This past weekend, we drove home to Pensacola for the funeral of a sweet friend’s mother. Her mom had a fierce and fast reoccurrence of cancer and passed within months of her relapse. It was heartbreaking to see my friend and her family this weekend. It was the first time I have experienced loss since my dad passed away and I was shocked at how deeply I felt my friend’s loss for her, because I knew. But, unlike my friend, I also know that families can grow and love and thrive after the loss of a loved one, and I pray that she experiences that side of loss, too.
And then I turned on the news this morning and learned about the Las Vegas shootings and the wave of grief I had been riding all weekend broke over me once again. Now, loss will be felt not only by me and by my friend, but by the 50 families who have just learned, too, what loss does to your life.
It just seems so senseless. So unnecessary. And I find myself asking God why. Why do these things happen? Why does God allow them to happen? WHERE IS HE? Doesn’t he know? How can he sit by and do nothing about our breaking hearts? Our hurt? Our anger? Our fear?
My God. Doesn’t he know?
And the hardest part of asking that question is knowing the answer. Yes. He does know.
The still small voice of my God whispers into my heart, “I want to know why, too. Why is this allowed to continue happening? Why are we here again? Why haven’t you learned? Why haven’t you listened? Why haven’t you acted? Why?”
So, I pass that question along to you, imaginary friends.