Laid Off and Moving On
This morning, Chris sent me an email that said one of our best friends had been suddenly laid off from his job. I was shocked because our friend had just moved here to Orlando from New York for this job. He relocated about four months ago, had just settled into his home, had just met a nice girl, was just starting to get his feet under him. And then he walked into the office this morning, and walked back out about an hour later with a crappy severance package. He came up tonight so we could wallow with him. He ate dinner at our kitchen table, is currently drowning his sorrows with Chris in our beer fridge, and will probably crash in our guest bedroom. And in the morning, he will sit at the kitchen table again with our kids and eat Cheerios and talk superheroes with Bean and princesses with Gracie. Gary is about as much our family as you can get without being born into it, and we hurt for him as any family would.
But tonight, as I sit in my living room after a fulfilling day at my job, which I am fortunate enough to get to go back to tomorrow, I am reminded of a student who amazed me last week.
You aren’t supposed to have favorites as a teacher. I love all my students. Really. I love them. But there are some that I just connect with more than others. Students that I understand, and even some that I admire. Like Adrian. Adrian is a smaller Hispanic kid. Funny, smart, quick as anything, and still humble and respectful. He’s one of those kids who knows just how far he can push a teacher until that’s enough, and then he reins it in and gives me a break. I love kids like Adrian.
So, last week, Adrian comes up to me in the hallway before class started.
“Mrs. Brown,” he said, smiling so much that I thought he might hurt himself. “I need your help.”
“Sure. Whatcha need?” I replied.
“I need you to stop Meghan when she comes into class so I can ask her to the 8th grade dance.”
I tried not to get overly excited here because the key to staying cool to a middle schooler is to act like nothing impresses you. So, I laughed and coolly said, “Meghan, huh?”
“Yeah,” he said blushing.
“That’s cool,” I said, yawning just to prove that I was cool enough to not care too much. “I like Meghan.”
“Yeah,” he said blushing a little more. “I do, too.”
About that time, Meghan starts getting close to my classroom, and Adrian started giggling this silly, stupid, middle-school girl giggle.
“Dude,” I whispered. “Pull it together!”
“Oh, right,” he said, wiping the smile off his face and instantly looking calmer and happy-go-lucky like his normal self.
“Hey, Meghan, ” I said as she neared my door. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
Meghan (a super fun, confident girl herself) got that panicked look all students get when a teacher asks to talk to them. But before she could get too nervous, Adrian jumped in.
“No!” he shouted, taking Meghan by the shoulders and turning her so that she faced him. “You have to face me. I’m the one whose talking.” And then he started that silly giggle again, and I shot him a warning look with my eyes that said, “Get it together, man!” He pulled himself up tall…well, as tall as short Adrian could muster… and he said, “Meghan, will you go to the 8th grade dance with me?”
I sat in my chair by the door pretending not to watch, but smiling like a big fool myself. This is the stuff childhood memories are made of, and I was witnessing one right this minute.
Meghan nervously turned to see if I was watching, and I continued picking my fingernails and being very interested in my cuticles. Finally, she turned back to Adrian and said, “Ummm… No?”
It really was more of a question than a statement. You could tell she didn’t want to say no, but that her middle school girl brain just calculated Adrian’s coolness factor against every other person ever in existence in the Universe, and made a snap judgment. “Not cool enough. Must say no.”
Meghan hightailed it into the classroom, where you could hear the entire class buzzing with the excitement of a fresh rejection. Middle schoolers smell blood and congregate faster than any other species on earth, if you didn’t know.
Adrian stood there next to me for a minute.
“Sorry, buddy,” I said, kind of laughing, pushing on his shoulder good-naturedly. “She was probably just nervous.”
He stood there for a split second longer, and then did the most amazing act of bravery I may have ever seen. He threw open my classroom door, walked into the room with his arms stretched out above his head, and announced, “WELL, GUYS! SHE SAID NO! NOW, WHO WANTS TO BE MY DATE?”
Resilience. I’m surrounded by people with inspirational amount of resilience. My mom, being chief among them. And Adrian coming in a mighty close second. People who take a minute to say, “Gosh, that really SUCKED.” And then, without fail, in the most horrific situations, pick themselves up and move forward. It’s the reason my mom is leaving for a month in Europe this week for a vacation just because she can. It’s the reason Adrian has gone on to find SEVERAL dates for the 8th grade dance. And it’s the reason my friend, Gary, went home this morning and instantly began sending out resumes.
Resilience. The ability to face the unfaceable, embrace the unimaginable, and regroup the unplanned. Of all the superpowers, that’s a pretty damn good one to have.
21 Comments
Jenn
For a second there I thought this was going to be about you or Chris losing your jobs. So glad I was wrong! Also, Adrian sounds like such a sweetheart. He’ll do well with the ladies in life.
Sarah@Crazy Love Gamble-Style
This is a really great post Katie!! Thank you for this. I loved the story about your student. I hope your friend finds his dream job super soon too, that totally sucks!
name*Beanie, Gracie & Tillman's Nana
Being laid off really stings, but it happens to almost everyone at some point in their life. I chose to look on the bright side, that job got Sweet Gary back to Florida. Now he’ll land an even better one. Sending good thoughts and prayers his way.
Beanie, Gracie & Tillman's Nana
And regarding Adrian….Well, he has something to teach us all! What a terrific kid!
Stephanie @ Our Marriage Adventure
Best of luck to your friend!! My husband and I were both laid off in February and only recently found jobs ourselves. Its tough, but the economy really is turning around as long as your willing to keep trying.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
That kid is going to run the world one day. I love it.
Lindsay (Young Married Mom)
Adrian sounds incredible! We need more like him!
mom2ranriroten
We had the same thing happen when we moved to south carolina for a job.. just when we got settled hubby got sacked. It stunk. We moved back to AL. just in time for our home to get hit in thhe April 27th tornnado. But we found out we were finally preg with the baaby we had been trying for years for. If we stayed in SC we wouldn’t have had our family close. If we had not lost our home we would have had to squeeze 6ppl into a 3 bedroom trailer that was 15 yrs old and falling apart. Good things can happen from the bad. We just have to be patient.
Cari
8th graders rule! Most of the time they are just fools, but I still maintain they teach me more than I could ever teach them!
Jen @ Ginger Guide
What a cool kid! That trait will attract the ladies like crazy when he’s older.
That sucks for your friend. I truly hope he has better luck than my husband. 10 months out of work is tough and way too long for my sanity.
And super props to your mom. She sounds like an amazing woman who deserves a wonderful European vacation.
Rebecca @ The Reluctant Housewife
you scared the crap out of me with your title!…. Love the story about Adrian, I smiled all the way through it. Hope Gary finds a job sooner rather than later!!!
Suzanne
Fingers crossed something comes up for Gary! We are stationed in Germany and travel quite a bit if your mom needs any tips or anything…how exciting for her!
Lindsey
Loved this post!!!
Jess G.
I feel Gary’s pain. I was laid off 7 months ago and it has been tough. But with each rejected resume or interview and each “you were great but we went with someone with a little more experience”, I give myself a night to wallow and cry and be angry and the next day its back to job searching and resume sending. A lot of my resilience comes from Faith and knowing God has a plan for me and a job will come when the time is right. Thanks for this post- it’s always good to have a reminder to keep on keepin on!
Conny
There are so many great stories in this post, I love it! I hope something good comes up for Gary soon.
Also, I’d love to show your mom around in Heidelberg, Germany, if that’s one of her destinations 🙂
momiss
Meghan, Meghan, Meghan……..sigh. Something tells me you missed an important opportunity here, Meghan, but such is life.
I hope Gary finds another job soon near the nice girl he found!
Cheryl
I totally thought your graphic was a weird looking stork and got super excited. I should probably change my contact lenses!
April
I hate that its times like these that make me stop and be thankful for what I have. I should be thankful every day for everything I have.
Jayne
haha… Adrian is funny! He’ll go such a long way. Like Gary.
Ann @ Such a Mama
Resiliency is absolutely key to living life well!
Cece
I know this is an old post, but I just found your blog and have really enjoyed reading it. I have never before posted on someone’s blog before. But I just want to say, just 2 months ago I lost my father to cancer, only to find out 3 weeks later that at 5 months pregnant, my daughter no longer had a heart beat and I had to have a still birth. I LOVE your definition of resilience and I think that I will make it my 2014 motto to try to be that definition. It is very inspirational for me. Thanks and keep writing!