Marriage Confessions

Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

September 15, 2010 /

Last week I got a lovely email from a reader who is about to get engaged.  She wanted to know what questions she should ask herself about her partner before saying, “I do!”  That got me thinking about when Chris proposed to me and the months leading up to that.  I know we were talking about marriage at the time, but I can’t for the life of me remember what important questions I asked myself.  I probably should have asked things like, “Can I see myself growing old with him?”  “Do we handle finances the same way?”  “How do we each feel about children?”

Brown (115 of 182) ps

Alas, I was not that practical when Chris and I got hitched.  Today though there is a whole list of questions I ask myself on a day to day basis about my relationship with my husband:

“Does he not hear the baby crying?”

“Why does he pile dirty clothes next to the clothes hamper?”

“Is he blind?”

“Is he deaf?”

“Why does he think flip flops are appropriate wedding guest attire?”

“Would it kill him to change a diaper once in a while?”

“Can he not hear the dogs barking?”

“Did he forget my birthday?  Again?”

“Did he forget our anniversary?   Again?”

“Will he care if I don’t shave my legs?  Again?”

“Why is there a six foot beer lamp in our garage?”

“How many times can a person watch Wipe Out and still laugh?”

“Did he really just teach Bean to say boobs?”

“Could he just once help before I have to ask him?”

“He bought what?!?!”

“Did he really just call me hormonal?”

“Does he have a death wish?”

“Why does he point every air vent in the car on me?”

“Why can’t he finish one bag of pretzels before he opens another?”

“Can’t he hear how loud he is when he chews ice?”

“Could he be any louder?”

“Is he trying to mumble so I can’t hear what he’s saying?”

“Hasn’t he had those same shoes since high school?”

“Why doesn’t he fix the things that I ask him to fix?”

“Where’d he put my vitamins?”

“Did he take my last piece of gum?”

“Did he just use the last clean towel?”

The funny thing is that no matter how many of these questions I ask myself throughout the course of a day, I still find the question I ask myself the most is, “How’d I get so lucky?”

Brown (112 of 182) ps

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46 Comments

  • kk

    September 15, 2010 at 8:27 am Reply

    my hubby finds me loud all the time instead.
    haha..
    When i was getting married it was all i could think was i can’t be without this person. Even today, I know i can’t be without him 🙂

  • Lori @ I Can Grow People

    September 15, 2010 at 8:36 am Reply

    Psst, hey. Chris. You know this isn’t the first time your wife has mentioned that diaper changing in your house is rather one-sided. You probably should help her out with the diaper changing. Or else–you never know where one of those dirty diapers is going to end up. Like in that beer lamp…

  • Kristen

    September 15, 2010 at 8:48 am Reply

    My husband also laughs uncontrollably at Wipeout. Somehow watching overweight people bounce off those big reg balls never gets old. But hearing HIM laugh like that just makes me laugh so I suppose I can handle it!

  • Tressa

    September 15, 2010 at 8:48 am Reply

    Love the list!!
    I also ask myself how I could get so lucky to have my husband!
    Somethings we just have to over look 😉
    Good luck on the first day of school! Have fun
    I hope Bean man does well at school too!!

  • Jamie

    September 15, 2010 at 9:13 am Reply

    I feel your pain on the dirty clothes. Only, my husband doesnt get them anywhere NEAR a hamper. He spreads them out all over the floor on his side of the bed. Sometimes he lays them out flat in case he wants to wear it again, but most of the time its just a bunch of tiny one item piles all over the floor. It looks like a teenager is living in my bedroom. Drives. Me. CRAZY!!

  • Alaina

    September 15, 2010 at 9:24 am Reply

    Ha, being 3 days (oh dear lord!) away from getting married myself, I do ask a lot of these same questions of T. “Why does he insist on clinking his spoon in his mouth when he eats ice cream? Does he really need to use that much toilet paper? Am I the only one who thinks it’s not ok to fart at the dinner table? Or to talk about it after you do it?”

    That being said…I do feel like I’m the luckiest woman in the world. I can’t wait to marry him. Thanks for posting this!

  • Cavegirl

    September 15, 2010 at 9:25 am Reply

    i think the main thing i asked myself before marriage is “can i live with him and not want to beat him to death with my pillow?”. i figured that is a pretty important quality to have-either the ability to not annoy me to that point or have really good escape reflexes. and my husband is 2 for 2! we have a winner! the rest of the stuff is just bonus. like, why doesn’t he ever use a glass to drink anything when we have 24 beautiful crate and barrel glasses? why does he think the dishwasher will eat his hands if he goes anywhere near it? all things to be discovered down the road of marriage

  • Ashley

    September 15, 2010 at 9:31 am Reply

    I ask myself (and Rob) how I got this lucky all the time. 🙂 At the end of the day, despite the beer lamp in the garage, him not hearing how loud something is, the holey socks he insists on wearing, etc…”How did I get this lucky?” is the only question that really matters.

  • MistyK

    September 15, 2010 at 9:47 am Reply

    I love it! Before the big day i had only one thing to ask. How will it be in a ‘knock out drag out fight?’ Some how over years of dating and months of engagement, we’d faught but never bhig time. Two days before the big day though, we had it out. And i happily walked down the isle knowing that we could make it even when things got bad.

  • Stephanie@ourmarriageadventure

    September 15, 2010 at 9:50 am Reply

    LOL I think I ask myself at least half of those same questions every day. However, in regards to marriage – my Momma always told me to ask myself “Could I see myself wiping X’s bum when they were unable to do so for themselves?” Gross, but so true. Because its really, do you love them enough to take care of them completely when they are unable to do so for themselves.

  • Katie M

    September 15, 2010 at 9:51 am Reply

    I tell Merrick that despite how crazy he drives me, I’d rather be driven crazy every day with him than ANY day without him.

    My Grandma used to say, “you know why women used to die in childbirth? Because no man and woman can survive 50 years without trying to kill the other…” and there they were, 55 years later, still driving each other crazy, but still loving like crazy 🙂

  • Suzanne

    September 15, 2010 at 10:51 am Reply

    Mine not only leaves clothes ON TOP of the hamper (why? just why??), he’ll say “Suzanne” and when I look, he’ll throw the clothes on the floor. He’s just trying to get a rise out of me. and it works.
    I feel the exact same way, minus the baby stuff, but like you, I know that I’m a very lucky woman.

  • Katie L.

    September 15, 2010 at 11:39 am Reply

    This is cute! I ask myself some of these same questions. I can relate to the diaper situation, it takes everything in me to get him to change one diaper a day! What is wrong with boys?!

    To be fair though, I’m sure my husband asks some of these questions about me. For example, I leave my shoes around the house… you know, because I want to wear them again. He is always gathering them up and putting them back in the closet. So while I’m asking myself, “Where did my shoes go? Did he put them away AGAIN?”, he is asking himself, “Why does my wife leave her shoes all over the house??!!” 🙂

    But, yes, I consider myself very, very lucky to have such a wonderful husband!

  • Renee

    September 15, 2010 at 7:03 pm Reply

    Ha ha ha…I love this! So true. I ask myself everyday if my 29 year old husband will ever mature past the age of four. But I still feel lucky to have him. I just remind him that I have taught preschoolers that listen, clean-up, and show more patience than he does. Toddler.

  • Kat

    September 15, 2010 at 10:11 pm Reply

    Ha ha ha! I love the air vent one. I’m not big on a/c and my hubby always turns it way up. 🙂

    We just got married in July. I asked a bunch of these questions before, but didn’t let them bother me. They scare me a little bit now. 🙂 But it helps me to know other people ask them, too. 🙂

  • Lisa

    September 16, 2010 at 7:03 am Reply

    I think everyone ends up with questions but at the end of the day, there is no one else in the world that I’d rather be with or come home to at night!

  • Carrie T

    September 16, 2010 at 3:58 pm Reply

    I loved this post. But you forgot a few questions? Why can’t he put his plate in the dishwasher? Does he really think he needs a Gold Star when he starts the washing machine? (He’d get more than a gold star if he actually folded and put away the clean clothes!) 🙂

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