Building My Case

Well, I am slowly approaching week 14 of my pregnancy and I FINALLY think the glowing, happy, energetic, non-crying phase has begun.   Gone are the hysterics, the morning sickness, the 4-hour naps after work.   I’m able to keep food down and I’m wearing stretchy pants.   What more can a girl ask for?

I’m feeling so much better and I can’t remember ever laughing so easily in my life.   I have always loved a good joke, but lately I seem to have a constant case of the giggles.   Twice I have laughed so hard I threw up.   Seriously.   Just threw right up on myself.   AND I KEPT LAUGHING!   I don’t know what this part of the pregnancy is, but its fantastic!

Tomorrow is my CVS procedure.   I’m soooo dreading it.   The genetic counselor told me they would numb me up before they stick that enormous needle into my abdomen, and so now I’m scared of the numbing needle instead.   I don’t have such a friendly history with needles.   I’ve been known to beg, scream, and (only once) kick when a needle gets too close for comfort.   So the idea of one looong needle sticking into my tummy is not so appealing to me.   But I’m going to suck it up because for some reason, I already love this little bean more than my dogs.   And that’s a whole heck of a lot.

I’m also going to suck it up because this gives me more ammunition for when my baby is a teenager and he’s driving me crazy with things like curfews and math grades.   I’ll be able to reach into my past and say to him, “Oh yeah?   Well, I had a four eight inch needle stuck into my abdomen just IN CASE you happened to be sick when I was pregnant with you.   So suck it up and quit skipping 4th period!”   Also on my list of things I plan to hold a grudge about:

1.   I had a needle shoved into abdomen.

2.   At the time when I probably needed it the most, I couldn’t have one drop of alcohol.   No matter how much I cried.

3.   Your father almost left me over a Big Mac.

4.   I may never wear a bikini again.

5.   For nine months I threw up every time I brushed my teeth.

I’m sure the list will continue to grow.   I’m just getting started.   But I’m keeping track.   Oh, yes.   I’m keeping track…