Around the House,  Marriage Confessions

Murder on Mother’s Day

For my first Mother’s Day I woke up to beautiful pink and white daisies from Chris and Beanie.  They gave me the sweetest cards and two new sets of pajamas.  At 10:00 in the morning, my parents and Grandmother came over so that we could all go to church together and then Chris and I were taking them out to our favorite breakfast place.  It was going to be a fantastic day!

So, my mom, grandma, and I piled into one car with Beaner and Chris and my dad got into the other car and we planned to meet at the church.  Chris and my dad left first because – let’s face it – they don’t talk as much as the ladies do.  And the three girls chatted and cooed over Bean while taking our own sweet time getting in the car.

We were finally pulling out of my driveway when my mom gasped, “What is that in your driveway?!?!?”

And there in the driveway, laying just where my car had been sitting not one minute earlier, was a giant, silver snake. It was about four feet long and curled up, but definitely moving.

“OH MY GOD!”  my mom yelled.

“RUN!!!” yelled my Grandma.

“SAVE MY BABY!!!” I screamed.

It was total chaos in the car.  I couldn’t even hear what I was yelling myself over the shrieking and screaming from my mom and grandma.

“WE WERE JUST STANDING RIGHT THERE!”

“IT COULD HAVE CRAWLED RIGHT UP MY LEG!”

“SAVE MY BABY!!!”

And with that last war cry, I threw my car in drive and floored in forward.

“HIT IT!!!”

“KILL IT!!!”

“SAVE MY BABY!!!”

After a slight bump as I drove over the snake, I slammed on my brakes and the car was instantly silent.  We all sat there, staring at each other.

“Do it again,” said my mom.

So, I backed my car up.  Bump, bump

And then I drove forward.  Bump, bump

Then I backed my car up.  Bump, bump

And I drove forward again.  Bump, bump

“Okay,” said my mom.  “I think that did it.”

This time, I backed my car all the way to the end of the driveway and we all cringed and squealed at the bloody mess of dead snake on my driveway.

“EW!”

“OH MY GOD!”

“I saved my baby.”

And with that, we settled back into our seats and went to church.

As I sat in church and bowed my head in prayer, I made sure to thank the Good Lord for my mom and for my grandma.  They taught me everything I know about being a mother myself, about having strong confidence, and about killing reptiles in my front yard.

And for that, I am forever grateful.

64 Comments

  • Janet

    Ha, I’m right with you, but I bet you’ll catch some heat from snake lovers, lol…I don’t think I’ll be moving to FL any time soon! Hope you had a great Mother’s Day 🙂

  • Elisabeth

    Hilarious! I would have reacted the same way. And then made sure my husband arrived home first to clean it up while I went out and had brunch with the ladies. Hope you had a wonderful (mostly snake free) Mother’s Day!

    • Sarah H.

      There is no “aww” anything when it comes to snakes. Nothing abou them makes me like or humanize them. They are very scary creatures that need to be killed when they enter our property.

  • Sandy

    I would have done the same thing. You seriously need to get some moth balls. Put them all around your house. (outside) Make sure it stinks of moth balls really good. Keep those things away, far, far away. I hate those things, I can’t even say the word. I don’t care how big or little they are they must not be anywhere near my house. Crack me up! The worst part of living in Florida I think.

  • Chris

    FYI – That snake was really like 2 feet long, not 4. And I think it was the baby because that was not the one I have been chasing. Its much bigger. But don’t tell Kate. 🙂

  • Chelsea

    Ew. I am taking a personal day to get over a cold and this made my morning. A few years ago, when I was in college, my brother found a tiny little snake curled up by the water heater at my family’s house. To this day, if I come home and have to go down there I warn people to listen for my screaming and race down and out as fast as possible. Congratulations on being so brave.

  • kay

    i hate, hate, hate snakes. but i don’t think i would have killed it. especially not on mothers day! sad. other than that i hope your first mothers day was grand.

  • Maybelline

    no matter how long it was, it’s a snake and therefore I hate it and all his reptile family and relatives. That’s one of the things I hate about Florida. I’m with you Katie

  • Shelley

    I despise snakes. I despise Florida. I despise heat. Repeat over and over ad nauseam.

    However, pay attention to Sandy’s advice. It works. I love mothballs. Around our house there are far fewer bugs, haven’t seen a lizard in ages, and the black snake I saw a month ago has at least moved somewhere where I do not see him. The mothballs interrupt their food supply so they’ll go elsewhere.

    I have dogs, like you, so unfortunately there’re out for the back yard. I have resorted to firecrackers. Yeah boy, they get the h#ll out of Dodge around firecrackers, but those aren’t safe (or legal?) in some areas. Another impromptu “tool” is wasp and hornet spray. The stuff that’s good to 12-15 feet. They don’t like that either.

    If my husband is around, his tool of choice is the hoe. And that’s the end of that.

    Be careful though. Those creepy things climb trees, stucco houses, drain pipes. Don’t assume they’re only on the ground.

  • Mary

    Oh. My. Goodness. I had a snake come out at me from INSIDE MY CAR. Luckily I was getting out though. And then lucky for me, I had to watch my car be towed to the service station because they couldn’t find it. Then, lucky again for me, they found it 2 hours later. Snakes give me the pee-pants feelings

  • Erin

    Oh no Katie! Good job killing it, I hope you made Chris clean up the mess.

    I had a dead snake in the driveway when I was house-sitting for a friend. Thankfully it was the same day the yard guy was there doing work so he picked up and threw it in the trash for me.

  • Kelley

    Impressive Katie. I would call on you to appropriately handle an emergency. 😉

    Thank God for city living. The lack of yard space has it’s advantages.

  • Tracy

    Oh, snakes are awful! AWFUL!

    Why would someone say that would NOT kill it? I do not understand that way of thinking. Who cares what day it is? KILL IT. KILL IT DEAD. Good job Katie!

    When I was in college I lived in a duplex. I remember one day I was laying out or washing my car or something in the driveway and my boyfriend (now husband) came over and he got ready to walk in the house and saw a big black snake laying across the doorway. I just about fell out. I had no idea that thing had been out there with me! This snake was angry too because when he chased it away from the door it didn’t just slither away (I’m getting the heebeejeebeeies telling this), it decided to fight back. My hubs literally chased this snake and it raised up and was trying to strike at him! It was the craziest and scariest thing to watch. He beat the snake to death, seriously. With a huge log/stick that was laying beside the house. And every day for like 3 months I checked the bushes by my front door before going in and out of my house.

    I agree with Megan… I am horrified as well.

  • Katie

    Ewww! Just reading this makes me want to curl into a ball and scan my surroundings for lurking reptiles. Thankfully, snakes aren’t very common here in MN.

  • Joanne

    Hahahaha, thats so funny, ‘save my baby’ hahaha, at least u got out of there safe, but what is it with florida and reptiles?

  • deana

    I do not like snakes but I do respect them. We have plenty of black snakes around our property but these are not dangerous, nor poisoness so I do not kill them. I know that they eat other snakes as well as bugs and mice and such. I can understand being afraid but running it over??? If you would have just gotten out it would have run away. They are more afraid of you then you are of them.

  • allison

    Oh, gross!!!!!!!! I would have done the same thing. Who knows if that thing could have found its way into your house…through the pipes or something. OMG I am horrified just thinking about it.

  • Lindsey

    I have to disagree. The snake wasn’t threatening you in any way. Snakes do not strike humans unless provoked.

    Snakes eat rats. I would much rather have a snake around than rats. Rats are the truly evil creatures, they will attack a baby. They are disgusting and vile and totally give me the heebie jeebies. I am thankful for anything that would deal with them for me.

    • Laura

      I also disagree with everyone on this matter. The fact that you would all kill an innocent creature, and that you’d do it with pleasure, saddens me. 🙁

  • Life of a Doctor's Wife

    You make me laugh so hard!

    I grew up in an area where snakes were verrrrry common in the summer. Poisonous snakes. My dad always used to chase them down with a shovel and… ahem… dispose of them. But I don’t think I would ever have the guts to ram one with my car!

  • StacyRae

    Katie,

    From one snake-hater to another, I THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

    A few years back, I mowing the lawn and saw a snake slithering out ahead of my path. What could I do!? I put the mower in full gear (blades on!) and chased it around the yard until I finally ran over the evil creature. Then, I parked the mower, sprinted into the house, and officially declared lawn mowing a “man’s job.”

    I haven’t looked back (or regretted!) it yet.

  • Emilyc

    I am glad you saw it after you got in the car and not before, and thanks for not posting pictures of the remains! 🙂 I hate snakes and their remains.

  • Meghan

    Horrible. Absolutely horrible. And horribly funny at the same time.

    The mental image of all the screaming…priceless!! My Mom and I would probably be doing the same thing if we were in your situation.

    I hope your Mother’s Day went much better than the snakes 🙂

  • Sandy

    TRY THE MOTH BALLS!!! A couple of weeks ago I was at my sisters and they were chasing a copperhead. He would go into their natural areas and then shoot right back out because he couldn’t stand the moth balls…although, it smells like grandma’s house withing a two block radius =-)

  • Anne

    Katie,

    Many of my friends in Atlanta swear by Snake Away which can be purchased at Lowe’s (and probably Home Depot) if you don’t want the mothball smell.

    That way maybe you, Chris, Bean, Molly and Lucy (I think that’s correct) can just ignore the fact that these creatures exist around your home.

    I can’t kill them – but I don’t want to see them either!

    And, don’t even get me started on lizards/iguanas. I feel the same way about them – just stay away from me and all is well.

  • Claudia

    As a firm snake hater, I applaud you in killing this horrible creature. Anything is fair in love, war and the life of your baby 🙂

    And now, if you will excuse me, I will go sit in a corner and suck my thumb until the image of the snake is out of my head. Ben & Jerry’s is welcomed to make me feel better. Thank you.

  • Jaclyn

    Oh my goodness, I think I would’ve had the EXACT same reaction haha. Especially if my mom was in the car – she is absolutely terrified of snakes (even watching them on TV!). We had a close encounter when I was a baby, and our neighbor had to rescue us wielding a golf club instead of a sword 😉

  • Jessica W

    It’s easy for me to sit here and say “Aw the poor thing wasn’t hurting no body, you could have had animal control take it or something. They kill mice and other icky things.” But I am also honest enough with myself to know that if I were you, I would have done the same thing… I would have freaked out and screamed “Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!” Keep in mind, listening to our instincts is what kept our ancestors alive. Instincts that said “run!” or “kill it ’til it’s dead” prove very useful!

  • Heidi

    Way to go Katie! I used to work at a golf course and had to vacuum every morning. One morning, there was a little garter snake slithering on the carpet. I freaked out at the sight of 6 maybe, 7 inch snake and vacuumed it up!! I then had to call my step dad to come out and clean the vacuum. I don’t know what I would have done, if I wasn’t vacuuing at the time!!

  • RJD

    For cryin’ out loud, you live in Florida! What do you expect? And I found the story very sad. If you or your baby had been in danger, I could understand it but you were in the car. We don’t go around killing things that probably won’t ever bother us, so why snakes? For heaven’s sake people, grow up.

  • Cassie

    Unless it was a venomous snake, it was harmless. Probably keeping the rodent population down. You should find some information about venomous snakes in your area so that you can identify which ones would pose a threat to your family, and which ones are just helping you out. But killing something just because it makes you nervous is sad for that poor creature. It was probably just hanging out on your driveway for the warmth…

  • Kelly

    Ok, I plugged for you over at PW Confessions. You know, since she’s in your general neighborhood, and all. More or less.

    I haven’t read this post yet. I just wanted to tell ya that. But with a title like “murder on mother’s day”, sounds just like my crappy, er, mother’s day.

  • Christina

    This is one of my favorites so far. I am laughing, laughing so hard. I can hear you all, see the scene.
    You are woman, hear you roar! Or scream and hit the gas. That works, too.
    Love it!!

  • Kristin

    I am also afraid of snakes. Our new house has a beautiful backyard and I’m afraid I will never ever ever step foot in it again (or let my dogs) if I ever see a snake back there. I’m almost afraid to weed the flower beds b/c I’m afraid a snake will be there. Ryan suggested I make a lot of noise but then kindly informed me that he was not referring to my terrible singing. Nice. But I’m serious, I will probably have a nightmare tonight just because I read this. 🙂 PS: Hope you had a great mother’s day!

  • Beanie's Nana

    1. All snakes are deadly. They cause you to have a heart attack when you see them.
    2. How does anyone know a snake is more afraid of us than we are of them? I’ll believe that when I hear a talking snake.
    3. Running over a snake 3 times with your car sure makes a mess of the driveway.

  • anon

    That’s slightly awful. 🙁
    I hate snakes just as much as the next gal, but I’d lock the door and call my husband to come grab it and throw it out into the woods.
    I say this with confidence because that is what I usually do. I don’t think I or my husband have ever killed any bug, spider, lizard or any other thing for that matter.
    I’m not a hippie or anything but there is something sacred about life and a living creature going out and trying to make a life for itself.
    She was probably lost or finding mice since food has become scarce.

    I never post, but I read daily and this one just kinda couldn’t go with everyone on board and rooting for the kill because it’s not a horrible creature. It just looks ugly.
    How would you feel if an alien came to Earth and killed you just because you were fat or ugly, even though you were pretty much harmless?

  • earthtone

    I’m no snake lover, blueh! But to read the part where it’s run over so many times is not entertaining either.

  • deepa

    If you guys were already in your car why not just drive away? Without your car there, the snake would have had to find shade elsewhere.

    I am also the person who has to deal with rather large monkeys in the yard when visiting her family in India;.I am aaaaaaaall about avoidance. Let and let live, I say.

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