Back to Normal

The last time I did a real, actual, day-in-the-life-of post, I was a bit…hmm….what’s the word?   Suicidal?   Homicidal?   Maybe its best to just go with under the weather.   I was a bit under the weather.   Bean was sick, constipated, and teething.   I was sleep deprived, stressed out, and dying of a cold.   And Chris was…well, he may actually have been suicidal.

In a nutshell, things were grim.

But, like always, I refuse to believe that I was put through that horror of a situation without being taught something.   Its taken one week and about three bottles of cough medication for me to find the lesson, but I think I’ve got it now.

Motherhood is about suffering.

That’s right.   Its about suffering.   Its about loving another being so incredibly much that even when you feel like there is no possible way for you to get out of bed and change a diaper, you find yourself hopping out of bed with some mythical energy and changing that diaper using every silly, sing-songy voice you can muster up, just so your baby Bean doesn’t have to be uncomfortable.   And even when your son then thanks you by peeing in your hair – twice – you still smile and say happily, “Its okay, Beanie!   Lots of protein for Mommy’s hair!”

Its about truly understanding what it means to put someone else first.   And on days when you just want to hide under a rock and demand that someone feed you soup and tell you how pretty you are when you’re sick, you still blow bubbles at bath time and you still read books using weird, character voices and you still blubber tummies just so that your baby Bean feels better for a little bit.

Yeah, motherhood is about suffering.   And its about silly songs and boring picture books and sometimes its even about bodily fluids.   But its also about unconditional love.   And in my limited experience, that trumps suffering every single time.

Being a Mom is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.   I feel unprepared and ill-equipped every single day.   But its amazing that with one smile or laugh from Beanie, I don’t even remember how bad I feel.   And when Beanie is too sick to smile or laugh, one raspy cough or wimpy little cry from him and I forget that I am sick myself.   It doesn’t matter if I spend two solid hours rocking a screaming baby.   It doesn’t matter how many times he pees on me or coughs in my face.   It doesn’t matter if he sleeps in 20 minutes intervals or if he stays awake all night long.   Whatever he needs, I’m there.   I’m his girl.   Cause I’m his Mom.

So, yes.   The last few weeks have been pretty low.   But that’s the thing about parenting.   The peaks are just so darn high, they make even the lowest of lows seem like potholes in the road.

Related posts

16 Thoughts to “Back to Normal”

  1. Thanks for this post. I just had to put my 3 1/2 week old down in his crib and walk out of the room because I thought I just might go insane from his unexplainable screaming.

    1. Katie

      Oh, hang in there. I’ve done that before and it just kills you. But it’ll get better. I promise.

  2. Sarah H.

    Aww, cute post. And cute sweater 🙂

  3. Jeska

    Such a sweet post. I’m glad you’re not homicidal anymore. (:

  4. Oh I love it. You said it perfectly. And you look soooo pretty! 🙂

  5. Wonderful words…do you know what? You just gave the gospel there…you said that parenting is suffering, but that it’s about unconditional love…which trumps the suffering every single time. I think parents can come a little closer to getting God’s love because they feel what you’re describing.

    1. Katie

      You caught that, huh? 🙂

    2. Amanda

      So true. I don’t think I truly understood God’s love until I had my son.

      There is just something about parenthood.

  6. Beautiful 🙂 Those pictures portray pure joy and bliss, another crazy aspect of motherhood!

  7. Nate's Mom

    Love love love this entry – beautifully written! Motherhood is the hardest job I’ve ever had – and NOTHING could have ever prepared me for it. You’ve perfectly said it all!!!

  8. ella

    Well said Katie! You are not alone – mothers all over the world go through this and survive. It does get easier as they grow but it changes. My son is 2 now and we are having major tamptrums but i know it wont last forever. Cute pics by the way 🙂

  9. Girlfriend, you are speaking my language. Mine and every other mother. Beautifully put.

  10. Tressa

    What an awesome post! You look beautiful!

  11. I could not have written this post better myself. The highs are so high that they do just wipe away the worst of times.

    My husband travels for work (6 weeks at a time) so most of the time I’m a “single parent” and lately I’ve been having a lot of struggles with it. But this post really helped me to feel better today. Thank you.

Leave a Comment