Learning Through Listening

Learning Through Listening

One of the areas I have been trying to work on in my marriage has been truly listening to Chris and then reacting to his needs.  You’d think that would come naturally in a marriage, but it has taken surprising focus on my part.  The listening part I have really been working on and that is becoming much more natural to me.  But the second part that I have discovered our marriage needs is for me to react to Chris’s needs when I hear them. I had gotten in this…

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Part 2: Remembering the “We”

Part 2:  Remembering the “We”

Last weekend, we sent the kids to my mom’s for a few days.  I blogged about it last week and said that Chris and I were stressed out from work and it was just the break we needed.  But that was sort of a fib. Sorry, imaginary friends. Yes, work has been stressful and, yes, it was nice to have a little break from responsibility for a few days.  But what we sent them to mom’s for was so that the two of us could have some time together.  We…

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Part One: Remembering the “We”

Part One:  Remembering the “We”

Chris and I are going through a rough patch right now.  I’m breaking this post up into a couple separate posts (maybe more?) because it’s easier for me to explain in small chunks.  Thanks for hanging in there while I tell this story and while WE work hard to get ourselves out of the ditch. Chris and I are just not jiving these days.  Actually, if I’m honest, it’s been for a lot of days.  Like a few months.  We’ve blamed a spattering of things – kids, money, jobs, etc….

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Bringing Your Work Home

Bringing Your Work Home

One of the things that came out of the Big Fight of 2013 is the realization that Chris and I had stopped sharing small things about our days with each other. Either because we were afraid it would lead to some kid of argument over something silly or because we just didn’t feel like talking to the other person, we would ask, “How was your day?” and each of us would respond, “It was fine.” And that was about it. For, like, two months. We’re really trying to make an…

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To Clarify

To Clarify

Wowzers, Imaginary Friends!  Way to get my back when I’m in a fight!  Holy moley!  But I should clarify in an effort to defend my ego-battered husband.  Sometimes I forget that you all aren’t living my life right beside me.  I share so much on the blog that I sometimes forget that I don’t share EVERYTHING, so when I leave out critical information it can really give the wrong impression. When I write something that elicits such passionate feedback, I debate about how to respond. Usually, I decide not to…

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Married to a Workaholic

Married to a Workaholic

One of the things that I love most about Chris is his work ethic.  You won’t find too many people who are as committed and loyal as Chris is.  When he takes on a project, task, or job, he gives it nothing less than 110% for 110% of the time.  He is as dependable of a person as you can find.  All of this is well and good in an employee or team member.  But it can be downright irritating in a spouse.  Because when Chris goes above and beyond…

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Intentional Nothingness

Intentional Nothingness

Last week, Chris and I got into a big fight. We argue from time to time, like most couples, but we don’t really do the knock-down-drag-out fighting very often. And this was one of those times.  It was one of those all-consuming fights that covers a range of things we’d both been mad about for a couple weeks. I call those housekeeping fights. It’s like spring cleaning. Sometimes, you just need to crawl up into those dark, cobwebby corners of your marriage and throw some windows open to air things…

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The Next Time I Speak to My Husband…

The Next Time I Speak to My Husband…

The next time I speak to my husband probably won’t be until tomorrow because we have retreated to neutral corners after a big fight tonight. The next time I speak to my husband it will be a little awkward because we’ll both still be angry, but we have to talk because we have two kids and that requires communication. The next time I speak to my husband I will say that I am sorry – not for everything, because it wasn’t all my fault, but that I’m sorry for what…

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A Complaint.

A Complaint.

Tonight at 8:00, my friend, Sarah, reminded me about a baby shower we are going to tomorrow morning for a co-worker. All week we’ve been meaning to get up to Barnes and Noble to buy a few baby books, but I haven’t been able to get away. Until 8:00pm the night before the shower. Story of my life. My complaint is this: When I told Chris that I had to run up to Barnes and Noble to grab a baby gift, he said (and I quote), “Fine.” No, it was…

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Incommunicado

Incommunicado

I am terrible at communication. (Which is odd. Because I am a blogger.) Specifically any kind of communication which involves technology. (Again, this is odd. Because I am a blogger.) Emails sit in my inbox for weeks (okay, fine…months) without being answered. Voicemails sit on my phone for weeks (okay, fine…months) without being heard. Facebook messages and Tweets go unreturned. It’s not that I’m not reading them. I read them all, usually as soon as I get them. Then I think of my response, think of the person who sent…

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