What’s Going On Here?

This weekend my ankles exploded. They just blew up. I think it was the plane ride I took to visit my family in Atlanta. My hands got really big, too. I couldn’t get my wedding rings off because they were so big, but after some lotion and screaming and pulling, I was finally able to yank them off. Thank goodness because I felt like my finger was about to shoot off my body.

All of these little nuiances of pregnancy are startling reminders to me that I am nearing the end here. And I’ve heard that at the end of pregnancies comes a baby. Whoa. I realized this week that I am 26 weeks pregnant. At 28 weeks, I start my third trimester. THIRD TRIMESTER, PEOPLE. As in, I’m almost finished. In fact, at my last doctor’s appointment, my doctor said I should start packing my hospital bag in the next few weeks – “just in case.” I almost asked, “Just in case what?” but I figured I’d go home and Google it instead so I didn’t give away that I have no clue what is happening here. And this brings me to my current crisis…

I don’t know what’s going on. I have no clue. I mean, I know I’m big and that there’s a baby in there. But I’m not quite sure how he’s gonna get out. I have an idea, thanks to my 6th grade Health teacher. But I really have no clue. And the even more startling thing is that I don’t really want to know.

Chris and I are deciding if we want to take childbirth classes. You know, where they teach you how to breathe and what’s going to happen and where the vending machines in the hospital are. For a long time I said I didn’t want to take them. I tend to be a worrier and I thought that if I knew too much about what was coming, I’d just freak out. And if there’s nothing I can do about it – why worry? Ignorance is bliss, I say.

But as I get close to the end here, I am starting to reconsider. What if something goes wrong during my delivery and they have to change plans? I wouldn’t know what the hell was going on and that would really scare me. And what if they start using words in the delivery room that I don’t know and so I don’t understand what they are saying? And what if weird things happen to my body during the whole “shooting out” part and I don’t know what’s going on? I’m starting to think that it might be helpful to have some idea of what to expect. I think maybe that my ignorance about this might end up stressing me out more.

I mentioned all this to Chris and I said that I really wanted to go to these classes, but I was scared to go. He looked at me, completely serious, and said, “Please don’t make me go to those classes without you.”

What a great idea! I hadn’t even thought of that! Chris could go for me! He could get the whole gist of what’s going to happen and then just give me the highlights. What a great plan! But I get this mental picture of him sitting around in a circle of pregnant ladies, holding a blow up doll, trying to do breathing exercises and as much as that thought makes me laugh, I know its not possible. For one thing, that might be the actual line that he will not cross (I’ve always wondered where that line was). But for another, I really need to just man up and go.

For 6 months I have prepared for this big event. Shouldn’t I know what it involves? Its time I put on my giant mom-panties and toughen up. Hiding my head in the sand is not going to prevent this from happening and its not going to make it any easier either. So today, I’m doing it. I’m buying it. What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I’ve been too scared to open it until now. But I think its time. 6 months in, and I think its finally time to know what to expect. Who knows? Maybe I’ll read it and get really excited about the miracle that is about to happen. Or maybe I’ll read it and it won’t be as scary as I think it will be.

Probably not.

13 Comments

Lori

February 17, 2009 at 9:39 am Reply

I am so sorry you are so swollen! My swelling has been pretty minor so far. I am 27 weeks today and starting to slowly freak out about all the stuff we haven’t done (like finalize names, find daycare, buy freakin’ clothes and diapers!!!) And even though I am a chronic worrier, I have remained relatively calm because I know in the end it will all work out–this kid will have to come out of me somehow. And I think I may be more scared of breastfeeding than labor–isn’t that weird?!

Sarah

February 17, 2009 at 9:55 am Reply

Yes. You should read it. (It’s a little quaint, but overall, very informational.) I am so sorry about your swellage. : ( Hopefully it will go away, now that you’ll be on the ground for a while??

Emily

February 17, 2009 at 11:15 am Reply

Holy cow! Oh, I mean… umm, they don’t look that bad.

The book is scary but 99% of what they tell you, you will never have to deal with. I swear it’s way less scary in real life.

Kristin

February 17, 2009 at 11:31 am Reply

Holy ankles!!! I can not believe that. Seriously, that is nuts. Are they normal again?

Glamorous Life of a Housewife

February 17, 2009 at 12:54 pm Reply

Your POOR ankles!! My WORD! You should have taken a picture of your hands, too! Crazy!

hether

February 17, 2009 at 1:27 pm Reply

I don’t know where to start. LOL First you need to make sure that your doc knows about the swelling, it could be a sign of something big that needs to be caught immediately. Or it could just be water retention. Second. It’s not as scary as you think. I’ve been through four pregnancies, one of which two came out one after the other. I have a pretty good handle on birthing and all. My last was delivered in a big giant tub of water. It was the best one out of all four! I never had a c-section though and only had drugs with first one. So I beg you get some education on it! It’s not all that bad! 😉 Feel free to email me with questions, I bet I know the answer!

Colleen

February 17, 2009 at 3:41 pm Reply

but how was your last-childfree, romantic-whole-shabang valentine’s day?

Mom of one

February 17, 2009 at 5:41 pm Reply

i must say those ankles are pretty bad… and unfortunately these things only get worse.. i never took child-having classes… but i watched endless hours of The Baby Story and feel like i got most information that way.. just don’t watch it in the last couple of weeks because then you will begin to resent those women who got to have their babies and you are still big and pregnant.. i remember being quite upset at those women… when it comes time for the kid to pop out i didn’t want to know anything that was going on as long as i was drugged up enough to not feel it.. that was all i needed to know.. unfortunately the doctor feels the need to explain everything… if i were you i would read up on the after the birth part more.. thats the part thats more scary!

goodbadandugly2

February 17, 2009 at 5:59 pm Reply

Oh WOW! CANKLES. Sad day. The things you go for for your Bean…that is True Love.

Ginny

February 17, 2009 at 6:14 pm Reply

Poor ankles… but my, what a lovely pillow. 🙂

Laura

February 17, 2009 at 8:15 pm Reply

We are neck and neck in this whole pregnancy thing. I’m so sorry you are so swollen, that can’t feel so fabulous. I’m getting to the point where getting this baby out would be a REAL good thing. BUT, um, the actual getting out part. I prefer not to think about that.