If you ask anyone who knows me, they’ll tell you that I’m a pretty modest person. I always have been. When I was in middle school, we had to change in the girl’s locker room in the gym. Everyone just stripped down into their gym clothes. I hid in the bathroom. Every single day.
What can I say? I’m a modest mouse.
So far, I’ve been able to stay pretty modest while being a mom. I don’t take Beanie into the bathroom with me. I don’t change in front of him. I don’t leave the door open while I shower. Of course, I make sure he is in a safe place while I take care of my personal bizzzness. Usually, he chills in his crib while I take a shower in the mornings and get dressed. He plays in there and doesn’t mind at all.
But the other morning, Beanie was in no mood to be left alone. He was fussy and crying and did not want to be in his crib. So, I put his bouncer seat on the floor in my bathroom and got him all set up with some toys. Then, I got into my shower with all my clothes on, got undressed behind the shower curtain and then started the shower while standing in there. Sure, it was a little extra effort, but it wasn’t that bad.
So, I shower there in peace while Bean played in his bouncer. When my shower was over, I turned the water off and stuck my head to grab my towel that hangs on a hook within arms reach of the shower.
But my towel wasn’t there.
It was all the way across the bathroom.
And what happened to be sitting between me and my towel?
So, I stand there, freezing and dripping wet for a couple minutes, trying to decide how to get my towel without having to step out of the shower. Finally, I get a plan. I take the corner of the shower curtain and wrap it around myself and I slowly step from out of the shower, shielded by the curtain. But the curtain is fairly small and I am not. And I had to lean across the entire bathroom. As I reached, the shower curtain tugged on the shower rod, causing one side of the rod to come crashing down. Which sent the little brass hooks holding my shower curtain/make-shift towel sliding down the rod and shooting off the end. This, in turn, tore my shower curtain/make-shift towel from my dripping wet body. Leaving me standing completely naked and freezing in the middle of my bathroom, with my shower curtain half hanging off the wall, and my five month old son staring at me like I was some circus freak.
I wanted to yell out, “Quit judging! You gave me those stretch marks, Punk!”
Once I was securely in a robe and had distracted Beanie with some blinky toy, I had time to ponder what had just happened.
Perhaps I had overreacted.
Perhaps I had been a bit dramatic.
Perhaps I had not scarred my son for his entire life.
But at the moment, I had to get ready for work and I couldn’t ponder the situation any longer. So I threw some clothes on and called it a day.
A couple days later, I was shopping with Beanie in Macys. I had an arm full of things that I needed to try on, so I wheeled Beanie’s stroller back into the dressing rooms. The only room that was available was this tiny little room that would barely have held me if I was alone. And the idea that it would now hold me, my diaper bag, my arm full of purchases, and Beanie’s stroller was highly unlikely. But I had to at least try. So, I rolled the stroller into the changing room and squeezed myself and my findings into a small corner.
But then I realized that I was standing directly in front of Bean’s stroller. And he was staring right at me. Oh, man. This was not good. And then I had an idea. I would turn Bean’s stroller until he was facing the wall and then I could try on the clothes in somewhat privacy. Only problem was the stroller pretty much took up the entire room. Turning it around to face the wall was going to be no small feat.
You know how sometimes you see someone trying to get a car into or out of a really small parking spot and they are doing itty bitty 150,000 point turns? Forward a little, cut the wheel, backwards a little. Forwards a little, cut the wheel, backwards a little. Well, picture that in a tiny dressing room. It must have taken me about 20 minutes and about 75 points to make the stroller turn to the wall.
By the time everything was set up for me to try clothes on in peace, I had been in the dressing room for about half an hour and I was exhausted. I sat down on the tiny little built-in stool, put my head on the stroller handle, and sighed.
Something was going to have to change.
Its been about a week since those two incidents rocked my modest little world. I’m really trying to get better at this. I mean, I’m not exactly walking around my house naked or anything. But I haven’t ripped down any shower curtains lately or tried to parallel park a stroller into a wall, so I think I’m making progress.