Blogging,  Husbands,  Marriage Confessions

Why My Husband and I Will Probably Serve Time Together

January 20, 2010 /

Remember last month when Chris and I packed up our darling baby boy and headed down to New York in the wee small hours of the morning to meet my blogging superhero, Pioneer Woman?  Yeah.  That was fun, wasn’t it?  You betcha.

Its always fun until someone takes it a little too far.  And that someone is my husband.

Recently in our family budget, I have had to account for bail money because I am 98% positive that Chris may be arrested for stalking this poor, ranching, cooking blogger.  I told you all about how much I admired PW in my blog post a few weeks ago.  About how I looked forward to visiting her site every day.  About how her positive and upbeat attitude were really inspirational to me.

What I did not tell you was that Chris is in way more awe of PW than I am.  He’s like a middle school boy around Miley Cyrus.  I think he likes her red hair.  And her cooking.  And the size of her blogs.

That came out with a different connotation than I intended.

He studies PW like some scholars study the Egyptian pyramids or the constellations.  He is a student of her blog.  And, as creepy as I’m sure this is sounding, its really not all about her (though he has admitted to a pretty hefty crush on her), its mostly about her blogs.

Again, not how I wanted that to sound.

We have followed PW as a way to grow our own site.  We bought the camera she suggested to her readers because she said that really clear pictures are just as powerful as really good pictures.  We’ve learned some great tips from her about growing your site and your business, while still staying true to who you are.  More than anything, she is a business mentor for both Chris and I.

But, then Chris took it too far.

He started talking to her.  On Twitter.  Like the enormous dork that he is.  Every day or so, he sends some kind of lame little message to her.

Like this one…

And this one…

And this one…

To the untrained eye, these appear to be harmless little comments.  Merely some fan being polite.  But I know better.  This is Chris’ attempt at flirting.  Its so subtle, you don’t even realize it until – suddenly – you’re naked.

…Or so I’ve heard.

I used to try to stop him.  Like, when he’d tell me that he sent her another email, I’d give him a lecture about bothering people and leaving her alone.  Or, when he’d send her another Twitter message, I’d counter back with one of my own:

But then, one day, the unthinkable happened.  Pioneer Woman acknowledged Chris’ existence in Cyber Land by Tweeting a reply back to him when he sent her some kind of message about a football game.

Well, that was just the kiss of death for PW.  Now, Chris thinks they are destined to build blog empires together.  Sort of like Star Wars meets blogger conventions.  He ain’t no normal nerd. And as much as I try to tell him that he needs to step away from the blogger lady, Chris can’t be deterred.

He loves her.  And her little blog, too.

So, today, I sent this measly little Tweet to PW about all the adorable jewelry that she has been posting on her blog lately:

And PW actually responded to me.  AND, she called me, Sweetie.  Because, if you’ll remember, we are now officially BFF since we met at the book signing.

So, here’s the part where I join Chris in the jail cell for stalking someone.

Then, I start bragging to my obsessed, stalker husband about PW talking to me.  And (here’s the kicker) I turn it into a competition.

“You totally lose this round,” as in “there will be other rounds in which we compete by how freakish-like we can be by stalking this stranger that we found on the internet.”

So, to summarize the situation thus far:

  1. Chris and I might go to jail for stalking someone online.
  2. Pioneer Woman totally likes me more than Chris.
  3. Stalking is not a competition.
  4. Stalking is, in fact, illegal.
  5. Chris and I are giant dorks.

I think for Chris and I to kick the Pioneer Woman addiction, we need closure.  And I know just how to get it.  I want to go to her ranch and have dinner with her.  Cause that’s not freakishly stalkerish, right? And I think I’m going to try and make that my Valentine’s Day gift to Chris this year.   I’m going to try to talk/stalk my way into an invitation to PW ranch by The Lady Herself.

And how do I plan on doing this?  Its simple, really.

I’M GOING TO TWEET THE CRAP OUT OF HER until she finally gives up and lets me be her friend.  And bring my husband along.

Its good to have goals, people.

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58 Comments

  • Sarah H.

    January 20, 2010 at 9:06 pm Reply

    Love this! Now….does the fact that I follow you, your husband, and PW on twitter..and that I knew all of this all ready…mean I am stalking you? I REALLY hope not! I’m just a sweet harmless fan 🙂

    • Katy

      January 21, 2010 at 8:19 am Reply

      I was totally going to say the same thing. Already saw all of these. That’s it. I’m the first to need bailing out. (and, admittedly, was pleased when you disagreed w/ me about grapes vs. fake grapes on facebook, so see? total stalker)

  • Nate's Mom

    January 20, 2010 at 9:30 pm Reply

    Dood. It totally worked for Ellen DeGeneres last year. She started out 2009 by saying she wanted to be on the cover of “Oprah” and voila! She was on the cover in Dec. 2009. If anyone can get to the ranch for dinner, it’s you! I think the Bean needs to get involved, though. Think of clever photo shoots that will make the PW HAVE to meet Beanie. It will happen – and we can’t wait to read about it! 🙂

  • Dave

    January 20, 2010 at 9:32 pm Reply

    Post pictures of the The Bean in your tweets. She’s a sucker for baby’s! Good Luck…oops, does this make me a MC stalker….???? 🙂

  • Stacey

    January 20, 2010 at 9:35 pm Reply

    I got PW’s cookbook for sister #3 as a christmas gift. I didn’t know a thing about this woman except the book had lots of pretty pictures of cooking WHILE IT HAPPENED. most excellent. Well sister #2 freaks out, begs to switch with sister #3 and tells me about the site & her (Amazingly written and endearing) love story with Marlboro Man…warning me I may stay up 3 hours reading it. I did. and have spawned a legion of MM + PW 4Eva fans and readers.

    She is down to earth, funny, and an excellent writer. Who wouldn’t have a liiiittle tinnny crush?

    Cheers!
    Stacey

    PS: I have really enjoyed reading your blog as well! i find your prose excellently executed and while i do not have many of the same beliefs…or kids…it is a pleasure to read the adventures of someone so warm & caring & funny as you and your husband.

    take care!

  • Becky

    January 20, 2010 at 9:40 pm Reply

    All you have to do is:
    1. Get a basset hound puppy (or two)
    2. Send her pictures of Beanie holding the basset hound puppy (or two) with your ranch dinner proposal

    It’s a sure thing! Can I come, too?

    • Marlene

      January 21, 2010 at 12:58 pm Reply

      Oh, Becky, that is SO not fair! PW can’t resist babies and throwing bassett hound puppies into the mix is just – well – hitting below the belt! LOL – but it just might work! And since there are too many of us to all go – maybe we can live through both blogs!

  • Omaha Kat

    January 20, 2010 at 9:54 pm Reply

    One of your funniest posts yet. If it makes you feel better, PW’s site used to be the first one I checked every day, until I found yours. Thanks for the daily smile…
    (That didn’t sound stalker-y, did it?) 🙂
    PS- If you get sushi at the ranch, you’re totally taking me, too.

  • Jen

    January 20, 2010 at 11:15 pm Reply

    So if I stalk you guys on twitter… can I come to dinner at your house? I KNOW I’ve told you this before… but you are to me what PW is to you. 🙂

    I hope that didn’t come out the wrong way… because I will continue twittering you… and one day you will respond! 🙂 (I’m JenMSW on there by the way!)

  • Kristen

    January 21, 2010 at 12:10 am Reply

    I follow the 3 of you too, so I found this all very entertaining today. Then tonight PW replied to your tweet! Woohooo! I’m excited for you 🙂

    Since you mentioned it… What camera do you and PW recommend?

  • Christina

    January 21, 2010 at 12:57 am Reply

    That’s just not something people used to say…”I’m going to tweet the crap out of her!”
    hahahahahahahaha
    This is making me rethink my (inactive) Twitter account. I did send her a message on Facebook that I really thought she would respond to since it involved someone she really did know. Bummer, I never heard from her. But who has time to read 6,839,534,274 messages every day?

  • Andi

    January 21, 2010 at 6:19 am Reply

    Oh my heavens! This just may be your funniest post yet! PDub loves babies, so you can always use Bean as leverage. And if you do get an invite to dinner, call me…so I can meet you guys AND PDub! 🙂

  • Heather Ben

    January 21, 2010 at 8:05 am Reply

    too funny. if you get in – will you take me with you??? I came to this site from hers.

    You know, she auctions off a benefit dinner every year…I’m willing to contribute to a group bid and we all met at PW ranch?!?

    PS – I saw PW when she came to Houston. She too a picture of my baby (just turned one – too fast!) – she’s the one PW called Shiloh.

      • Heather Ben

        January 21, 2010 at 2:48 pm Reply

        Thanks! We were quite proud of that… 🙂

        Did she tell you guys that she is coming out w/ black heels to tractor wheels as a book w/ a whole second part? and another book tour! about a year or so from now…

  • Amanda

    January 21, 2010 at 8:14 am Reply

    HOW FUNNY!!! You and PW are my two favorite bloggers out there. I would be just as starstruck if I met you as I would be if I met her! I can just imagine your readers giddy with anticipation over getting an invite to the ranch. I, for one, can’t wait to hear more about this. I hope it all works at as planned! Stalker! 🙂

  • Mrs. Jen B

    January 21, 2010 at 8:25 am Reply

    Ha! I noticed in the corner of your blog yesterday that you sent her that jewelry tweet. I was all like “oooooooh, she tweets with PW, how cool!”. Now I know the whole story… Hahaha

    Thanks for introducing me, and my waistline, to her site and recipes. Ok, maybe not so much on the waistline part.

  • Alexandra

    January 21, 2010 at 8:45 am Reply

    Oh gosh. I haven’t been on twitter in ages. Must fix.
    If you go to the ranch I would be so totally jealous! How much fun would that be? It would totally make my year, or probably even my life! lol!!!

  • Rachel P.

    January 21, 2010 at 9:32 am Reply

    Looks like I’m missing out on this whole tweet twittering deal. I think you should invite PW and all your stalkers, I mean friends, to your place. Then, PW will be in love with us all, and she will invite us to the ranch to show us off…to MM, the punks, & the cows.

  • Jean

    January 21, 2010 at 10:48 am Reply

    Haven’t you read this on Ree’s Contact page:

    So if I do not respond to your email, please understand. And please know that the second I read your email, we became full on buds.

    See there you go….laughing..

  • Mrs Jen B

    January 21, 2010 at 12:37 pm Reply

    Clearly you must have entered the weekend contest then! It’s the perfect chance! I think that when I went to leave a comment there were 1650 comments and when I finished my three sentences there were over 2000. So there’s no way on earth I’d know if you did – I don’t even know where my own comment is!

  • Claudia

    January 21, 2010 at 1:22 pm Reply

    I have to agree that like many of the comments above, I stalk you! I read your blog everyday and now I added you on twitter. I also follow her… everyday…Can I get any more stalkerish? Hahahaha

    Am I wrong to assume that you entered PW’s contest to go to the ranch for SUSHI!? SUSHI! You and Chris love sushi!

  • Jodi

    January 21, 2010 at 5:42 pm Reply

    I would be totally creeped out by this post if I didn’t also have a little fantasy about being BFF with PW! Lucky for her I don’t live in the US!

  • Lori Crockett

    January 21, 2010 at 5:57 pm Reply

    This is hilarious, because I’m a bit of a Pioneer Woman stalker myself. My husband makes fun of me- he says blogs make you think you’re friends with someone who has no idea who you are. This is true, but really, I think we’re just destined to be bff.

    Then again, I think that about all my blogging buddies- you included:)

    Now I really sound like a stalker.

  • Rachael J.

    January 22, 2010 at 2:35 am Reply

    I have followed PW since nearly the beginning…It has been so fun to watch her readership explode. She is absolutely incredible. I sincerely think she is the next Oprah…something about how down to earth and wickedly witty she is. I found your site on her site and it has been fun reading your stuff. The Bean is adorable!

    Rachael J
    an expat wife in Luanda, Angola

  • Rebekah

    January 22, 2010 at 7:54 am Reply

    This is too funny. I don’t think it’s terribly bad…yet! I do love reading her blog and cooking(trying to cook) from her cookbook! I didn’t get the chance to meet her, but I would love to! I know her cousins, so maybe that’s possible? But I would totally feel weird asking!

    • Katie

      January 22, 2010 at 9:06 am Reply

      Eh, I told her she could have it. She’s really struggling with publicity now, if you hadn’t noticed. 🙂
      BFF’s come before Bloggies.

  • Molly

    January 22, 2010 at 9:47 am Reply

    This is totally unrelated to your post but for some reason your feed isn’t pulling up in my reader! It still says your last post was “mommy needs some space.” Since you hadn’t written in awhile I came to your site and you’ve been posting the whole time. I wonder what happened?

    • Katie

      January 22, 2010 at 11:14 am Reply

      I don’t know, but there have been lots of problems with that lately. I swear it wasn’t us this time because we haven’t messed with the feeds since the last debacle. Try re-subscribing and seeing if that helps. Sorry for the trouble!

  • Abby

    January 22, 2010 at 2:46 pm Reply

    I just found your blog, and just started reading, but so far it looks great! I will definately keep reading! So funny because my husband keeps calling me a stalker (stalking PW) because I was so excited to get her book for my birthday, I blogged about her, I keep making her food (he’s NOT complaining about that!), talking about her, and I want to go to the lodge too! I’ll have to show him your post so he can rest at ease that there are other ooberfans out there! p.s. woah that was a lot of exclamation marks! :o)

  • Lyndsey

    January 25, 2010 at 6:23 pm Reply

    hahaha that is awesome.. and you totally won!

    Also, I just won PW’s photo contest and I was so excited I called everyone I know, put it on facebook, on weddingbee, on my blog, on gchat… and am officially committing myself into the asylum for going so freakin nuts!

  • Michelle

    January 28, 2010 at 10:23 pm Reply

    I found your blog from web blog awards list and I’m totally loving it. I enjoy your every post and I’m kinda stalking it. I read PW blog as well. I love the way you write your post, it’s filled with send of humor.

    Now, I guess I have to tell my husband to save up for my bail since i’ll be stalking your website from now on hahahaha.

    Take care!

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