Changes,  Health,  Marriage Confessions,  Operation BWYP,  Understanding Katie

Yes or No

April 15, 2012 /

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I’m reading this book called “Mile Markers,” by Lance Armstrong’s ex-wife, Kristin Armstrong. She is a runner who has a blog on the Runner’s World website and who has written several books about life through the eyes of a runner. This particular book is about the “26.2 reasons that women run.” Sarah gave it to me to read. I was a little skeptical at first because while I am continuing to run five to six days out of the week, I still wouldn’t call myself a runner and so I felt a little bit like an outsider reading a “runner’s” book. But, as Sarah promised, it isn’t a runner’s book at all. It is more about women and friendship and life, and, I have to say, it is so uplifting to read. Not only does it make me proud of all the running I’ve been doing, but, more importantly, it makes me more aware of the kind of person I want to be.

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Actually, running in general has done this for me. In the past few months that I have been getting up early and running, I’ve seen real differences in my life in areas other than my health and waistline. The biggest change I have seen in myself is that I am simplifying my choices. It started as a simple question I’d ask myself at 5:00am when I found myself wide awake in my bed, trying to decide if I was going to get up and go run. I am the Queen of Excuses. I’m pretty sure I’ve held that title since I was little. I can come up with an excuse for anything. But at 5:00am, it’s hard to come up with creative excuses. It really just boiled down to one statement: I could go running, or not. It was as simple as that. I could choose to get up or not. There was no excuse, no reason, no explanation that mattered. I could do it or not.

And so, I’d sigh and grumbled, “Fine!” to myself and I’d get up out of bed and go for a run. Which I never regretted.

Gradually, I stared applying that simple choice to all kinds of things. When presented with cupcakes in the teachers lounge, it became, “I can eat that cupcake or not.” And I walked away without those empty calories.

After flopping into bed one night without taking off my make up and washing my face, it became, “I can wash my face or not.” And I’d get up, wash my face, and sleep better.

When faced with sending a scary email that I had been avoiding for a couple days, it became, “I can send that email or not.” And I cranked out that email in three minutes and it was over.

When I got home from work and school and the kids were crying and I could either put on a movie to entertain them or I could get us all up and moving, it became, “I can either go for a walk or not.” And I loaded the kids up in the wagon and we got out for a while, all feeling better for doing something active rather than sitting on the couch.

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When deciding if I was going to go to a meeting after work one day on the other side of town even though I didn’t feel too good, it became, “I can either go or not.” And I went and felt really great for being involved.

When extended an invitation to something that I might normally have not attended, it became, “I can either go or not.” And I ended up going and having a really great time.

When thinking about my Grandma one night this week in the middle of the mad dinner dash at my house, it became, “I can either call her or not.” And I called her, had a sweet conversation, and realized no one was going to die if dinner was a few minutes late.

When standing on one side of a hanging bridge or next to a tiny airplane in Costa Rica, it became, “I can either do this or not.” And I walked across that bridge or up into that airplane and (though I thought I was going to die both times…) I never looked back.

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When I felt myself getting really mad at Chris over something this week, it became, “I can pick a fight about that or not.” And I decided to call my sister instead, blow off some steam, and Chris and I ended up having a civil conversation about it later instead of a fight right then.

I know that not all things in life are black and white, yes or no. But after a month or so of boiling things down to a yes or no decision, I haven’t found too many things that can’t be applied to my decision-making statement. I use it to make 95% of the decisions I make these days, and I find that not only am I making better choices, but I am doing a lot more things than I normally would do. I’m more active and more proactive. I complain less and feel guilty less because I know that I’ve made every decision deliberately and intentionally. I am more content and satisfied, even on days when things are crazy busy and hectic. It certainly doesn’t eliminate all my problems or stresses, but it does make me feel more in control of the things I do have a choice in.

I’m finding that life without excuses feels a lot better than a life built on excuses.

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