Potty Camp, 2011

I blogged a couple months ago about how we were starting to introduce potty training to Bean. Step One for us began right when Bean first started telling us that he needed a diaper change (around 18 months) and consisted of us putting him on the potty every time we changed his diaper or whenever he’d show some kind of interest in the potty. We figured if he knew enough to recognize that he was going to the bathroom, then maybe it was time to show him what the real bathroom was for. The point of that step for us wasn’t to get Bean to use the potty, necessarily, but was more to acclimate him to the idea of what a potty was and what we were supposed to do when we sat down. Occasionally, we’d time it right and he would actually use the potty. That was almost always on accident and surprised Bean as much as it surprised us, but we’d make a really big deal about it, give him an M&M (more on those later), and throw a big potty (har, har, har…). When those accidental potty successes happened, they were a great time to help Bean connect what it was that he was supposed to do in the bathroom.

This went on for almost two months. We probably could have done it sooner than we did, but I didn’t see any point in hurrying. Bean’s attention span was still really short and getting him to sit still on the potty for any length of time would have been really hard and would have ended up making the process miserable for both of us. So, we waited and waited until we thought Bean was mentally ready to try to use the potty. We knew he was physically ready, but he needed to be able to comprehend and focus on what he was doing and so we waited until we thought he was to that point. I had been tossing around the idea of starting for the past few weeks when I spoke with a friend last week who said she had just finished potty training her 18-month-old son. She said they focused on it for one solid week and by the end of it, he was doing really good. That was all the motivation I needed. I came home and told Chris I was going to start potty training Bean the next day.

And we did.

I followed my friend’s lead and took Bean to the potty every 15 minutes. I’d set my kitchen timer and when the buzzer went off, he soon learned that it was time to go potty and so he’d run into the bathroom, ready to give it a try. For the record, every 15 minutes is as annoying as it sounds. We’d be in the bathroom for 15 or 20 minutes, then I’d get a 15 minute break to get stuff done before the timer went off again. But that was such an important part of the process for Bean and I’m so glad we were regimented and scheduled. Going every 15 minutes meant that I was catching him just about every time he had to go to the bathroom. If he hadn’t actually gone potty in 30 minutes (two sets of 15), I knew that he was getting close and so I’d back the timer up by 3 minutes and set it next time for 12 minutes. If he didn’t go that time, I’d back it up to 9 minutes, and so on until he actually went potty. Then I’d start the timer over at 15 minutes. I know it sounds complicated, but the whole point was to catch him so that he was using the bathroom in the actual bathroom. After three days of the 15 minute routine, Bean started to actually be able to hold it until it was time to go potty and so I moved the timer out to every 20 minutes instead of every 15. After a day of that, we bumped it out to every 30 minutes.

I had read about a bajillion different ways to potty train and there were mixed ideas on how, when, and if to use Pull-Ups or real underwear. I decided to quit the diaper cold turkey. Except at night, during nap time, or when we’re out, Bean is wearing big boy underwear now at our house. He gets up in the mornings, we use the potty, and we put on his big boy underwear to start our day. I chose to use this method because I thought it would help him understand that wearing big boy underwear was different than a diaper. When he has an accident in his underwear, he tells me right away, usually by yelling, “Makin’ messes! Makin’ messes!” Whereas, when he was in a diaper, he could be smelling up to high heaven and he’d still insist “it’s not Bean…”

Another thing I did was have Bean help me clean up when he’d had an accident. I NEVER reprimanded him or punished him for having an accident, but asking him to help me clean up gave us a chance to talk about how important it was that we go potty in the big boy potty and it showed him that when we go potty in our underwear, it makes a mess, but when we go potty in the big boy potty, there is no mess. I talk really dramatically as I’m cleaning and say things like, “Oh, no! We need to clean up this mess, don’t we? Next time, let’s use the big boy potty when we have to pee pee, okay?” Usually, he just sits there next to me, holding the paper towels, asking if there are any more Lightning McQueen underwear that he can wear today. And that’s okay. I want him to understand the whole process and I think helping me clean up is part of that, but I want us to focus on the successes more than the accidents. Truthfully though, there haven’t been more than 5 or 6 accidents in the whole week we’ve been doing this. I think going so consistently and so often has really helped that.

There are a ton of different ways and methods of potty training, and I certainly don’t think my way is the only way or the right way for all children. But here are a few tips I’ve picked up in the past week:

1. I let Bean bring any toys he wants into the bathroom with him. Since we’re going potty so often, he doesn’t like to be interrupted during his play, so he gets to bring his toys with him. Then, we sit in the bathroom and play until he goes to the bathroom. (FYI: Keep a set of kitchen tongs in your bathroom if you do this, in case you need to pull Buzz or Woody out of the toilet…)

2. Bean gets to call people on the phone after he goes potty to tell them. He loves talking on the phone and so we call Chris or Aunt Ginny or grandparents and Bean gets to tell them all about using the potty. It gives him other people to encourage him.

3. Bean is too young for a sticker chart, but he loves stickers. So, I put a piece of butcher paper up on the wall in the bathroom instead of an actual chart and Bean gets to put his stickers on that. He shows his stickers to everyone who comes in our house!

4. Getting him to stay on the toilet for any length of time can be tricky, so I keep a variety of things to do in the bathroom with us. We sing songs, work puzzles, read books, color, play with his toys – anything to keep him sitting on the potty until he actually goes.

5. Bean gets one M&M when he uses the potty – not when he’s just sitting there, but when he actually goes. If you use this kind of edible reward system, make sure your kids wash their hands BEFORE putting them into the candy jar. I learned that one the hard way and had to throw out a whole bag of M&M’s. Oops.

6. We talk about going potty all the time. Even though I have a timer set, I ask him a lot throughout the day if he has to go potty. The idea is that he is soon able to tell me when he has to go, so I try not to lose sight of that. Verbalizing the potty routine is just as important as going to the potty.

7. I have tried to stay close to home this past week while we stuck to our strict potty schedule. In the last day or so, we’ve run some errands and I’ve put Bean in a diaper, but most of the time when we got home, his diaper was dry and he went potty right away. Being close to home and able to commit to the process really intensely for a week has really helped him catch on a lot quicker than I imagine he would have if he’d been switching back and forth between a diaper and underwear.

8.  I didn’t bother with pants.  Bean wears a t-shirt and underwear around our house right now.  For one thing, he doesn’t have much time between when he thinks he has to go and when he actually goes, so the less we have to mess with between him and the potty, the better.  But mostly, it’s to save laundry!  If Bean has an accident, that’s underwear AND pants that now have to be washed.  Instead, I just rinse out the dirty underwear, throw it into a laundry basket in my laundry room, and do a load when it fills.

9.  I have a “big boy towel” that Bean sits on when he’s on the couch right now.  I don’t want to make him feel bad, but I also don’t want him having an accident on the furniture.  So, he gets the “very special big boy towel” when he’s on the couch.  He loves it.  He asked if he could take his big boy towel to church with him.  That made me giggle.

10. Here’s a video tour of our bathroom set up:

We are on our 5th day of hardcore potty training and Bean is just now starting to tell me that he has to go potty. I kept telling him to tell me when he needed to go, but he never would. He’d either go when I took him or he’d have an accident. Finally, just today, I started getting more specific with my instructions. In my most energetic voice, I said to him in a staged whisper, “Bean, next time you have to go potty, you ruuuuuuunnn over to Mommy and say, “Let’s go potty, Mom!” and then we’ll ruuuuuunnn into the bathroom together, okay?” Once I made it sound like a secret game, he started telling me all the time. He’d come running over to me, yelling, “Potty, Mom!” and we’d take off to the bathroom together. I have noticed that he is doing that a lot even when he doesn’t have to go to the bathroom, just because he likes the game. But that’s okay to me because he’s also telling me the times when he really DOES have to go potty, too, and that’s the whole point. The novelty of the game part will wear off eventually (especially because he’s figuring out he doesn’t get an M&M just because he tells me…). Today, he told me every time he had to go potty and tomorrow, I might forgo the kitchen timer all day and see how we do.

Potty training so far has been a lot of work, but, like most parts of parenting, it is really rewarding. Bean’s building confidence in himself every time he uses the potty and sharing that with him is a lot of fun. Plus, seeing those beanpole legs disappear up into big boy underpants makes me giggle!