Talking to Middle Schoolers

Here’s what I love about middle schoolers.  They, like me, don’t like small talk.  Not at all.  So sometimes, when adults try to talk to them about school or sports or something generic, middle school students just won’t participate in the conversation.  And, let’s face it.  Most adults would probably prefer not to participate in small talk, either.  It’s just that we are mature enough to know we have to suffer through it sometimes.  But middle school kids are like, “That’s stupid.  I’m not going to talk about that.”  And so they don’t.

(Enjoy these pool pictures from last summer that have absolutely nothing to do with my blog post, but make me happy because summer is almost here!)

I have often heard this aspect of middle schoolers described as being self centered or selfish because they don’t want to talk about anything other than themselves.  But that’s not really true.  Middle schoolers love to hear about other people’s lives.  They LIVE for other people’s lives.  But what they don’t want to talk about is the school work in other people’s lives.  Or jobs in other people’s lives.  Or what music or movies or sports are in other people’s lives.

If you engage a middle schooler in real conversations, though.  They will definitely talk back.  Probably more than you want them, too.  And if YOU open up to THEM?  They love it!

Take today, for example.  Randomly, a student yells out in one of my classes today, “How long have you been married, Mrs. Brown?”

Inappropriate?  Yes.  (No one ever said middle schoolers were appropriate.)  But genuine interest in someone outside of themselves?  Absolutely.

“Well, I’ve been married for almost twelve years.”

“TWELVE YEARS?” another yelled out.  “That’s a long time to be married!”

“Yeah,” I said.  “But I’ve been dating my husband since we were 15 years old!  That’s, like, 18 YEARS TOGETHER!”

The entire class gasps in disbelief and shock (and maybe horror).

“Aren’t you tired of him yet?” someone asked, to a chorus of laughter.

But that’s the other thing about middle school kids.  They laugh at everything.  But they laugh ESPECIALLY at things that they are confused, concerned, or wondering about.  You should never stop answering a middle schooler’s questions, just because they are laughing.  This is how they wonder and figure things out.

“Heck yeah, I’m tired of him!” I laughed.  “But he’s so good looking!”

And they all laughed harder because the girls in my classes all have crushes on my husband.

“Now, are we ready to move on with our research paper, or do we still need to talk about love lives?”

“Well, how come you’re still together if he gets on your nerves?” a brave girl in the back asked.  And the room kind of quieted a little bit.

“Do you ever fight with your best friend, Big Mac?”  (I call this girl Big Mac because I kept messing up her name for the first nine weeks of school, and so we finally agreed on this nickname instead.  And it stuck.)

“All the time!”  she said.  “We’re in a fight right now!”

“Are you going to make up with her?” I asked.

“Probably,” she said.

“How come?”

“I don’t know.  She’s my best friend.”

“I totally get that.  I guess I’ve put up with Chris for so long because he’s my best friend, too.  And even when we get on each other’s nerves, we still make up because… you know… he’s my best friend or whatever,” I say, rolling my eyes.  (Never appear too serious.  Middle schooler tip #3,513.)

“That’s cool,” a guy from the front said.

“Yep,” I said.  “Now.  Can we please stop talking about my incredibly interesting marriage and get back to writing these incredibly awesome research papers?”  (Always end the conversation first.  Middle schooler tip #6,272)  The entire class groaned, but we got back on track and finished out the class period writing MLA in-text citations, which every English major knows is JUST as riveting as a good love story.

I think conversations like these are why I love teaching middle schoolers.  They get right to the point, they have no filter, and they have little to no understanding of social boundaries.  I’m a lot like them, actually – nosy and socially awkward.  And so when I get to spend my days talking to them, laughing with them, teaching them, AND formatting works cited pages?!?!?

I mean, life doesn’t get much better.