I Hate Goodbyes

The time has come for me to say goodbye to my dearest, oldest friend.  Sarah and her sweet little family have decided to move back to our hometown in order to raise their daughter closer to family.  It is hard to blame her, considering I am living where we are because of the same idea.  Nevertheless, it is such a hard thing to say goodbye to her.

I don’t handle goodbyes well at all.  I just avoid them.  And I’ve been doing that to Sarah.  She has spent the past few months back and forth between her house here in Orlando and our hometown as they planned and prepared to move.  But the time that she has been in Orlando, I’ve just sort of… hidden.  I haven’t seen her much in the past month, and while that hasn’t been a conscious decision, I am very aware that it is a subconscious defense mechanism.  Like, maybe if I pretend she has already gone it will make the actual goodbye a little easier.  The funny thing is that Sarah is just as terrible as goodbyes as I am, and so I think she might have been pulling away a little bit, too.  When you’re as old of friends as Sarah and I are, you just kind of know these things about each other.  Sometimes even before the other person realizes it.

Sarah and I spent most of high school together, we went away to college together, and then I moved to Connecticut.  We went for almost seven years without living close to each other, and while it is never fun to be far away from your friends, I am trying to remember that we somehow managed to keep our friendship alive and kicking through that absence.  But living so close together for the past three years has spoiled me.  I’ve grown used to her just being around.  We worked at the same school together, we lived in neighborhoods that were across the street from each other, we met for 5:00am runs and for 9:00pm trips to Target.  She stood by my side when my dad passed away, and she hasn’t missed one birthday of either of my kids.  When invitations for family functions go out, Sarah is on the list right there beside my very own sister.

Friendship knows no distance, and I know that.  But, Lord, how I’m going to miss seeing her face every day.  I’ll miss her sweet husband, Scott, and his even sweeter heart.  And I’ll miss beautiful Sadie Bug and her big blue eyes.  I’ll miss her entire family and the special place they have created right here in our lives.

My friendship with Sarah will always be one of the most important relationships in my life.  It has to be.  She knows more secrets about me than anyone else – if I piss her off, I’m in real trouble!  And though the simplicity of our friendship – the cookies dropped off for no particular reason, the knocks on my front door, the spontaneous trips to Barnes and Noble – might fade as she leaves, the rich fullness her friendship brings to me will not fade a bit.

Sarah, I wish you, Scott and Sadie all the best in your new home.  I will miss you more than I can even put into words, my friend.  Now, let’s pretend you never read this and I never wrote this and you can just leave tomorrow and I’ll call you this weekend like normal.  Okay, good.  xoxo