My Sister.s Miscarriage, Part 1-3
When I was in Atlanta last weekend, I talked to my sister about her miscarriage for the first time in a long time. Mostly what we talked about was how common they are amongst our girlfriends and acquaintances, and that we had never known how prevalent they were until Ginny went through hers and people started selflessly sharing their own stories with her. Through these conversations, Ginny agreed to do a series of video interviews with me about her miscarriage. Some of the conversations focus on her actual miscarriage, some on her life afterwards, some on how it impacted her marriage, some on how she feels now, and some on what friends and family can do for someone who has gone through this horrific experience.
I haven’t been through this myself, but even without the experience, I know that the topic of miscarriage is not talked about enough in our society. I am so very thankful to my sister for stepping out of that silence and speaking out, even when it is painful for her to do it.
32 Comments
Jenna@CallHerHappy
God bless your sister for speaking about this difficult topic. I just can’t even begin to imagine how difficult that would be. But, she has a beautiful little angel looking over this pregnancy now đ Thanks, for your honesty Ginny!
Cathy C.
Thanks for sharing your story. I wish more people felt comfortable talking about miscarriage. I had a very early miscarriage with my first pregnancy. It was very emotional. I would recommend the book Heaven is for Real to anyone who has had a miscarriage. I hope to see our first baby some day in heaven.
Rachael Johnson
Ginny, it takes a strong person to tell the story and can be so liberating. Thank you for openly talking about this and hopefully giving someone else the courage to talk about this. So glad to call you “friend”!
LDiggitty
Thanks for sharing this. My little sister miscarried two years ago, and I’m about 8 weeks pregnant now so it’s been on my mind. I couldn’t believe how common it was until we started talking about it (and that’s, of course, when friends started coming forward). It’s better when the experience can be shared with others who love you – and who understand what you’re going through.
Abby @ I Used To Have A Brain
Thank you Ginny for speaking about your experience! Speaking from experience, it helps so much to women who are going through or have gone through a miscarriage. It’s important for women (and their significant others) to know that their thoughts and feelings are normal and perfectly ok! I also blogged about my grief (which eventually ended in great joy) about my miscarriages a couple years ago because I believe it’s helpful to share these experiences if you are willing.
Rachel
Thank you for sharing your experience! I miscarried twice, once at 8.5 weeks (carried till 12weeks, then had a d&c) and then another one 4 months later at 6 weeks. I was such an emotional roller coaster and I constantly felt like there was no one to talk about it to. I am so glad that you spoke out and told your story. You are such a strong women and both you and Katie are amazing mothers. đ
Jenn
Having been in Ginny’s shoes, I applaud her honesty. I have trouble talking about my miscarriages as well.
Lydia
I applaud anyone who can talk openly about their miscarriage. I had one myself almost two years ago and it took me over a year to be able to talk openly about it. It helped me immensely once people started coming out of the woodwork and talked about their own miscarriage experiences. It is the secret sisterhood that no one talks about.
The Life and Times of Me (Waiting for Bulgaria)
I really admire Ginny for sharing this. I’ve had close friends and family lose babies and miscarry (some numerous times). Yet, it seems like everyone just avoids talking about it even when the mother wants and needs to talk. It’s very hard to know what to say to someone who has been through such a horrible experience, and I hate the cliche, “oh you’ll have more kids” comments. I myself had a difficult pregnancy and almost lost my life and my son’s life. Thankfully, after some hospital time, we both came home, but I struggled with a lot of guilt thinking I could’ve done something differently. In the end, it was the friends that just listened and were okay with me talking about it that helped me the most. Can’t wait to meet Ginny’s baby boy at the end of the summer. I know you’ll be sharing lots of photos and stories. đ
Allison
I admire Ginny’s courage in talking about this. I am so sorry that she and so many other people have had to experience this. Thank you, Ginny, for your honesty and willingness to share.
Lindsey
Ginny, I’m so sorry for all that you went through. I myself have had to experience similar pain having three miscarriages before my 1st child and one before my 2nd. I was never as far along as you were though. I just can’t imagine going through all that you did, with the surgeries, etc. Like you, I don’t know what to say to comfort those going through the same ordeal. It’s just such a fragile thing and so many emotions to make sense of. Anyway, I’m so happy to see you happy again and expecting another little baby. Congratulations!
Amy
Gorgeous, Brave Ginny. Thank you for sharing your story.
Kim
Ginny, your strength in sharing this story is incredible. I am honored, as Rach said above, to be called your friend. You are amazing! Thank you for sharing so openly so that others (like me) can better understand this side of motherhood. Xoxo.
Jessica M.
That was so brave Jenny. Thank you for sharing.
Sarah H.
Ginny and Katie,
Thank you so much for sharing this. What a great idea! Ginny I know that took courage! Youâre going to be a wonderful mother!!
I work at a high risk OB (perinatology) office and so I have a different perspective from the average woman. I absolutely agree that pregnancy loss is common and hard to talk about. Iâve seen many losses in the 1st and 2nd trimester. 20% or 1 in 5 pregnancies miscarry. Thatâs a lot! And the risk increases as we get older. As you know itâs usually prior to 12 weeks, and the risk for 2nd trimester losses are much lower.
I think what people who have a miscarriage want is to be validatedâto know that itâs real, it was a life, and it was lost. And thatâs sad and scary and women go through the normal grieving process. But they do it often alone or under the guise that they maybe shouldnât be feeling this because they werenât very far a long, etc. It helps to have people acknowledge both the life and the death. I know a lot of people say oh âIt was meant to beâ (if something was wrong with the baby) or You can have another, youâre youngâ etc. And those might be helpful down the roadâbut not at first. I personally never bring up ânext timeâ unless my patient does first. Usually they do, and then we talk about the risks for next timeâwhat can be done differently and what tests (to help determine the cause) I want to do before we get there.
As far as the CVS and amnio proceduresâyou did a good job explaining them. CVS can be trickier to perform and for both procedures we say if you have a miscarriage within 2 weeks of the procedure, itâs probably the procedure (but we can never really know) and if itâs after 2 weeks, then the procedure wasnât the cause. Thankfully in my 4 years of being a genetic counselor Iâve only had one patient have a loss following a CVS where I really thought it was the from the CVS. And Iâve helped with easily 400 procedures a year.
I have no idea if this is helpful, I apologize if itâs not—but another thought I had was the cross country flight. Typically we have a good balance between clotting and bleeding in our body, but when weâre pregnant our body is tilted toward being more prone to clotting. And we fly (especially long hours) itâs very easy for our body to throw a clot (even when not pregnant). And if that clot is in the placenta, a miscarriage can happen. (Although since the sonogram showed a live baby a few days after the flight that may not be the cause at all) For any women flying during a pregnancy please take one low dose aspirin (81mg) a day to greatly reduce or prevent the risk of clots. Just my two cents.
Again, thank you Ginny for sharing your story! Pregnancy loss is something I deal with every week in my job and I appreciate you talking about it. The truth is most people have healthy normal babies and thatâs a wonderful thing!
Alyssa
I’m so proud of GInny for talking about her miscarriage. I miscarried at 12 weeks and felt so alone, yet found out that so many people I knew had miscarried also.
I can’t wait to see her little guy when she has him, I know you’ll post a picture for us đ
Alexis K.
Ginny – so brave, and so moving…. I am in awe and so proud of you and JM. We can go through some pretty difficult (and unexpected) journey’s in life, but it’s what we choose to do with those lessons that makes all the difference. So brave of you, and SUCH a beautiful thing to do to provide support for others. You’re pretty amazing girl – and definitely going to be one hell of a mommy. My love to you my little hooty pal. Apt “G” fa-eva.
Candice
Thank you for being so open and honest, Ginny. I think it’s so important that women share these stories and I’m sure there are many out there who will feel less alone having found your story here.
Lisa @ Floating Along...
Thanks for sharing, Ginny. Even though I’ve heard it from you myself, I hope that telling your story publicly can help others open up, too. You’ve certainly helped me understand so much about pregnancy and motherhood – like Rach and Kim said above, I am so proud and honored to have you as a friend. Love you!!!
jenn hopkins
I love you grandlittle. I cannot wait to meet your baby boy.
BFF Em-ly
Ginny, you amaze me with your strength, your honesty and your willingness to selflessly touch others with your difficult and very personal story. Thank you for reminding me yet again how special it is, and what a blessing, to know you and Katie.
Christy
Ginny, I’m not pregnant and I’ve never been but I’m so glad you spoke so eloquently about miscarriage since many people are scared to talk about it. No matter where you area in life everyone experiences very difficult times. I think connecting with a support group is very good advice. It’s so refreshing to know that you can get through hard times and be so positive and help others. You are an incredible example. Thank you.
Laurie
Wow, such touching videos..Thank you Ginny for sharing so much, very brave! I can’t wait for you to have your little boy in your arms!
Becky F
Thanks to both of you for sharing this. Just had an early term miscarriage a couple of weeks ago and it’s nice to know I’m not alone!
Ashley @ According to Ashley
Ginny, thanks for sharing!
Bridget
A resource for women who have miscarried or experienced infant loss: facesofloss.com
It was started by a woman I graduated college with who lost a baby in the second trimester. She seems to be giving voices to women who had none before.
momiss
As always, Katie, I am in awe of you. And Ginny….I have thought of her often. If you haven’t read Heaven Is For Real, I highly recommend it. It gave me more peace than any other book I’ve ever read. Except for the Bible. It helps immensely. God Bless!
Chloe
Wow, I’ve only watched the first video so far but I just wanted to say thank you. I’ve never been pregnant but hope to be in the future and it’s so good to have women be honest and open about all scenarios. Ginny has a beautiful heart.
Lori @ I Can Grow People
I am so glad that Ginny is brave enough to share her story and I thank you for giving Ginny a platform to do so. I, personally, know that I can’t handle watching these videos right now (too much for me to handle at the moment) but I know several friends who have gone through miscarriage, stillbirths and even two friends who lost their children later on (at age 4 and 8.) So many women struggle in silence. It is important for all of us as women to help each other in these difficult times. So much goes unsaid often because we don’t know what to say for fear of saying the wrong thing. Sharing our stories helps us heal.
Jordy
Having never been pregnant, and therefore not experienced miscarriage, I watched these posts from a different angle. I have always had this fear inside me that I could one day miscarry. I am afraid that when I do get pregnant, I might let the fear get the best of me. I am thankful for these posts for explaining the process and making me feel much more at ease.
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