Reader of the Month

Okay, friends.  It is April 1, which means that it is time for a new Reader of the Month!  Allow me to introduce you to Christina.

I have known who Christina is because she comments almost every day on my blogs.  But I actually “met” her through Twitter because she follows me and I now follow her.  I love getting to know my blog readers that way!  Christina has a beautiful family and I often check out her blog just to see what they are up to.  If you’ve got some extra time, you might want to pop on over and check out Five Walkers.  Spend a little time with them on their blog and you’ll want to invite yourself over for dinner.  I promise.

So, here we go…

What is your name?
Christina

Who lives in your house?
besides me…(and I’m 35)
Michael (33)
Michaela (9)
Christian (7)
Eliana (2)

How long have you been married?
12 and a half years-that sounds so weird.  I don’t feel old enough to have been married that long.

How did your husband propose?
Mike went to Israel for Christmas his junior year of college.  While he was there we had a conversation about ring sizes, and before he went we had talked about a future together for several months (we had only been dating that long, actually, but had known each other for a year before that).  He flew back into DC and since I was living with my parents in Richmond at the time and it was Christmas break, we all drove to the airport to pick him up, as well as a friend with whom he had traveled.  We were going to drive back to my house in Richmond, drop my parents off, get his truck, head to our college town to drop off our friend, and then the two of us were supposed to go on into the mountains of Virginia for an InterVarsity leadership retreat at the home of one of the leaders.  We did, indeed, drop off my mom and dad, and then drive to Farmville, Virginia where we delivered our friend to the dorm and then went on down the road to Mike’s college (our schools were about fifteen minutes apart, and had a joint InterVarsity Fellowship) so that he could clean up after being on his long plane trip before finally making our way to the retreat.  As the evening wore on, it got colder and we knew that it was supposed to snow; we didn’t want to get on the road too late, since we would be driving in the mountains, and it would be dark, and icy/snowy.  Just before we were ready to leave Mike asked if I wanted to take a walk.  I was a little nervous, since I kind of knew what he was up to, and I also knew what we were facing as far as our trip.  We went outside in the freezing cold, and the night was still clear.  The sky was black and the stars were bright.  His school’s campus is quite beautiful, and we were practically the only ones there since most everyone was still away on their break.  We walked down to the lake and sat on a bench.  He prayed with me…while I don’t remember every word he said, it was peaceful and scary at the same time.  He told me to keep my eyes closed and he said,”Christina, I love you and I always will.  Will you marry me?”  He put something in my hand (I bet you’ll never guess what it was!).  I was quiet for just a few seconds (I think that made him a little nervous), because I wanted to say exactly the right thing.  You see, I hadn’t yet told him that I loved him.  This may seem shocking, since we had dated for quite a while, and he told me all the time that he loved me.  I always said,”I know.”  It was kind of my way of saying,”I love you, too,” but because of some previous experiences (read – really stupid and hurtful mistakes) I didn’t want to throw the phrase around, and wanted to say it at just the right time.  I knew while he was gone that when he returned I would say it, and I prayed for the perfect opportunity.  God gave it to me.  My reply to his proposal was,”Mike, I love you.  I have for a long time.  And yes, I will.”  He put the ring on my finger and I think there was a kiss or two under the moonlight on that still, dark night by the water.  We knew we needed to get on the road though, so we didn’t linger long.  And then we had a hair-raising drive through ice and snow in order to get to our retreat.  But we made it.  And now almost 13 years have gone by!

What is your favorite part about being married to your husband?
Right now I love watching him be a dad.  He is so good with our kids.  He is funny with them, he is compassionate with them, and they know that he loves them very much.  He is also very stabilizing in our family.  I’m pretty much the nutjob and he is the even keel.  He is very insightful and helps me to see things in a new way; he challenges me.

What is the hardest part about being married?
It’s interesting…I could put the same thing here that I put above.  It is hard to be married because you find out a great deal about who you are, and it’s not always pretty.  I found out that I am more selfish than I knew I was.  The part about how he challenges me?  That is not always easy!  Being married is being two and becoming one…that is not something that happens naturally.  It’s supernatural; it’s spiritual.  I would also say that it can be painful.  But I can also say that it is rewarding in the end.  Unity is a beautiful thing, though it may take a little while or a long while to get there.  Sometimes it comes and goes!

What do you think is the “key” to your success in marriage?
Marriage may come easy to some; there are those couples who seem to have that storybook story (name that tale!), who were best friends for years and made a smooth transition from dating to wedded bliss.  For us, I would say we are committed to one another for the long haul, but it hasn’t been easy.  There have been some very difficult moments, and our marriage has been full of anything-other-than-normal circumstances.  We were in school for years, from college to post-graduate.  We’ve moved a lot.  We’ve had kids.  We’ve faced trials.  And in 12 years I think you would have to be delusional if you thought you could look someone in the face (or write someone on the screen) and say that there weren’t a couple of times when you wanted to throw your hands up in the air and say,”I quit!”  This is especially true for me, since I tend to be all-or-nothing; if I can’t do it perfectly, I quit.  But quitting marriage is not a real option for us.  And through those moments where we might struggle with the reality of living life WITH someone, really and truly with them, we have mainly to rely on the Lord who put us together in the first place.  So, I would say that knowing God brought us together is a huge factor.  I would also add that laughing together is very beneficial, and a healing balm when times are rough.  I’m going to get really honest here…I’ve just recently been through quite a rough patch.  My husband had to pick up a huge amount of slack while I, shall we say, visited the valley.  I have brought my eyes up to the hills though, and feel like I am making my way back out of a deep place; one thing I learned is that not only do I really need him, but that he needs me.  Seeing him through new eyes after and during my low point has given me a new perspective on him as well as our marriage.  We are in this together…still becoming one.

Did having children change your marriage?  If yes, then how?
Having children was good for our marriage in many ways.  I remember telling a friend of mine shortly after our first daughter was born that I felt like Mike was truly my best friend.  It is just amazing to watch him be their daddy.  It makes my heart feel so happy and full when I see him make them laugh or when I eavesdrop on a tender moment.  It’s also something that you know you did together.  Pretty cool.

When did you start your blog?
My husband started this blog for me the summer of 2008.  Now I’m a blogging fool.  (Minus the blogging at any given time.)

How often do you blog and how do you make time for it?
I blog five or more times a week, usually.  Sometimes there are less posts, but I enjoy writing, so I try to do it almost every day.  I almost always blog at the end of the day after my kids are sleeping (or at least in bed).  I would like to say that I do the dishes first, and get the floors swept and at least one bathroom clean before I sit down at the computer, but…that would be a big fat lie.  In an ideal world those things would be true, but I often do the computer thing and then do the housework thing.  There’s always tomorrow, right?

Why do you blog?
I blog because I can pretend I have an audience.  I know my mom always reads my stuff, and I can count on my dad, too.  Mike’s sister is a faithful reader, and his mom likes to catch up on our lives as well.  I know there are others who read most days, which makes me feel so good.  I really enjoy writing.  I like to express myself with written words; I feel like I can write things much better than I could ever say them out loud.  I love stories.  I have a secret dream to be an author (bloggers are very secretive, you know)…we’ll see.  I love to make people laugh.  My favorite thing is when I talk to my mom and she says she spit her drink out when she read what I wrote about our antics on a given day.  Finally, I blog because we are far away from family, and this is a fun way to keep everyone filled in on what we are up to.

What are your top three favorite blogs (other than MC, of course!)?
I’m going to leave the “Big Dogs” out of the list…I love so many blogs, though.  It’s ridiculous.  The Lumberjack’s Wife (thelumberjackswife.wordpress.com) makes me laugh every time.  I have been a reader of the McClenahan blog for quite a while now (themcclenahans.blogspot.com); their story is moving beyond words.  I also love Mindee (ourfrontdoor.us); she has become a very good blog friend of mine.  There are many more that I read every day (seriously, my list is probably 30 blogs long), and love just as much…how do you choose?!

What’s in your purse right now?
I hate purses…a necessary evil.  Here is what is in my purse (I’m going to check right this minute and I’m sure I will be mortified):  small front pocket – coupons, blue marker, a small monkey keychain that says “Christian” (very appropriate), some tiny word cards from a game that came in a Chick-Fil-A kid’s meal once;

second front pocket – keyring that belongs to my husband (I’m hoping he hasn’t been looking for that), two pens, a weird key (I think it was a decoration on a purse) a square band-aid, $.78, and my favorite lip stuff;

inside the main part – a lot of receipts (some in a baggie, because I try to be organized) but most floating around, coupons (see previous parenthetical statement), three little books from Chick-Fil-A kids meals (yes, I do go there a lot), a mint from Sonic, $.25, a contact case, a mirror, an old Target gift card tin that is empty, a pack of tissues, a pen, and my wallet.  Very boring, people.

Thanks for playing, Christina!  And thanks especially for coming back to visit every day.  You make me smile and its always nice to see comments from familiar faces!