! They get all hyped up on the power. They never said no to chicken nuggets (try for the healthiest ones you can find), baked tator tots (it’s not a green bean but it’s still a veg), cheese (we cut it into shapes to make it more fun), anything with peanut butter and raisins, and we made miniature hot dogs wrapped in crescent rolls. They were on a budget to feed a tons of kids so they used regular old mini hot dogs. I would substitute some good Jennie O turkey sausage for a healthy alternative. They always liked anything that appeared to be “fun size” and something else that was a big time strain but helped out was once in a while getting the kids involved a little. Like we would put some peanut butter on a piece of bread or toast and then let the kids show us how they placed their own sliced bananas arranged on the top. It was a time strain and got messy at time, but the kids seems to take a little pride in their work and were more apt to eat the food if they “made” it.
Just some thoughts – if he still thinks it’s all fun and games after trying out some tricks – then it’s probably time out time….
Claudia
I agree with what many have said already. He is testing you and Chris. I don’t have kids but I remember this with my nephews and niece since I used to baby sit the bambinos. It was one of the boys that was a problem and I would sit him down, give him his food and utensils and tell him to eat. He wouldn’t eat because he didn’t want to, was distracted and the more I insisted the more he thought it was funny (sound familiar?) So, I would finish the other two kids and let them go play, whenever he became hungry and asked for food, I would sit him down at the table and give him his food. He then began to realize that while he everyone else was done, he was eating by himself. I also made it clear that he had to eat the food now that the asked for it. Eventually he turned around when he didn’t want to be alone at the table while everyone else had fun. Took a few weeks and it was trial and error but it worked.
Ann G-B
This sounds exactly like our house!!!! And it only got better when I stopped trying to force him to eat. He comes home with an empty lunch box most days. And if he doesn’t eat much, he doesn’t…. I did count pudding as a meal time food for a little while…
Tan @ Tan/Green
Ok so this partially answers the question I left on the Q&A post today…our pediatrician echoes a lot of what is already said here: look at food intake over a few days and if he is eating a couple good meals a day he is fine. Pumpkin does well at breakfast and lunch and likes a snack at 4:30 (still at day care and it is something like an orange and graham crackers or peanut butter on bread) this means that dinner is really more like snack (fruit, yogurt) or a very small serving of what we are having. And don’t discount the power of exerting independence…meal time is one of the few times these little guys can really, really exert themselves!
jessica
i have eatting issues with my almost 2 1/2 year old son. he chews his food but them spits it most of the time, he is seeing a gastro doc cuz it was effecting his weight gain, we have now been refered to a food theripist. so we shall see what happens there, they are going to watch him eat and then help us in some way, we go on the 2nd of feb! so fingers crossed for both of us…good luck!!!
Jaymie
I was told your child only needs one tbsp per age per serving. For example bean would need 1.5 tbsp of veggies, 1.5 tbsp. of meat. Aren’t all kids picky it makes meal time no fun sometimes. :).
kim
Based on your comment update, I wouldn’t worry about it. Be consistent. Offer him food, have a time limit of how long he has to sit there and how long he can sit there. No treats etc. if he doesn’t eat. If wants to eat later, it’s something from his dinner. But again, have a limit of how late he can eat. If he’s having a snack at daycare, he may just not be that hungry. Also if he’s eating a good breakfast and lunch he’s getting plenty of nutrition. I’m not sure you can actually create a good eater or not. I have two girls who we treated exactly the same who are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum on what they will eat and when they will eat it. Don’t make it a battle that will make everyone unhappy and not solve any issues. Good luck. This too shall pass.
Rebecca
I agree with practically everybody here. He’s definitely not too young to learn how your family does meal time. He won’t starve himself, that’s for sure, so (as frustrating as it can be) just let him choose. But dinner is dinner, period. I would say that most importantly, to not let it become a battle or a power struggle.
Jamie
I find my boy eats a bigger lunch than dinner, so I generally have to get satisfaction from him eating more in the middle of the day, having also to be okay with him occasionally being in a snacking mood at night. I try to make the kitchen smell yummy so he’ll get hungrier than he otherwise might be. There is also the option to engage him meal-wise by having him be a helper in preparation. Upon serving I provide a few more food options than I know he’ll eat, and I eat what he leaves. I also listen to what he wants to do during mealtime and assure him he can have that or do this if he takes, oh, just one more bite. I try to be receptive to what he wants when he wants it, and if it’s only fruit on the ride home from school and a cereal bar (vitamin packed!) and milk before bed, than I chalk it up to variations in appetite, and hope he sleeps well despite not being as sated as he’s been in the past.
Beth
Sometimes they don’t just outgrow it. My daughter started falling off the charts for weight and we were worries that her development would be effected. I found this great website that talks about all kinds of reasons and solutions for kids who won’t eat. http://childrenandbabiesnoteating.com/index.html It’s just has so much good information.