Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds.
On Saturday, we said goodbye to my sweet Lucy Girl.
About six months ago, Lucy had liver failure and while she was able to get back to a point where she was functioning again, she just never fully recovered. She continued to have accidents all over the house, which we could have dealt with. But it was her aggression that prompted us to make the call to the vet about end of life options.
Lucy had become so aggressive in the last month. She was snipping at all of us, and had recently started getting up under furniture and guarding it, not letting anyone come close without viciously attacking. She was also attacking Molly on a regular basis. She has always been snippy, but this was not her normal little spits of fiest. She was angry all the time, and had become unpredictable. We were starting to have to keep her separated from the rest of the family often because we just didn’t know how she would act from day to day.
We had spoken with the vet about this change, and he said she was probably in chronic pain from her liver and this was causing her aggression. Chris and have talked for a month now about how to handle the situation, but in the past week Lucy became more withdrawn and was hardly leaving her crate during the day. (She is crate trained, and so that is her little “house.” We don’t shut the door anymore, but she takes her naps in there and sleeps at night in there.) We knew she was in pain. This wasn’t the Lucy we knew.
I always thought that when the time came for Lucy, there would be some magical person who made the decision for us. Turns out, being an adult means these are the kinds of choices you have to make. I’m 31 years old, and every day I continue to learn what being an adult means. I could do without this part of adulthood.
I have had Lucy since I was a sophomore in college. She has lived in every home I’ve ever had since I moved out of my parent’s house. She has been with me longer than I’ve been married, longer than I’ve been a mother, longer than just about anything else in my life. And though the last six months or so with her have been difficult, I remember the Lucy that was funny and spunky and full of life. She was my faithful sidekick for so long, and my house feels so empty without her.
We told the kids that Lucy was sick and so we were taking her to the vet. We later explained to Bean that there was a chance Lucy wouldn’t come home, and would instead go on to Heaven to be with Granddad (and Lt. Dan, he reminded me). As a side note, Chris and I got a huge kick out of picturing my dad in heaven and suddenly having Lucy come running up to him out of the blue. He couldn’t stand that “yappy little dog,” as he called her! Hahaha!!!! Still makes me laugh…
Both of them have been pretty good accepting the explanation of Heaven. Bean actually helped explain it to Gracie because this was Gracie’s first time being old enough to even sort of understand Heaven. Bean told her, “Remember, last weekend when Jesus went to Heaven to make a home for us there? Well, he made a home for Lucy and that’s where she’s gone. To live with Jesus.”
Bless that boy’s sweet heart.
Big Molly is another story. We sort of half expected her to be happier now because Lucy had turned on her so much in the past few months. But we could tell right away that Molly was confused and sad. Yesterday afternoon, she sat by the front door all day long. I know she was waiting for Lucy to come back. And today, our first full day without her, Molly continues to lay by the door. Just waiting. Like the loyal friend she is. At dinner time last night, Molly went and laid down next to Lucy’s bowl in the kitchen instead of eating. She just kept looking at us with her big, dopey eyes, wondering where her friend had gone. It absolutely breaks mine and Chris’s hearts.
I know it was the right decision for Lucy. I loved her too much to have her continue in pain like that. But it has been such a hard decision to make, and an even harder one to face now that she is gone.
She was a good dog and an even better friend. I’ll always miss her.
And that’s really all I have to say about that.
37 Comments
Diana
I’m so sorry for your loss…
Breann
About 8 years ago, I went through this same deal. I had my dog 17 years, since I was in the third grade, and he went with me to college – was there when I got married – and got to live one month in our first home together.
I still miss him. Putting him down was the worst day of my life.
You guys will be in my prayers for sure.
Marla
I am so sorry.
Verity
So so sad. I dread this day with my Lab so much. Love the image of her snapping at your Dad in heaven though. And oh poor Molly that last picture is a heartbreaker 🙁
sheppitsgal
So sorry about Lucy. Losing a pet is such a horrible thing. Sending hugs to all of you, with extra squeezes for Big Molly xx
C
I am so sorry. There is nothing like the love of a dog. I also believe dogs go to heaven!
Thinking of you all.
Simone
As I read this, my pup pup is sitting in my lap sleeping and I’m trying so hard not to cry. I got her my junior year of college and she’ll be three soon. I know the day will come when I’ll have to do the same for her. This has me in tears!
Also, Bean is just about the wisest kid I know!.. well kind of know…
Abby @ I Used To Have A Brain
I am so sorry for the loss of your Lucy.
Ann
I’m so sorry for your loss. Last summer, we knew our 11 year old bichon had gone down hill, but didn’t realize he’d gone completely blind until we moved, and he was walking into walls. (Our old house he had memorized…) This along with out of control blood sugar lead to a diagnosis of cushing’s disease. Though the decision to put him down was so difficult, it was the right decision, much like your Lucy. Thoughts and prayers to you all. (So sweet of little bean.)
Shannon
My heart is broken for you. I’ll be keeping, you, your family, sweet Lucy, and Molly in my thoughts. I know how difficult it is to lose an animal. I’m so sorry.
Katie
This brings tears to my eyes. I’ve been there before with my cats, and we will be there one day with our dog. He is my son’s best friend; we got her when he was in kindergarden, and he will go to college in the fall. It will be a painful day for us all.
Take comfort in the fact that Lucy had a wonderful life with you and your family. She had no doubt she was loved.
Josette C
I’m so sorry to hear about Lucy’s passing. Wishing you many happy memories to smile at during this sad time.
momiss
I am so very sorry for your loss. Even I will miss “Juicy”, and I’m just an imaginary friend. We love our pets like we love our babies. Only without that terrible teenage phase, where your children think you no nothing and roll their eyes at you all the time. Pets never do that to you. May Lucy rest in peace and may you find comfort in the wonderful life you gave her, Katie.
momiss
*know*. Sorry. Couldn’t see through the tears. ;/
Ann @ such a mama
I am so sorry. Nobody tells our 20 something selves that we will have to make these decisions later on down the road when we welcome these critters into our hearts. It just sucks.
Dyanna
I am so sorry for your loss. Making the right decision isn’t always the easiest one. Prayers go out to you guys and especially to Molly, they understand more than we know and grieve just like we do.
Trish D
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sitting here with our two dachshunds beside me and have big ole tears running down my face just thinking about what you’re going through. I truly believe we’ll be with our pets again in Heaven.
Several years ago, Rev. Billy Graham was asked about pets going to heaven and his reply was “God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he’ll be there”. I’m with Rev. Graham on this one…I truly believe they’ll be right there with us.
julie
I am so sorry for your loss.
Aileen
I’m so sorry to hear about Lucy. I love dogs so very much, and I can’t imagine how painful it must be for you to have lost your oldest companion. Sending prayers your way.
jenny-bird
Oh Katie. I’m so sorry that Lucy is gone. I lost my eight-year-old maltese (Chavez) to kidney failure about two years ago. Everything was different without him. I avoided going home because there were too many things to remind me that he was gone. My husband and I doted on him (no kids) and took him everywhere–he even lived in my husband’s dorm room during college. I still miss him. Much love to you and your family, Big Molly too.
Kelsey
This broke my heart so I can’t imagine how you guys are feeling. Praying for peace and happy memories. Love that last picture of her and Bean’s explanation of Heaven is the best I’ve heard yet. You’ve got a smart and sweet boy on your hands.
Tiffany
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had my pup for 11 years and had a similar history that you had with Lucy. I bought my Sparkle when I was 22…my last year of college. She’s been with me through everything: bad boyfriends, small apartments, meeting my now husband, living in her first house, new baby. My heart breaks for you and your family for your loss. I know in a few years I’ll have to go through a similar loss and it makes me very sad. I just hope that I have the wisdom of your son when that time comes.
Kat K
So sorry for your loss, I was reading this with tears in my eyes. We had to say goodbye to one of our cattle dogs 3 years ago and it was the hardest decision we ever had to make. One cattle dog and two Huskies left and I’m kind of hoping that they magically outlive us somehow xxx
Courtney @ The Life and Times of Me
I’m so so sorry. I lost my dog of 15 years when I was 16. It was hard to know how to live w/o her. Hang in there.
Michelle B.
Sending hugs!
Laurel A
We had to make the decision to put our first family dog down two years ago and my in laws lost a dog last week. Lucy will be met at Rainbow Bridge by lots of wagging tails. My heart hurts for you and your family. It is so hard to lose a family member.
Meghan Jones
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your post brought tears to my eyes, especially the part about poor Molly. It’s so hard because you can’t explain to them what is going on. We have three dogs and one is getting up in years and I know we will be making that tough adult decision sooner rather than later and I just hate it. Our other two dogs are sisters and I can’t even let myself think about how one will react when we lose the other…
Meggie
So sorry!! Saying goodbye to a pet (who is actually a member of the family) is so tough. Praying for y’all. You made the right decision for her.
Maggie
I’m so sorry Katie. Beans explanation just about melted my heart and I love that he remembered lt dan. so cute.
Josie
I’m so sorry. I had to make the same decision for my sweet kitty a few months ago that I had for just about as long as you had Lucy, and it is still hard to come home to a house without her in it. I think we have such pure, uncomplicated love for our pets that it’s such a strange, different kind of sadness when they go. Thinking of you and your family.
Ginna
I’m so sorry Katie, what a sad decision to have to make. Much love to your whole family, and especially Big Molly!
Rachel
So sorry Katie! That is never a decision you want to have to make, but I am glad you were all able to say goodbye.
Melissa
I’m so so sorry Katie! At least she’s in a better place, and you have great memories of her.
Poor Molly – they never do quite understand, do they? Last fall when my brother moved out of my mom’s house, her/our dog waited by the door every evening for a week for him to come home. Breaks my heart to see them confused and sad and there’s nothing you can do to help them.
Amy
Katie,
I am so sorry to her this and my thoughts are with you. I went through the same thing almost a month ago and I still miss my Bailey terribly. My other dog still looks for him but not as often. It’s hard on the whole family and never an easy decision. Praying for you!
Nikki
I’m so sorry for your loss. I held it together throughout the post, until I read Bean’s explanation to Gracie. Such a sweet boy you have there. I know this was such a tough decision for you, but I think it was the right one. I hope big Molly starts feeling better soon!
Pamela @ Little Red House
I’m so sorry. That is so difficult. As for Molly – your vet may have some suggestions for you. Her reaction is pretty common.
Marci
We just lost our Madison, suddenly and unexpectedly, so I know your hurting heart! Our pets are our children, often our 1st children! and they give us such unconditional love. Prayers for your family!