Husbands,  Marriage Confessions,  Pregnancy

Money Wars

I announced earlier in the week that on Saturday, I would be going maternity clothes shopping.   We had the money.   I had the time and a growing belly.   Should be a good day.   So, yesterday I head out with Sarah and the Most Adorable Child Ever to Old Navy for some serious maternity clothes shopping.

I went a little overboard, but I got some great necessities – work pants, cardigans, sweaters, long sleeve shirts that could easily cover a watermelon.   And I must say that having a box of maternity clothes show up on your front door step from your mom is a lot more fun than maternity clothes shopping.   Maternity clothes are so scary.   They are cut for you to grow, so if your belly is still relatively small, like mine, you just look like you are wearing your husband’s sweaters.   Not attractive.   But I still managed to spend an ungodly amount of money that may or may not compromise my child’s college education.

And when I come home, I find Chris is still out.   He recently bought a pool table on eBay for $100.   He put it out in the garage and has been busy turning it into a Man Cave, complete with beer light.   Knowing that he has been in a bit of a funk lately, I have let him go to town on the Man Cave.   I didn’t say anything when he bought the pool table.   I didn’t say anything when it took up the only space for our cars to be parked.   I thought this might be just what he needed.   A project all his own, for himself.

But yesterday, he went out and spent $500 on that damn pool table.   Recently, we have set aside some money for Christmas and “home repairs.”   Chris argued that the pool table restoration qualified as “home repairs.”   Still not wanting to ruffle his Man Cave feathers, I smiled and said that it was fine.   But could he kind of curb the spending on the Man Cave until after Christmas?   (…or after our child goes to college.)   He agreed.

The more I think about it though, the bigger the problem seems to me.   $500 on a used, junked up pool table is one thing.   But the bigger issue here is how far I will let things go just so Chris doesn’t feel inconvenienced by the baby.   I don’t want anything to make him feel like things are about to change drastically.   I want it to be a smooth transition.   But on the other hand, things ARE changing.

But when do you start to put your foot down about that stuff?   I think its still too soon.   $500 or not, Chris has been such a trooper these last few weeks, and if he wants a place to retreat to and get some time by himself, then I actually think that that’s $500 well spent.   Poorly timed, but well spent.   But when do we have to come to point where we realize that planning for this baby may mean we have to sacrifice some things?   And when we get to that point, how does that work?   Do I threaten Chris (which, clearly, never works as I have not left him and he still owns his Nintendo 3)?   Do we bargain?   Do we make decisions together?   This could get tricky.

Besides, its hard to cause a scene over $500 when I can’t properly storm off because I’m holding so many shopping bags full of maternity clothes.   Sort of the whole pot/kettle situation…

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