Death by Florence Nightengale
Last week Bean had a cold, which means that this week I have a cold. Ahhh…the joys of parenting.
Chris is really great when I’m not feeling well. He makes sure that I get enough rest and that I am taking my medicine. He pitches in more around the house and he watches Bean while I take naps.
He would be the perfect nurse.
If only he wasn’t trying to kill me.
Chris and I handle sickness very differently. When Chris is sick, he takes his medicine religiously. Like a clock, every four hours he takes his two cold pills and they do everything they advertise for him. His coughing, sneezing, aching, stuffy head, and fever subside so he can rest. But for me, if there are any side effects from medication then I’m going to get them. You know that warning that says not to operate heavy machinery? That warning is for me. I get so woozy when I take anything. In fact, I react so oddly to medication that I have to take daytime cold pills at night and nighttime cold pills during the day. But even when I do that, it still doesn’t seem to ever make me feel better. I’m not sick for any less amount of time and my symptoms don’t go away. So, I try to not take it. It makes me loopy and it doesn’t help.
And that’s when my nurse starts to hound me. And hound me. And hound me. He calls me from work all day, making sure I’ve taken my medicine. And when I lie and say that yes I took it, just so he’ll get off my back about it, he comes home and checks the pill count. A loving, caring husband trying to get his wife better? Possibly. OR, he’s trying to keep me loopy so he can steal my last box of Girl Scout cookies…
We also differ in where we are sick. When I’m sick, I want to be in my bed. Cozy under my covers and sleeping for hours. In Chris’ house growing up, when you were sick you got a Sick Bed. A Sick Bed is a bed made up on the couch for you during the day. You go to your own bed at night, but during the day you lay around on your Sick Bed on the couch. Now, personally, I don’t want to be in my living room with the dogs and the baby and my husband and the television when I’m not feeling well. I want to hide from the world in quiet solitude. But every time I try to go to bed, like a normal sick person, Chris tries to keep me out on the couch. He forces me into a Sick Bed. Which means I sit on the couch, sick and slightly pissed off, while Bean violently pats my face and the dogs lick my feet. And when I’ve had enough and I get up to go to bed, my nurse starts whining, “Don’t go to bed yet! Not yet! Stay out here! You need your Sick Bed!” A sweet husband who wants to spend more time with his wife, even while she’s sick? Possibly. OR, he wants me to stay close so he can make sure I stay medicated and loopy so he can steal my last box of Girl Scout cookies…
Now, I am generally a good sport about Chris when he’s “taking care of me.” He takes his nursing job very seriously and he gets his feelings hurt if I don’t accept his help when I’m not feeling good. So, I take my medicine when he’s standing over me shoving it down my throat and I stay on my Sick Bed during the day when he’s home. But I draw the line at the Sweat It Out theory.
At some point in Chris’ life, someone told him he needed to “sweat it out” when he was sick one time. Ever since, Chris believes that when you are not feeling good – and especially if you have a fever – you should do the following steps in the following order:
1. Take Tylenol.
2. Put on winter, wool socks.
3. Put on flannel pajama pants.
4. Put on a short sleeve shirt.
5. Put on a long sleeve shirt.
6. Get under at least three blankets.
7. Sleep through the night.
In these conditions, you will sweat out your sickness overnight and will wake up refreshed and healthy. The thing is that the two times you don’t ever want to talk to me are when I’m either sick or too hot. So, Sweating It Out is like waking a sleeping bear with me. I’m hot and feverish already and there is no way in God’s green earth that I am going to wrap myself in wool anything and crawl under layers of blankets. I get claustrophobic and I feel like I’m dying.
The ONE TIME I did this was the first few months we were married. I thought it was soooooo cute that Chris was trying to help me get better. So, I let him feed me cold pills and I happily climbed into my Sick Bed and when he pulled out my camping socks good for weather below 30 degrees I laughed, told him he was silly, kissed him, and put on the socks. I climbed in bed that night feeling happy from all the love my newly minted husband was giving me.
I woke up at 1:00am that morning in a pool of sweat, dying of thirst, and feeling 100 times worse than when I went to bed earlier. In the middle of the night, I peeled sweaty, wet clothes and socks off of my body, dragged out my fan, and slept naked with my fan in my face for the rest of the night. I didn’t speak to Chris for three days.
Ever since, I won’t even let him hint about Sweating It Out. I don’t care if it’s the right thing to do. I don’t care if the Surgeon General of the United States came out with a statement that said, “Katie, you need to Sweat It Out.” I don’t care about any of it. I’d rather be sick for the rest of my life.
So, as you can see, I try not to get sick. It’s just better for my marriage if I stay healthy and Chris doesn’t have to be my nurse. Then, he doesn’t get his feelings hurt and I don’t have to call my sister, crying, telling her that I think my husband is trying to nurse me to death. Chris says this makes me the worst patient ever and he’s probably right. I just don’t like to be taken care of or messed with when I’m not feeling good. So for now, Chris will have to find someone else to nurse.
I’d love to see him try to sweat out Lucy. Chris would be the only grown man I know to be mauled to death by a Chihuahua-mix dog.
28 Comments
Megan (Best of Fates)
I’m not saying Chris *is* trying to kill you, and I’m not saying he *isn’t* trying to kill you. I’m saying, you still have Girl Scout Cookies left? What? How is that humanly possible? I demand proof.
And by proof, I mean Girl Scout cookies in my mailbox.
Alaina
I love the Nyquil commercial quote. Classic, and I think the sweating it out thing sounds like pure torture. Ugh.
You should go out and buy yourself some of that Edy’s Girl Scout Cookies ice cream to make yourself feel better and eat it in your actual bed, not your sick bed 🙂 I say go for it. Hope you’re feeling better!
Amy
Great post! I love how families have different sick traditions. When I was growing up, if you had to throw up, you made sure you made it to the toilet. But one of my best friends always had a barf bowl at her house, like, a bowl completely dedicated to catching barf. Anytime anyone was sick, they got the barf bowl. I always found that strange, but now that I have kids who are little and don’t always realize they are about to be sick, I realize the genius of the barf bowl. Ours now lives under the bathroom sink.
Jessica @ How Sweet
Hope you feel better! I also don’t like to take medicine because I feel NO different. I have heard about sweating it out, but being hot is the thing I hate most in the world. No thanks.
Sarah R
It’s real cute that Chris wants to take care of you. My husband steers as far clear as he can, if he had a 10ft pole he’d use it to give me stuff…at least ever since he caught the flu from me, he stays far far away.
and I’m a pediatric RN and we don’t sweat our kids fevers out….we strip them and cool them off (and I’ve seen some insanely high fevers).
lauren
…dont tell my secret, but i was really sick (morning sickness for like 3 months) when our 10 boxes of girl scout cookies came in and so i hid them. they are STILL hiding in our linen closet away from my husbands hungry tummy.
Mindee@ourfrontdoor
Yes. Yes he is trying to kill you. In what world does it seem like a good idea to raise your temperature and get dehydrated when you’re already sick?
I’ll tell you what world: Crazy World.
Rich has side effect dysfunction too. He weighs well north of 200 pounds but one dose of Ny-Quil puts him into a near coma for a full 24 hours. Not good.
Kate
Hate to tell your husband this…but I’m nearly positive that “Sweating it out” doesn’t have true medical benefits. He just wants you distracted to get those cookies 🙂
http://www.klmphotos.wordpress.com
Life of a Doctor's Wife
Mmmm…. Girl Scout Cookies…
I’m pretty sure I’d do a lot of shady things for some thin mints. So can you really blame Chris?
By the way, I’m so sorry you’re sick! Hope you feel better soon.
Jen
Your next shopping visit to the grocery…go to the organic/healthy food section and pick yourself up a product called Umcka made by Nature’s Way. The tablets work but I prefer the “pixie stix” as we call them in our house. You actually pour the stuff onto your tongue as if it were a pixie stick and it tastes heavenly. It does work but I would say that it works even better if you start taking it right along with whomever else is already sick in your house…then you are assured not to get sick yourself.
Oh and I suggest finding a new hiding spot for your girl scout cookies…hubbys tend to get into things while their wifeys are out of commission.
Dawn
We had a sick bed on the couch when I was growing up, and the FEW times as an adult that I have been “able” to make one for myself, my husband has looked at me wierd. Maybe the look has been more because of my excitement during my illness as having an excuse to get set up on the couch – where I end up sleeping for hours on end.
BUT, he is afraid of my cootie bugs when I am sick – though he takes GREAT care of me from a distance – like making tea for me and leaving it JUST within arms reach so he doesn’t risk catching whatever I have.
Then when he is sick, poor baby, I tell him to suck it up, he isn’t THAT sick!!! I guess he got the raw end of THAT deal.
MaryGene
I’m an RN too, and I don’t think the “sweating it out” concept is legit. Sounds like an old wives tale to me. When you have a fever, your body is essentially cooking itself to try and kill whatever is making you sick. To a certain degree, a fever is an ok thing (still take tylenol, though!) and when your fever “breaks” usually you get a little sweaty. But sweat it out?? Nah.
RACHEL
aww feel better soon xx
Jen
Katie, my brother is a redhead also and he’s always been told that “you people” react to medications differently. He’s especially been warned to be careful if he had to be put under for surgery because coming out of it is especially hard for you guys. Again, not sure how much truth is to this claim (although he’s heard it from doctors) and I know that everyone is different but something for you to think about and use next time Chris is shoving medications in your direction!
Katie
You know, I had always heard that, too, and was suspicious about it until Chris’ uncle, who is a doctor, told me that that was actually true. It’s not just redheads (though we are more prone) but anyone with really pale skin. I heard it also from the anesthesiologist when I had a c-section! Weird!
Michaela
No way! That is so interesting!
Everytime, I want to buy new foundation, the sales assistant says she’s sure she can help – but no, I have learned to stick to the few brands I know can accommodate my ‘English Rose Beauty’ (read: vampire skin)
AND I have big reactions to medication – mostly good, ie, half a dramamine and I will sleep through an 8 hour plane trip. But I had surgery recently, and I was so dizzy due to the anaesthesia I couldn’t drive for a week after.
May also explain why I’m a terrible sick person – I love my cold and flu tablets, but all I want to do if I take them is not talk to anyone, curl up under a blanket with trashy reality tv, and drift in and out of consciousness until it’s all over. Which is why it can be tough going when my partner is looking after me. Trying to teach him the rules of – leave me food and the flatscreen, then begone with you – without hurting his feelings is tough.
allison
What’s this? You mean I’m not a hypochondriac and that it’s just my see through skin and red hair? My family will be so relieved!
Betty
I hope you feel better soon!! But I must admit, that is hilarious about Chris nursing you to death. I had a “bout” today at work and Matt had to come pick me up. His solution to fainting during pregnancy: stuffing pre-natal vitamins down my throat. Ummm, thanks but no thanks. So, I empathize.
Julie
1. I hope you feel better.
2. Isn’t it just like a man to want to “fix” sickness and come up with a crazy plan to do it? My favorite so far is the chocolate theory. Bump to the head? Give the 2 year old chocolate!
3. Chocolate makes everything better. See #1, get some chocolate for yourself.
dave
Good post. I personally support the sweat it out theory. It works for me. When I have fever, I go to bed fully covered with sweater, socks and blankets in a stuffed room, no a/c or fan. I always feel better waking up with sweat. I also eat only hot, spicy foods when I’m sick and avoid foods that can make you cold like yogurt, cucumber etc.
I don’t really trust scientists trust for everything. Just gut feeling sometimes.
Shelley
It could be worse. He could have used a vaporizer.
Marla
I hope you start feeling good soon!
Marla @ http://www.asthefarmturns.wordpress.com
Abby @ They Lend Me Their Hearts
It’s funny mentioned sweating it out, because that’s kinda what I do! When I have a fever I feel really chilled and desperately want to be bundled up in sweatshirts and blankets and warm socks. Then I fall asleep and wake up in the morning I am really sweaty but my fever has broken and I feel better!
I think we just need to do what feels right for our sick bodies.
Kat
No matter what’s wrong, my fiance is always giving me water. Headache – glass of water. Nausea – glass of water. Cold, – glass of water. 🙂
Chelsea
Sweat it out!?! WHAT!?!! The idea of having to make myself hot when I am sick makes me feel sick now. I cannot handle being hot when I am healthy. In fact, if I wake up hot in the night I start to feel a panic set in. Good luck Katie!
Vanessa
I never comment but I had to, because I feel like I wrote this, my husband does the same thing, and gets really offended if I dont let him *take care of me*!!
We are both doctors but I usually take the none medication route as he tries to medicate me all day long!
Leah @ StirredNotShaken
This is so funny because this week my husband and I are going through the exact opposite. He has strep throat, and he thinks I am trying to kill HIM. When I’m sick, I just want to eat eat eat eat eat. So I am constantly offering him food – smoothies, milkshakes, doughnuts, soda, popcorn, cheese sandwiches – and all he wants to do is to be left alone and drink some water and not eat anything! I can’t understand so I keep trying to forcefeed him and he is NOT happy about it :).
I actually just wrote a post about illness in marriage on my blog so it was too funny to read yours. Great post!
Stephanie
I hope you feel better soon!! I’m with you on the not taking medicine — it doesn’t seem to help me, either.