Its Okay. He €™s the Father.
Chris has been a natural so far in the parenting category. He’s attentive, funny, responsible, reliable. He’s just great.
One of the things I have struggled the most with as a new mom is how to not be so controlling. Chris is Beanie’s dad. He has every right to make decisions and judgment calls about him.
And most of the time, I’m alright with that. I trust Chris and I know Beanie does, too. So, I am learning how to sit back and let Chris do things his way.
But sometimes, Chris makes it really hard for me to keep my mouth shut. Especially when Beanie is squealing like its the most fun he’s had in his short little life.
It makes it very, very hard for me to sit there and trust his judgment.
His very questionable judgment.
Sometimes its damn near impossible to not scream out, “CHRIS! PUT THE BABY DOWN!”
But when I scream out, Beanie always gives me this look like, “Geez, Mom, settle down. We’re just playing…”
So I stop and I look at the two of them rolling around on the floor together or sitting on the couch watching football or doing their hair in the bathroom after Beanie’s bath. I look at that and I reassure myself that Chris is a wonderful father and Beanie is so lucky to have him.
And then I take a sedative to calm my nerves.
25 Comments
Amy
Just wait until Chris insists that your little, precious, 7-year-old, 1st-grade Beanie is big enough to go on the tallest, fastest, craziest rollercoasters at the amusement park! The ones that look like he could slip right out of those shoulder harnesses. I couldn’t even watch when my husband did that to me. I just had to sit with my head in my hands, eyes covered, and breathe deeply until I saw my child exiting the ride. Of course, she was grinning from ear to ear, saying it was the coolest ride ever. Traitor.
whitney
So presh. The bond between the daddy and son is just so special. Darin makes so many great judgement calls and sometimes I just love having another opinion and another “head” in this whole parenting thing. Oh, and I’m totally nominating you, my bloggy friend.
Katie
(I already nominated you, my dear. You’re in the SAHM category! Good luck!)
Ashley
I am praying for you, because I know when I get married and have a baby, I WILL NEED THE SAME PRAYERS 🙂 This must be so hard, and I already see myself having a problem with this in the future!! I think your doing great 🙂
Katrina
I am with ya… I am a control freak too, and sometimes It’s hard to let daddy be daddy. =)
Sarah H.
Mom’s and Dad’s give kids what they need in very different ways. Mom’s can give the nurturing, always feel safe feeling, and Dad’s let kids push limits and see what they can do- and rough and tumble. It’s all part of how it works I guess 🙂
Danimezza
I find it hard too but know that most of the time it’s best to bite my lip, especially when I know they’re both having fun. Thankfully Hubby is still afraid he’ll hurt the baby as he’s so tiny. Love the last photo.
Casey
holding the baby upside down scares the crap out of me! I used to let it be known how horrible an idea I thought it was but, I let it go now, the kids love it.
Laura
Oh lordy. I yell at my hubby all the time for being too rough. I guess I should be better and let him do his thing though. Pass the alcohol, please!
Dana
I have had this conversation with myself 1,000 times. He is the father. And I still have to remind myself all the time. Of course, the other night Daddy horsey “bucked” off the 5 year old who now has small rug burns on her nose. But he is the father!!
Katie
LOL!!! I’m already dreading the Daddy Horsey at our house!
Casey
Yay for Daddy love & fun… and yay for letting it happen!
Kaitlyn
That will probably be the same issue I deal with. Oh well… hehe. I just have to say, your child is absolutely adorable. He’s beautiful. His hair is freaking amazing! I just want to kiss those little cheeks! Okay, I’m done. For now. ;o)
naomi
I ma afraid of the same thing. I can be a controlling person…downright bossy and I am scared of being overbearingly controlling when my husband and I have kids. I’m guessing we should talk about how we can ‘manage’ my control-freakishness BEFORE we’re expecting.
Did you guys talk about it or anything before or after the Bean arrived?
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
You are so smart to keep your mouth shut. Dads bring something to the table that we just can’t and the more you keep your mouth shut, the more he participates in this whole parenting thing THUS freeing up your time!
Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com
I’m in the same boat. It’s hard for me to give up control, especially when I watch some of the stuff Donald does with Charlotte. But then again, I knew the job was perilous when I took it, right? =P
Daphne
What a great post, Katie! I worry about being controlling in our future family, too, and it’s wonderful that you can embrace Chris’s abilities as a father. Just keep breathing. 🙂
Kate
Ha! I am SURE I will be the same way when we are lucky enough to have a little one around. You are a smart woman to hold your tongue…
Jessica @ How Sweet It Is
This made me laugh. Your baby is gorgeous.
andrea
it took me a while to be able to step back and tell myself to let daddy do things his way, but the mommy in me still wants to speak up sometimes. when i have to speak up i’ve taken to starting sentences with things like ‘i know i don’t have to tell you this but…’ then i say my peace and drop it. my husbands cute cause he knows i’m trying and just lets me get it off my chest without ridiculing me, sweet right 🙂 i still linger and hover and try to be slick when i’m looking in on the two of them, but i know i’m not fooling anyone, it just makes me feel better. it’s tough being a mommy!
Athol
WHUMPF!
“Oh look the baby learned to roll over”.
True story. 🙂
Niki
I really enjoy your blog and have given you an award. You can find it at my blog. 🙂
TeamHaynes
I just love these pictures. I just think that father son bonding is such a beautiful thing in life. Sons need their dads for so many things that moms can’t give to them. I’m glad that you have held yourself back because it really is the best thing to let him parent like he should. You guys are such a good team together. Michael will benefit so much from both of you.
Alicia
Haha, my boyfriend and I actually have sort of the opposite problem when he goes to babysit with me. He sort of sits back and plays without actually touching the baby, and freaks out when I (gently and lightly) lift the baby/toddler in the air like an airplane and supported upside down. He tells me I’m not allowed to do things like that when we have kids (even though the baby we’re watching is having a blast). I do think though that I will have control issues when we do have kids, I just sort of think that a lot of mothers always feel that the child is a little more hers.
HeatherM
Colds and fevers are one thing, but roseola is rare, and can be very dangerous. It causes febrile (fever-related) seizures in 10-15% of the population who get it. And it is EXTREMELY contagious, and it’s a virus, so your kids can catch it over and over again. Honestly, I’m surprised the public health department has not shut your daycare down over this, and mandated extensive bleaching of all of the toys and surfaces where children spend their time. I know you had some reservations about your daycare before, but this should be a massive red flag.
I’m glad to hear that your babies have made it through this virus relatively unscathed, and that you are all doing better now.