Jerry the Lizard, Please Get Out of My Car

A few days ago, a friend gave me a beautiful aloe plant from her yard to plant in mine. And then I accidentally left the planter in my van for two days. When I finally remembered it was there, I ran outside and performed CPR on it before successfully relocating it to our back deck while I figure out the perfect place to plant it.

Unfortunately, my beautiful new aloe plant came with a little friend. We have had a lizard trapped in my van for the past three days. He keeps randomly showing up and scaring the crap out of everyone while I’m driving.

Actually, that’s not true. He only comes out when he’s close to Gracie, who is TERRIFIED of lizards. It’s like he KNOWS. He will randomly run across her seat or the back floorboards and Gracie will lose her ever-loving mind and jump over three rows of seats, while screaming at the top of her lungs.

Not distracting while you’re driving, AT ALL…

Bean, however, has no problem with lizards and has promptly named this one Jerry. Every time he gets in the car, he calls out in a cheerful voice, “JERRY! WE’RE HOME!” He will also have imaginary conversations with Jerry while we drive.

“Jerry! Come help me roll this window down. Oh, it’s so nice outside, Jerry! Come stick your head out the window! You’ll love it!”

And the whole time he’s talking to Jerry, Gracie is crying and I’m yelling, “EVERYONE JUST CALM DOWN!”

Lord Jesus, please come get Jerry out of my van. Amen.