Daycare. Its Not For Weenies.
Bean has been in daycare for four months now. That’s so hard to believe, but at the same time it feels like he’s been there a lot longer. Having Bean in daycare was a hard decision, but a necessary one for our family. And it is just another example of how sometimes the hardest things are really such a blessing. To sum up our daycare experience, I’d have to say its been fantastic. Not just great. Not just wonderful. But fantastic.
You can use about a million different criteria for choosing a daycare, but after being in ours for a few months now and having such a positive experience, I’ll tell you the things that I love about our daycare and that I would look for again if I had to search.
I love that Bean’s class isn’t huge. There are six babies in the nursery that are kept by two full-time teachers and usually one other part-time aid. Having a smaller class, especially with infants, is nice because Bean gets a lot of attention. Sure, there are times when they have to let him cry for a little bit while they tend to other babies, but to be honest, I’m sort of glad. It has taught Bean even at this early age that he isn’t the center of the universe. He never has to wait for some good hands-on loving for very long, but those short periods of waiting are teaching him how to entertain himself, how to soothe himself, and how to be patient. I can see this in his little personality already and its something that I don’t know if I would have had the self-discipline to teach him myself.
I love that Bean has two consistent teachers every day. Throughout the day, there are part-time girls that rotate in and out of the nursery. And usually at some point or another, other teachers from different classes spend a few hours in the nursery each day, if for no other reason than to get their baby fix. But he has two teachers who are with him every day, and I could not have asked for nicer, more nurturing people to care for him. They are soft spoken and yet funny and relaxed with the babies. I have walked in before to find a room full of chaos, and in the middle of it all Bean’s two teachers are smiling and calm and seem to really be happy in their jobs. And I know that Bean can sense that confidence and happiness. He goes to those two women instantly and happily when I drop him off in the mornings and while the idea of him being happy with anyone else use to just make me so upset, there is no better feeling than knowing that when you leave your baby with someone, they will be happy to spend their day with them. And, unlike I had feared, Bean doesn’t prefer them to me. He might love them and like being in his classroom, but the minute I walk in the door, he only has eyes for me. Also, having the part-time teachers rotating in and out of the classroom has allowed Bean to get comfortable with strangers and people he doesn’t know that well. He isn’t a jittery baby and he hasn’t shown any signs yet of being scared of strangers. He is a little shy, but he doesn’t cry when I pass him to a friend or someone he may not be familiar with and I think that is because he is used to seeing people come and go in his class.
I love that I am allowed in any of the classrooms at any time of day. Bean’s daycare’s open-door policy makes me so happy. I am welcomed and encouraged to roam around any of the classrooms in the center at any time of day. I love the transparency this gives. I know all of the other teachers by name and they know me and who my son is. I just love walking in to pick up Bean and have every teacher happily greet me by name and ask about my family or work or whatever. It not only makes me feel secure that nothing is going on in that center that I don’t know about, but it makes me feel like I’m dropping Bean with close friends or family and not a daycare full of strangers.
I love that Bean has been exposed to children and adults of all races and ethnicities. Chris and I have a pretty wide-ranging group of friends. We have friends of all races, religions, sexual preference, etc. But its hard to introduce Bean to all of those things because most of them don’t have children of their own. With Bean being in daycare, he is around teachers, parents, and other children all of different backgrounds. In fact, one of Bean’s favorite teachers at his daycare is a young African American girl. He adores her. And so now, every African American girl that he sees, he reaches his arms out to be picked up. And somehow, that made me feel really proud of him. I want him to grow up exposed to all types of people and I want him to not see any of them as different from him. I think daycare is his first lesson in equality and, even at seven months old, I think that he is already taking that in.
I love that our daycare teachers are so honest about his daily disposition. I never get reports like, “Bean had a good day today.” Instead, its always things like, “Bean had a really good day today. He ate all of his sweet potatoes, but didn’t really want his applesauce. He also cried a little more than usual, but I think that was because he skipped his afternoon nap.” And sometimes its more like, “Bean had a really terrible day today. He cried a lot and even though we tried rocking him and cuddling him a little more, he was just in funk all day.” I know that those seem like horrible things to hear about your child, but I love that they are so honest. Good, bad, or otherwise, I know that they’ll tell me what is going on. I would be skeptical if I always got a sunny report, and hearing if he has had a particularly rough day helps me gauge how his evening will be. I also love that his teachers will sometimes call me at work just to tell me random things about his day. The first time he ate a full serving of solid food at daycare, I got a call with both of his teachers on the phone, cheering and telling me how much he ate and how he ate it! It was the greatest call! And, likewise, they will also call if they feel like something is off. If he’s running a fever or if he’s had runny diapers or even if he’s just crying a lot and they think I might need to come see him. They don’t call for these things unless its something they really feel is important, but they also don’t hesitate to call for something and I really appreciate that.
I love that there are extra sets of eyes watching out for Bean’s wellbeing. One of the hardest parts of living so far away from my family is that I don’t have other people around Bean enough to be able to tell when something is a little off. And, as a new mom, I was really nervous that I wouldn’t recognize the signs if something was wrong. Having two steadfast teachers who spend time with him every day is wonderful because I can talk to them about how he’s doing. When I worry about him not reaching a particular milestone, I always talk to his teachers about it. And they usually reassure me that all babies are different and that Bean is doing just fine and they promise to work with him on it a little every day. Or, if I think that something medically is wrong, they are an excellent second opinion before I go in to see my pediatrician. When Bean was about three months old, he started really screaming when I fed him his formula. After talking it over with our daycare teachers, they asked if I had talked to the doctor about the possibility of acid reflux. I had no idea if Bean’s reaction was normal or if it was really an issue. I didn’t have any other baby to compare him to! But at their urging, I talked to my doctor and we switched him over to a soy-based formula. He never made a peep when he ate again. Bean’s teachers aren’t pushy and they never make me feel like I know any less than they do (though I’m sure that’s the case!). They just talk with me like a friend or family member would and together we work through things.
It is true that its tough to put Bean in daycare. Its been four months and I still sometimes tear up on Monday mornings when I drop him off after a really great weekend. Or, like this morning, when Bean was attached to my hip and didn’t want me to leave. That’s rough. And, yes, I cry sometimes. But I never worry. I never question my decision. And I never consider any other possibility. I love that Bean is in daycare and I love the daycare that we have chosen.
So, if you’re a new mom or an expectant mom and you just have that aching in your heart every time you think about daycare, I understand. I had that same panicked feeling, too. But just know that it can be a truly fantastic experience for you, for your family, and for your baby.
27 Comments
Courtney
Thank you so much for this post!
Jen
I am not a mommy yet, but when I am… I will have to leave my little one at daycare. I’m so glad you wrote this because it reassures me that everything is going to be ok.
Thanks for that!
Ella
Thats great you found a good daycare centre for Beanie. Its hard picking the right centre. I visited about 3 centres – my son was about 3 months old when he started going to daycare. The first one was OK – he went a few times but i didnt feel comfortable, not sure why. The second centre was better but the room my son was going into was aged to 2 years. He went a couple of times but i didnt like that he was lying on the floor with bigger kids running around him. The third centre was perfect. I loved the girls straight away and my son went to them without crying. He still goes to the same centre and will until he goes to kindergarten. Hes going through a stage now that he cries when i leave him which is hard. I know he has fun there and is well looked after so i try not to stress about it. I dont know where id be with out daycare as i look forward to having a break & its important for my son’ social skills etc. Thanks for the post – i really enjoyed reading it.
Ashley
I love this post! I work at a daycare and some days it can be really tough, but ITS SO WORTH IT! I have my own class of four year olds every day and I am amazed every single day by how wonderful God is, and what a blessing children are! Hearing them say things like “Miss Ashley, I love you!” or “Miss Ashley, you sure are pretty today!” just makes everything that was bad in my day previously, instantely good! Do the teachers call Beanie Bean, or Michael??
The Lumberjack's Wife
Your little bean is too cute!
Leslie
I just love that you call him Bean!! It seems fitting for some reason 🙂 I noticed you said the daycare teachers call with reports…do they really call him Bean too??
Kimberly Loomis
Thanks for the post, and thanks for never taking the “stay at home moms need to get over it” stance in your posts. You talk about how you do things and how it’s right for you and I LOVE that! Right now I work during the day and my husband works from home (plus nights/weekends) and it’s so bass ackwards that many people don’t get it. But it’s what we do right now and it works for us!
Deb
I’ve never read a post like this before, it’s really nice to hear! We’re expecting and although we won’t need child care (I’m working 1st shift, my husband 3rd…we meet for dinner), I like hearing that you CAN go back to work AND be happy. That’s one of my fears, that I’ll miss my little person so much, too much and be miserable.
Kate
I feel like you wrote this post for me! We are 2 1/2 weeks away from our due date and after my maternity leave, we will be placing our son in a daycare we just toured. I am so happy to hear about your positive experience!
Heather O.
I felt the same way when we were looking at Daycare for my kids. Keeley didn’t start till she was 2 and then Dallas came along. He had to stat when he was 6 weeks old so I could get back to work. BOO! I loved his first class that he was in. About 6 months ago he moved into the toddler room. It’s ok however there are a few college students that just don’t seem so nurturing and it drives me crazy.
Dallas has taken a liking to a boy named Justin. He’s a nice college bot that has been with the center for about a year but is new to the toddler room. We are trying to brake Dallas of the binkie and EVERY morning he walks right up to Justin and hands over the binkie. Then the two sit together at the window and wait for the garbage trunk. LOL
Sarah H.
This is a wonderful post! It’s good to hear your perspective, because so many of the other blogs I read are from SAHM’s. And most likely–when the time comes– I’m not going to be a SAHM. So this is good 🙂
Christy
GREAT post. I just found out I am pregnant and was so stressed thinking about the fact that I can’t just be a stay at home Mom but will have to work-it was great to read this!
deepa
We have a nanny right now, but have signed up for day care starting this fall (we had no idea that wait lists were so long! i started looking for day care when my son was 5 weeks – rookie mistake). I am all about day care. My grandparents took care of my in India until I was about 15 months, and without day care, the transition back to America would have been very hard. Apparently, when someone would take a toy I wanted, I would bite them… Day care def helped in the English and “you aren’t the only baby in the world” department. I am so gald you have a day care you like! I hope ours works out just as well:)
Michelle
I have to tell you, Bean is one of the cutest babies I’ve EVER seen 🙂 He should be in one of those Charmin commericals 🙂
Katie
Thanks! I think so, too! He sat in that laundry basket for about 15 minutes and just played with his hands and feet. It was so weird and so funny!! And he looked so cute!! I can’t get enough of him!
Lana
I agree with Michelle- also, the picture where he’s playing with the tape in your office is too adorable for words!
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
Some good suggestions here Katie. It’s good to hear a list of the pros.
mindy@thesuburbanlife
I wish I would have read something like this before I put my first one in daycare. It definitely would have been reassuring! You forgot to add a couple of things, though: 1) I like that I get to share diaper duty, 2)I like that I now have someone to blame if my baby turns out to be an arsonist and 3) It’s nice to know I have people to help potty train when the time has come. In all seriousness, even though I stay home with my kids now, I do not regret one day my daughter had in daycare. She is a more well-rounded, patient, tolerant and loving kid because of it. Great post! =)
Mindy
http://www.thesuburbanlife.com
Stacy
Just so you know and maybe you do already, i got through both of my pregnancies w/ my girls with a lot of help from baby centercom. it was a huge help to me being a first time mom, and i still get weekly updates from them on what milestones they should be having etc. They will be 4&2 in April and I’m still learning from them weekly.
Katie
I subscribe to BabyCenter, too. I love their weekly updates!
Betty
1. I love BAbycenter and 2. i Love this post. Thank you so much for writing it. I will definitely be re-reading this post in the months to come!
Julie Size
Adorable post! AFter being married for 20years and raising 2 girls – I read your blog and laughed..thinking “Been there – done that!”
Julie
http://www.ridingaside.blogspot.com
Lindsey
Thank you for this post. I am already having a hard time reconciling the fact that my child will go to daycare. This really helped me look at the positive sides.
Laura
What a lovely post. You should print this out and give it to Bean’s teachers at daycare. It sounds like you regularly give them good feedback, but this is really a tribute to how hard they work everyday!
Nate's Mom
That is such a lovely post and you should totally give this to Bean’s teachers at daycare!!!
Lisa
What a great post! No kids for me anytime soon, and I don’t think I’ll be a stay-at-home-mom either. It’s nice to hear you’ve had such a great experience with daycare. You should definitely give this to his teachers, they deserve to know how much they are appreciated!
Marie
I love this post. I work in a daycare centre here in Ireland, and I WISH, that the place that I work in was as good as the one you have Bean in. We’re not allowed tell the parents if their kids have had a bad day, because ‘parents don’t like negative reports’ or at least that’s how the owner & manager put it. And as for parents being allowed to wander from room to room – well that’s not going to happen at all!
So it’s nice to read of daycare centres with family atmospheres, because that’s what it really sounds like it is. Now I want to move to America and work in Bean’s daycare centre! Think you could swing me a job? 🙂