Big Boy Job, Big Boy Boxers
(Even as I write this, I know the minute I post it I am going to get in trouble with my husband. He is always telling me that some conversations should just stay private between the two of us, and I’m pretty sure that he’ll think this is one of them. But I can’t help it.)
This afternoon on my lunch break I walked up to J Crew to take a look around. As I was standing in line with my shiny new pair of khaki pants and pastel argyle belt to match, I started flipping through a pile of men’s boxer shorts that were in a bin next to the cash register. I found the funniest pair of bright yellow shorts with little, bity dachunds dogs on them, and the dachunds were wearing hot dog buns! They were adorable.
I contemplated getting a pair for Chris but then I realized if I bought him a pair he would know I had been at J Crew and he would roll his eyes and make some comment about my shopping habits (which, for the record, are extreme but are nothing compared to his Apple addiction…). I made a mental note, instead, to just tell him about them when I got home.
So tonight over dinner I describe these incredibly cute boxer shorts to him and wait for him to burst out laughing with me. Every chance I get I buy him funny boxers – its sort of our (weird) thing. He’s got some with hammers and nails, some with ants, some with grills and hamburgers, some with giant pumpkins…and the list goes on. But instead of sharing in my giggling, he just laid down his fork and turned to me all serious-like.
“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about my boxers,” he said.
Boy, that’s a line you don’t hear from your husband very often.
“I’ve been thinking it might be time for me to get some different boxers.”
“Oh,” I say. “I wish I had known you needed new ones because I totally would have gotten these for you!”
“No,” he says, searching for the right words. “I think its time I had more, you know, grown up boxers.”
I freeze. Because I don’t know what to say and because I am quite certain that if I heard him correctly then I might be about to wet my pants with laughter.
“You mean, like, big boy boxers?” I ask, hardly surpressing a giggle.
“Well, you know, sometimes people can see boxers when you bend over or something, and I just don’t think people at my new job need to see dauschunds dressed as hot dogs.”
At this point, I’m laughing so hard that I can’t even sit up in my seat. Is he not just the most adorable thing in the entire world?
So, I kiss him and say, “Okay, sweetie. You’re right. You’ve got a big boy job, so maybe its time you had some big boy boxers.”
12 Comments
awalkabout
I imagine he wasn’t pleased. But…what a hilarious post! Fortunately my Cabana Boy has stuck with his tropical shirts even as he’s moved from student to teacher. Let’s hear it for Peter Pan!
I’ll take a Peter Pan over an Old Fart any day of the week! Thanks for the comment! – Katie
Shirley
Neighbors across the fence from each other were hanging laundry. The first, a young darling, sang as she pinned her husband’s festively decorated boxers on the line: “Loving in the morning, loving in the evening, Loving in the summer time….”
Across the fence, an aging darling sang as she pinned the plain white boxers of her lover of 52 years. “Precious Memories.”
🙂
Quirky Indian
That was pretty funny….and does he have his big-boy boxers now?
Cheers,
Quirky Indian
http://quirkyindian.wordpress.com
We’re working on it! ~ Katie
urbanpixie
Thanks for making me chuckle! It’s kinda nice to know that men think about panty lines, too! 🙂
I hadn’t thought about it as panty lines! Thanks for making ME chuckle! ~ Katie
HeJo
Hi, I like your blog. Now you have 3 fans! My step father sent me the link after seeing the Apple obsessed marriage ruining post. Anywho, thank you, I will have fun reading it today and trying to forget it is 103 degrees outside in New England.
What’s going on with this weather this week, anyway? I’m a Florida girl and I’m dying in this New England heat! ~ Katie
Ginny
Wow – I was always concerned that when you get married you would run out of things to talk about. You’ve given me hope and a good laugh!
Elizabeth
I was just thinking about my husband’s boxers yesterday while I pulled out a pair to wear to bed. We have pigs and cows and robots and bats and tattoo hearts and more. He has never once complained! I hope he doesn’t secretly want to have a “talk” with me about his boxers!
Lina
I love your blog!!
I was folding my boyfriends boxers the other day, and I had to ask him why he didn’t have more entertaining underoos (at least some different colors and styles). He laughed, looked back at me, and said quite seriously “because nobody has ever bought me entertaining underwear.”
I can feel that snesation that comes right before a major shopping expedition!
NYMDRandi
Very Funny Post. I also buy Silly Undergarments for My Fiancƒ © whenever I see them. I like those Hot Dog Ones! Maybe I will pick mine up a pair, too…
xoxo,
TDR
costumesupercenter
I love funny boxers, my gf thinks its cute my boxers have toolboxes and dinosaurs on them 😀
ranmon
haha love your blog!
The Fifi (fiancee) gets me cute boxers all the time: it’s her stamp on me. I say “why not? they’re better quality than the 3-pack crap I get!”
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