When Baby Makes Three
Last night after a terrible day at work, Chris took me out for a dinner date – Ruby Tuesdays! I know, I know. But we’re crazy like that. Nothing says hot romance like a salad bar.
We had a really good time actually, mostly because it was the first conversation we’ve had in a while that didn’t involve babies. And except for those few times I almost threw up during the meal, it involved very little talk of pregnancy either. It felt like a real date night. We talked about the Heisman presentation today and about our days at work (which had both been eventful). We talked about our Christmas plans and about the economy. All good stuff.
As we were walking to our car, arm in arm, I suddenly got a little teared up and turned to Chris.
“What if we never get to do this kind of thing again?” I said. “What if we have this baby and we never see eachother again?”
Chris kind of laughed. “Where do you think we’re going?” he said.
“I don’t know,” I said, crying openly in the Ruby Tuesdays parking lot like the classy broad that I am. “But I hardly see you at all now between having my head in the toilet and going to bed at 7:30 every night. And its not going to get any better once you throw a baby in there. Then I’ll just have a baby taking up my time.”
“Well, where do you think I’ll be?” he asked.
“I don’t know…your Man Cave?”
“No way, you crazy pregnant lady!” he laughed. “I’ll be right there with you. It’ll be you, me, and the baby. And the dogs.”
“And probably your parents,” he added. Now I laughed.
“Okay,” I said, getting myself together again so that I didn’t look like the trashiest of the Ruby Tuesday diners, which would be hard to do but still possible. “But everyone says that when they have their baby, he becomes the most important part of their life. And you are the most important part of my life. What if that happens to us? I don’t want to put the baby first. Let’s not be one of those couples. Let’s put our baby second.”
“Okay,” he said, hugging me. “But a close second.”
6 Comments
Julie
Katie, you figured it out~well, almost! Let me sum up 6+ years of marriage counseling…it took each of us a bit to get this one down: These should be your priorities #1-God, #2-your spouse, #3-your kids, and #4-extended family including in-laws. Always follow this rule!
And just for the heck of it, I’ll throw in one more good tip from counseling…
lower expectations=more happiness. That one also took me a while, but it’s true.
We go to marriage counseling about once a month just to stay in-check. It’s wonderful! Even after 12 years, our marriage gets better every day.
Camille
I have never thought of it that way, but now that you mention it, I don’t really want to put any kid before my husband, either. Even if it is my own.
Nana To Be
Hey, Hey Hey, Christopher. I resemble that remark!
The Best Mother-in-Law Ever (except for Jackie)
girlslashwoman
Aww you guys are lucky to have each other.
But it is going to be tough, putting the baby second. I can’t even put other people’s babies seconds :s they are just so amazing.
The Founding Father
“Man Cave” was a term invented by the HGTV network. Find out the real deal at http://www.themantuary.com
Be A Man.
– The Founding Father
Taryn M. Peine
I love your blog! We are not having a baby yet, but I like to pre-worry about everything, and we have had this exact conversation many times. (Though we had it in a Chili’s parking lot 🙂 ).