Santy Claus is Coming!
Christmas in my family is legendary. My mom famously starts shopping in, like, February and finishes by Memorial Day. We don’t do a whole lot of random presents throughout the year (well, we didn’t before there were grandkids in the picture…), so Christmas is the big blow out.
It’s really not that we are into the material side of Christmas. If you took all our presents away, we’d be just as happy to go to church together, eat a big dinner, and sit around watching old movies.
The amount of presents my family exchanges isn’t about value. It’s about thoughtfulness. When I open presents from my mom that she found in some tiny little shop somewhere, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside because in that instance, my mom was thinking about me. I was on her mind. And that’s worth more than the actual present to me.
This year, my sister has crossed over to my mother’s side on the Christmas front. I had an inkling this might happen. She’s been a pretty thoughtful gift giver for the past few years, just like my mom. She gives monogrammed gifts, which is a sure sign of pre-planning at the holidays. And then, last year she gave Bean a few gifts she “picked up for him” while she was on vacation in Hilton Head. I knew then that she was turning into my mother. Thinking of other people while you’re on vacation was a tell-tale sign.
Sure enough, this year Ginny started Christmas shopping incredibly early and when I called her last week, she had Christmas music playing in the background while she wrapped her presents.
It’s a sickness, ya’ll. Christmatitis. My family can’t help themselves.
(My mom’s going to kill me for posting that last picture…)
The thing is, though, I don’t give gifts like the rest of my family. For one thing, our money is really tight. Both my mom and my sister buy little gifts over the course of several months and I know that makes more sense, but, quite honestly, our budget has been so tight for the past couple years that even spending an extra $20 or $30 a paycheck on something that’s wasn’t for the kids or for daily needs made me cringe a bit. We had our budgeting and saving down to the penny and even spreading Christmas buying out over several months would have been a stretch.
This year, though, as our money seems to be settling down and we’re getting into a nice routine of saving/spending/planning, I’ve tried to buy little presents along the way. Every paycheck, I buy two or three presents (usually online because it’s cheaper and a lot easier than taking the kids shopping with me) and, you know, it’s actually been going pretty good. I’ve put a nice dent in my Christmas shopping already and we haven’t broken the bank.
Another thing I did this year was that in the summer, I started this note on my iPhone notepad for Christmas ideas. I made a note for each family member and then any time I happened to think of a particularly great gift for someone (those thoughts always come to me in the most random places and times!), I’d make the note on my phone. By the time I was ready to Christmas shop, I just had to weed through my random lists and decide what I was going to get everyone and what gifts I’d save for birthdays or other occasions.
Even with these little changes in my gift giving this year, though, I can tell that I’m still not on the same level as my mom and sister. I’m just not going to be able to give people 7 or 8 gifts apiece at Christmas (except the kids – they get 90% of mine and Chris’s Christmas presents). Money is certainly a factor, but so is the fact that we have small kids and so our giving ratio is distorted a bit by Santa Claus. Mostly though, my gift giving style is different because it’s just the way I am. I may not give many gifts to each person, but the ones I do give are intentional and unique to that person.
(That’s mine and Chris’s first Christmas tree, by the way. Isn’t he cute?)
The great thing about family is that I could wrap up paper clips and they’d think it was the greatest, most special gift in the whole world, simply because I gave it to them. But the fact is that I have my own little family now and just because OUR Christmas doesn’t look exactly like the Christmases I had growing up doesn’t mean it’s any less special or any less memorable. For a long time, I felt like if I couldn’t replicate Christmas at my parent’s house, then I wasn’t doing Christmas right. But, as I raise my own family I’m learning that you can’t really do Christmas wrong. We’ll celebrate some traditions from my childhood and some traditions from Chris’s childhood. But along the way, some things might change. Christmas might look a little different at my house than at my parent’s or sister’s. And that’s okay because one day, my kids will sit with their own little families and, if I’m really, really, lucky, they’ll look back and remember how special their mom made Christmas for them.
20 Comments
Amy L Butler
I know what you’re talking about here. Times are changing for our family as well. I want traditions and memories my girls can look back on and remember, without the what I didn’t get or give. I totally feel like the thoughtful, caring, unique to each person gifts are the best, even if they are just paperclips 🙂 I believe our traditions and celebrations will change over time. Sometimes I have to let go and allow for the change just because I’m so used to how it’s always been. What’s ahead might just be better. Just as long as I have my family then we can celebrate however seems fit. Thanks for sharing!
Joy G
What a beautiful post, Katie. And what perfect timing…it just started snowing up here in Canada! To me, Christmas is all about making memories with my family and yes, showing them I love them with small, thoughtful gifts. My 2 daughters will be flying home in December (one from the U.S. and one from Nova Scotia) so that alone will make this Christmas incredibly sweet! (and we all read and love your blog!)
Christy
I almost didn’t say anything because I don’t want to sound like scrooge but I’m similar to you in that I love hearing about mundane details. I enjoyed your post but I would love to hear about whether you open presents on Christmas Eve or on Christmas Day? Also, do you drive around and look at Christmas lights (we do every Christmas Eve) or go to church and watch the Christmas Pageant before opening presents every year? Where do you usually celebrate Christmas or is it different every year? Do you just put presents out randomly as they are wrapped or do hide them somewhere and not put them out until the kids are out-of-range? Do you plan on playing Santa until the kids are a certain age? Do you allow all the family to just rip into the presents (like my parents did) or do you have them open one present at a time and take a picture/thank the giver for the gift? Do you have something special that you eat every year (every Christmas my mom fries canned ham and we eat it on Sister Shubert Rolls and my dad makes his special sangria)? Is there a Christmas movie that you watch every year or do you do advent calendars? When do you put the tree up? What kind of tree do you get (we always get frasier furs)? I love family traditions!
Jen @ Caved In
I’ve been trying to tell my husband that it’s not the price that matters, it’s the thought. He keeps saying every year that we don’t have money for gifts for each other but his budget is huge. It’s so great to see someone else who feels the same way as I do. Again, you’ve shown me I’m not crazy. Or if I’m crazy, at least I’m not alone.
jenny-bird
This is a well-timed post indeed. With our cross-country move and entrance into law school this past year, I wasn’t able to save like I usually do for Christmas gifts. My husband thinks that our presence (worth $850 in airfare) is enough; however, I disagree. I want to give a little something to let everyone know that we’ve been thinking of them. I can’t stand the thought of receiving without giving. At this very moment, I’m mulling over ideas for small, personal gifts. All I’ve come up with so far is handwritten recipe cards for my sister. One down, six more to go! (Nuclear family only this go around…)
Laura @ Casa del Hansen
THANK YOU! I am so glad to hear that I’m not the only one who thinks thoughtful gifts are the most important ones. That’s the hardest adjustment I’ve had to make while getting to know my in-laws. They want and need extremely specific lists while shopping, and they never ever get anything that isn’t on a list I create. It made it very hard for me to open presents the first few years with them, because the gift-giving lacked that element of surprising thoughtfulness. But I soon realized something: it isn’t necessary, not when you’re surrounded by loved ones and enjoying yourselves. The spirit of Christmas, and that’s what matters. Not everyone can and will be like your mom and Ginny, and guess what? That’s okay!! Thanks again for sharing!
Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity
I get what you’re saying. I’m sure you know this anyway, but Bean and Gracie will never know the difference! Christmas is magical all on its own, and you will always have the wonderful time with your family to enjoy. I’m glad that you appreciate the thoughtful gifts and that your family is one that has the true meaning of this season at heart.
Kate @ Love and Kate
I love Christmas, and I totally agree with you that your Christmas will be special because you’re making it that way! Also, I’m super impressed that Ginny is also WRAPPING her gifts already! I thought I was ahead of the game…Ha! LOVE this post.
Dessi
I love this post and I love Christmas!! My family sounds very similar to yours…some start shopping like the day after Christmas for the next go around! And, although we tend to flood the living room with presents, it is 100% the thought behind what we are opening. I’m totally a personalization lover myself (this year, I got all the grandparents to be frames with their grama and grandpa names and our baby boy’s name!!). I get so excited watching faces light up over a gift I picked out! I can’t wait to get my tree up!!
Shannon
My stepmom is just like your mom – and I love it! I want to be that lady one day, but I’m not quite there yet.
The Life and Times of Me
I love Christmas, and I have to say that sometimes I tend to go overboard, but this year I’m trying to cut back. We’re still giving plenty of gifts, and Santa is still comin’ to town, but I’m just trying not to go overboard. The great thing about (young) kids is that they are happy with just about anything.
Heather @ Mrs. Southern Bride
Christmas has always been a big deal with my family. Josh had a very large extended family, so buying presents for everyone has been tricky! Finally, this year we decided on small gifts for kiddos and the adults will be exchanging ornaments! I’m pretty excited. All my Christmas decor is in our guest room, waiting to be put up in the next couple of weeks…
Lydia
I loved this post so much. You are in my brain, I swear! We are on a tight budget as well and our Christmas gifts are very very limited when we shop for family outside of our children. I know that you are and will do such a great job in making Christmas special for your family! 🙂 You already are. It’s crazy how Christmas changes after you become a mom! It’s all about how we can make great memories for the family. I love it. I started a family advent calendar with a list of activities/ traditions that we could do during the season so that we can really make Christmas last. I also wanted to create new traditions for our family that were uniquely ours…Some we can plan for and others will happen spontaneously. I got the idea from 100daystoChristmas.com. 🙂 Its good to change it up a bit, it gives the family identity :)Thank you so much for this post.
Sharlee@believinginsomething
I love this post!!!! I really am already dreading the Christmas season because I haven’t purchased one single thing. I know of two things I’m absolutely getting my husband and that is it. I’m behind and I’m dreading it. I always spend more money making up for the lack of time…if that makes any sense. I’m going to take this advice and purchase a little here and there throughout the year next year. In fact, it will be a New Year’s resolution. Thanks, Katie!!
Amy VH
As I read this I thought about a post on We Are That Family that might be right up your ally. Just a thought… http://wearethatfamily.com/2011/11/ten-things-i-love-about-you-freebie
Grandma
Katie, sweetie, you have captured the whole spirit of Christmas in this blog. We’ve all had to make the transition from our growing up family to our own little personal family. You are doing it just right. Love, Grandma
Jenna@CallHerHappy
I know your kids are going to grow up with fond Christmas memories. You’re just that kind of mom! On a related note to this post: my parents used to be so poor that they would save toys from our happy meals and give them to us at Christmas. We didn’t know or care and I still have loving memories of the holidays!
halcuri
I don’t think I’ll be buying our kids any gifts this year. Not because we can’t afford any presents or because I’m a nasty Scrooge. It’s just that last year, I went onto Amazon and bought my son and daughter about $200 worth of Christmas gifts but by the time we came back from my parents’ and my mother-in-law’s, we had no room to put all the loot the kids got from their grandparents. Then there were the gifts from the aunts and uncles, our daycare provider and other friends who don’t have kids so they spoil ours. Those Amazon gifts sat wrapped in the closet until this summer when we moved and I decided to just donate them rather than pack them and take them to our new house. Therefore, my only concern is what to get for my husband. He always tells me ahead of time what he’s buying me and it’s always awesome and super thoughtful. I need something good this year!
Kendall
I have started using Pinterest for organizing Xmas gifts and it is SO MUCH FUN. Way more fun then spending the money on the actual gifts haha. I love Christmas too but I make a rule in our house to wait to go crazy about it until the day after Thanksgiving (or maybe at 8pm on turkey day HA)
Kat @ Living Like the Kings
How super smart………me…I buy everything the week before and then cry about the insane amounts of $$ we spend