Around the House,  Changes,  Fun Things,  Husbands,  Just for Fun,  Marriage Confessions

Beyond the Boundaries of a “Normal Marriage”

September 18, 2012 /

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(WARNING:  If you aren’t married yet, you might need to look away for a bit or else you’ll never want to get married.  Also, if you’re my minister, please skip this post and come back tomorrow.  Thank you.)

For the past couple of days, I have had this dull, aching headache. Nothing too major, but constantly there. Then yesterday afternoon at school, that headache moved behind one of my eyes and got more intense. My nose was running, so I thought, “This must be a sinus headache or infection.” But by 6:00, that headache had turned into a full out migraine.

Migraines run in my family. My mom and sister get them terribly and fairly often, too. My mom takes a daily medication to prevent them and both she and my sister have frequently had to get shots for them. Fortunately, I seem to have escaped that genetic bullet. But last night I paid the price for having been migraine-free all these years. I thought my head was going to explode. I was honestly worried that my brain was swelling. Oh, it was awful.

I came home from swimming lessons, immediately passed the kids off on Chris, and headed right to my cool, dark bedroom. After a few hours, the migraine was still in full swing so I did what I always do when I don’t feel good. I called my mom. She gave me the run down on what to take, what to do, and what not to do. I emerged from my cave to eat some toast, drink a little something with caffeine, and take some medicine. Mostly though, I just wanted to sit with Chris.

I can’t tell you what a calming, soothing presence Chris has always been for me, but especially in the past month. I am not the easiest person to be around when things aren’t going good. I tend to shut people out and, while I’m just trying to work through things on my own, it can sometimes come off as being hurtful or snappy. Chris takes that so well from me. He gives me space, but is never too far away. On the days when I’m hurting and missing my dad, Chris sits there with me and just holds my hand while I cry. On days when I feel overwhelmed with responsibility and decisions, Chris sits there with me and reminds me of how capable I am even when I don’t feel like it. And on days when my body has had enough of the sadness and the stress and it just shuts down in a terrible migraine, Chris sits there with me and… well… shares his ice pack.

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Last week, Chris had the ol’ snippy snippy from the doctor that officially means we won’t have any more wee ones. It was a big decision that we talked about for a long time. Chris and I both knew we were done having babies. Though we agreed that we made super awesome kids, we never wanted to be outnumbered. Too risky. What if they realized there was more of them than us?!?! He asked me as soon as Gracie was born what I thought about him having a vasectomy. I told him that it was up to him. Personally, I thought he was too young, but I would support whatever he decided. He went back and forth for a few months, but last month he said that he couldn’t make the decision alone. It was too important. So, we talked about it and decided that while we would certainly be overjoyed to have another baby, we both were also perfectly happy with our family of four and really didn’t see ourselves as having any more children. So, he made the appointment, went in last Mondays, and now he has been hobbling around our house for a week.

The procedure itself went really well and was fairly simple (as far as neutering goes, I guess?), but it has left Chris pretty helpless around the house. No lifting, which means no kids, and he needs to be sitting as much as possible. We’ve been taking pretty good care of him, but last night he was forced to grow a pair (giggle, giggle…) and step up while I was out of commission.

When I came downstairs last night to call my mom, I found him sitting on the couch with an ice pack down his shorts. We were quite a pair (giggle, giggle, snort, snort…). I couldn’t walk or stand up because I would get dizzy and see black spots, and he couldn’t walk or stand up because… well, you know. We were like an old married couple, wallowing in our pain and misery.

Finally, I had tried everything my mom had suggested with not much relief. The only thing left was a cold compress on my head. The following is a transcript from mine and Chris’s conversation about this cold compress dilemma. I’m not proud of it, folks:

Me: Mom says I can try a cold compress on my head.

Chris: That’s a good idea. But the washcloths are all upstairs, so one of us would have to get up and walk.

Me: I can’t do it. My face would explode.

Chris: I can’t do it either. My guys would explode.

Me: It’s okay. I’ll just sit here until I die.

Chris: Well, I do have this cold ice pack…

Me: The one down your pants?

Chris: Yes.

(pause while I weigh out the pros and cons of this situation)

Me: Fine, pass me the ice pack.

And that, my friends, is when I took the ice pack out of my husband’s pants and put it on my face.  I am not proud of this. It was not our finest moment. In fact, I am hanging my head in shame (and, yet, still writing about it on my blog?). We continued to pass the ice pack back and forth between us for an hour, when it finally thawed and lost all it’s coolness.

“Thanks for letting me ice my face with your family jewels ice pack,” I said.

“That’s what I’m here for,” he replied.

And then I took a shower before I went back to bed.

THE END.

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50 Comments

  • ScooterShell

    September 18, 2012 at 6:07 am Reply

    LOL!!! Thank you SO much for the laugh!!! I’ve been married 10.5 years and that seems like a totally logical conversation to me 😀 Except, I wouldn’t have bothered with the shower 😮

  • Meghan

    September 18, 2012 at 7:22 am Reply

    This is hysterical. When my hubby got snipped, we used a bag of frozen peas (he’d heard that was easier to maneuver for maximum comfort). When they’d been used/thawed several times over, he tried (but failed) to put them back in the freezer so I could cook them later…..ewwww!

  • Amanda

    September 18, 2012 at 7:55 am Reply

    Lol! The only thing that could have made this funnier is if you attempted to use the ice pack simultaneously while innocently watching the news. If you’re life we’re a movie that’s the exact moment your in laws or your minister would have come to the door.

  • Lori @ I Can Grow People

    September 18, 2012 at 8:05 am Reply

    I really had no idea how common uh “snipping” was until I asked about people’s preferred birth control on my blog Facebook page. Now I think I know more couples who went that route than any other family planning choice. So maybe your post is actually quite “normal”!

  • Erica

    September 18, 2012 at 8:24 am Reply

    That is true love right there…LOL. Hope you both are feeling better very soon. Migraines are the worst. I get them too….and if I was smart..I would take my medicine when it is initially beginning, but no, I wait a good 5 hours just to be sure it is a migraine….then I suffer. Someday I will learn. Thanks for the laugh….;) Erica

  • Amy

    September 18, 2012 at 8:25 am Reply

    I literally laughed out loud on this one. I could see this happening in our house too. I love that you blogged about it! 🙂 After reading this it makes your Instagram photo with the ice pack even funnier.

  • Natalie

    September 18, 2012 at 8:34 am Reply

    I love this story! It sounds exactly like the kind of thing that my husband and I would do for each other. Love isn’t always as pretty as we’d like it to be, but it sure is hilarious.

  • Nicole (Piper_E)

    September 18, 2012 at 9:00 am Reply

    I can’t believe I’m going to say this but…I could totally see my hisband saying, ” just put your head down there and we will use it at the same time!” Ha! Shame, shame. Also, I get migraines a lot, in fact the past few days have been horrible. My husband made me a very cool ice pack by just freezing a bottle of water and then putting it into a sock. That way I can put it on my head or on my neck and shoulders for some relief. I keep a frozen bottle in the freezer at all times.

  • Bethie

    September 18, 2012 at 9:03 am Reply

    We have made some ice packs up for teenager injuries, migraines, back aches out of 1 part rubbing alcohol to 3 parts water and put them in a Ziploc freezer bag. They work great and after a few minutes they are like a very cold slushy flexible ice pack! Throw a couple in the freezer – you won’t be sorry! Hope that you are both feeling better real soon!

  • Lindsay

    September 18, 2012 at 10:37 am Reply

    Too funny! I thought you were going to say you just laid your head in his lap, that way you could both use the cold pack at the same time. 🙂 Hope you are both feeling better soon!

  • Sarah H.

    September 18, 2012 at 10:42 am Reply

    I don’t think that’s as bad as you think! Seems fine to me. My husband did make me ice packs for when I had dental surgery (and needed something softer to conform to my face) and we did what Bethie describes above—1 part rubbing alcohol to 3 parts water with some blue food coloring in a Ziploc freezer bag. Works great!

  • Brooke

    September 18, 2012 at 11:31 am Reply

    You said at the top to look away if you weren’t married, but I decided not to listen. But stories like this make me realize that’s exactly what I eventually want in a husband – a man who would share his ice pack with me.

  • Melissa

    September 18, 2012 at 12:19 pm Reply

    This made me laugh so hard. An all too true look behind the closed doors of a marriage. Hope you guys are both back to full strength soon!

  • jenn

    September 18, 2012 at 12:48 pm Reply

    Aww, very endearing. Also, while I wouldn’t wish a migraine on anyone, should you get one again, instead of a icepack try Migraine Ice by Thermacare. I recommend the stuff to anyone who suffers, partly because I love the stuff and partly because I never want them to stop making it. It’s a little ice patch that sticks to your head and keeps you cool. I love them because I can sit up and walk around if I need to without having to carry something around. Plus, unlike a washcloth, it doesn’t leave my pillow wet.

  • Leah

    September 18, 2012 at 1:39 pm Reply

    Wow this is hysterical. Although I like many of the others who commented thought you were just going to lay your head down 🙂 I mentioned the snip to my husband the other day (we’ve got baby #2 coming any day and don’t plan on more) and he panicked a little. We still have some time before that decision but all he has to do is whisper the word baby in my ear and I’m pregnant so we’re definitely going to have to take care with whatever birth control methods we decide on soon after this little guy arrives. If it’s not too personal it would be interesting to hear from Chris about the process and recovery. The doctors only give you so much truth 🙂

  • Cindy

    September 18, 2012 at 4:01 pm Reply

    I was worried that the post was going to be something REALLY bad and then when I realized what it was about it just made me laugh! You are awesome Katie for sharing everything out in cyberland!!

  • HeatherM

    September 18, 2012 at 6:16 pm Reply

    What a pair 😉
    I also get debilitating migraines- when I had my first one I had no clue what it was, and I thought I was having a stroke. My migraines are so debilitating that they have me vomiting within half an hour- which means I can’t really take any medication for them, because I will just throw it right back up. I was in nursing school at the time, about to start out as a new nurse, and I couldn’t care for patients if I could end up incapacitated myself at any moment (you may encounter the same issue as a teacher- you can’t just abandon your students when you get a migraine). I would be sick to the point that I instantly couldn’t be around ANY light or ANY noise. And after a few months of having migraines where I was stranded at work or school because I was too sick to get home, I decided I needed to prevent these puppies, since I couldn’t treat them very easily. I kept a calendar of my migraines (do this!) and saw that they were cyclical- they occurred at the same points in my monthly cycle every month. I did my own research and found out that Depo Provera (birth control, commonly known as “the shot”) is one if the things that treats the cause of these migraines. I eventually started on the med, and have been migraine-free for 5 wonderful years (oh wouldn’t it be ironic if you had to go on birth control for migraines after everything Chris went through). Now I want to have kids, and I took a job working from home just do I don’t end up stranded when my migraines return when I go off Depo. I hope you don’t get any more, but it is pretty rare to get just one migraine.

  • PK

    September 18, 2012 at 6:20 pm Reply

    LoL. That is marriage for you (though I must admit I thought you might end up saying you just put your head in his lap and shared the ice pack with him). I read this while working, started laughing, and then my phone rang. I had to take a few seconds to stop laughing before I could talk. I hope you and Chris are both feeling better today.

  • Claudia

    September 18, 2012 at 8:39 pm Reply

    This was the funniest thing I’ve read in a while. It sounds a lot like my marriage. We put ourselves in the oddest situations. Glad we’re not alone!

  • Kat

    September 18, 2012 at 9:20 pm Reply

    LOL well that’s real love right there. I could make a number of totally not appropriate comments but I won’t because this is a family establishment 🙂

  • Chloe

    September 19, 2012 at 1:19 am Reply

    LOL this was so funny (I’m sorry you were both in pain), I agree though, you two are best friends! The very best kind of husband to have. Also I think God often uses modern medicine for good and wants our heart more than our religion. x

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