Good Morning, Sunshine
Chris and I have this routine that we’ve settled into on the weekends. We both really wanted just one morning to sleep in. Just one morning where we didn’t have to get up for work or the Bean or anything. So, we take turns on the weekends. Chris gets up with the Bean when he wakes up early on Saturday mornings and I get to sleep in. And then I get up with Beanie early on Sunday mornings while Chris gets to sleep in. Its a wonderful system and Saturday mornings are one of the highlights of my week.
Well, this past Saturday morning Chris messed it all up. Ruined it. Destroyed it. My Saturday morning was shot. And I am still holding a minor (read: major) grudge.
Saturday morning, Beanie woke up at a perky 4:30 AM. Ever since the time change, he has been waking up earlier. Apparently he doesn’t really give a crap about time changes. What we’ve been doing is stuffing the binky back in his mouth a couple times in the morning to buy us an extra hour – sometimes even two! – of sleep. But by 6:00 AM, Beanie wasn’t falling for it anymore and he was ready to get up. So, I shove Chris out of bed and I happily roll back over and burrow into my down comforter for some good sleeping.
About 15 minutes later, I open my eyes to find Bean and Chris sitting in bed, staring at me.
“Good morning, Mom…” Chris giggled. Bean started squealing and pulling my hair. Which woke up the dogs who immediately started to bark to be fed.
What was happening? Wasn’t it Saturday morning? Why were all these people, babies, and hungry beasts in my bedroom? Why wasn’t I sleeping?
But Beanie was in such a good mood and Chris was, too, so I just kind of smiled and kissed them both, waiting to see what the crap was going on. I mean, was Chris trying to wake me up? And, if so, was this going to count as my morning? Was he trying to ruin my morning on purpose? Was he using the baby to sabotage me?
JUST WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON HERE?
After about fifteen minutes – just long enough for me to wake complete up, incidentally – Chris took Bean downstairs for a bottle. As he left the room he smiled sweetly and said, “Get some sleep, Sweetie…”
BASTARD!
I tossed and turned and tossed and turned, but I could not go back to sleep. I was awake. There was no way I could go back to sleep now. When my body wakes up, I’m awake. And now I was awake. At 6:30 AM. On a Saturday. MY Saturday. And Chris knows that about me! How many years have we been together? 10? 11? He knows that once I wake up, I can’t go back to sleep! He KNOWS! HE KNOWS!!
BASTARD!
So, I put on my robe and trudge downstairs where Chris and Bean are curled up on the couch having a breakfast bottle. Both of them look up at me, smiling, laughing, just thrilled to be awake.
“Hi, Sweetie!” Chris chirps. “Up so early?”
I pouted all morning. Really, I pouted all day. And I could never figure out if he had woken me up on purpose or if he had really just wanted Bean to say good morning to me. But I blamed him anyway.
BASTARD!
On Sunday morning, Beanie woke up around 5:00 AM. I heard him in there, doing that panicked shrieking noise he makes when he is tired of laying in his crib by himself. And I waited. And I waited. And I waited. Would Chris go get him? Would I get my morning back?
But Chris just rolled over, kissed my forehead, and whispered sleepily, “Beanie’s awake.”
BASTARD!
So, I got up for the second weekend morning in a row. Oh, I was pissed. Oh, I was livid. But when I got into Beanie’s bedroom and looked down in that crib at his happy morning face, I sort of melted a little bit. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I could have totally turned and kicked Chris’ you-know-what in about two seconds flat. But that little Bean smile does funny things to a person.
I picked up Beanie, changed his diaper, took him downstairs for a bottle, and then cuddled with him on the couch for a while. I mean, if I’m going to HAVE to get up early on the weekends, at least I get to spend it with my happy little Bean.
…while Chris sleeps soundly upstairs.
BASTARD!
12 Comments
Hilary
OMG! My husband does this too! We also take turns on weekends and he loves to get our daughter and bring her into bed with ME when I’m supposed to sleep. So I started to fight fire with fire. She usually calls for her father in the mornings so when I get up with her, I close the door to our bedroom, get her out of bed, go downstairs for breakfast and then go back upstairs and let her pound on our bedroom door shouting, “Dada!” at the top of her lungs. Then I smile sweetly and open the door.
Abigail
At least you get an exchange more often than not I no longer know what weekends are much less sleeping past 6am. . sometimes 5am. . .
Lyndsey
Haha #1– why did you not say “goodmorning bean… chris TAKE HIM DOWNSTAIRS SO I CAN SLEEP NOW”? #2- the fact that you can complain about your husband on the blog he helps you maintain cracks me up and i love love love it 🙂
Joanie
Oh. My. Lord. I would have KILLED him.
Johnny used to do this too until I exploded like an atomic bomb. I like to sleep late. He likes to nap. When he goes into the bedroom for an afternoon nap I leave him alone until the time that he has alotted himself has run out.
When I sleep late, he used to come in the room at least 7 times to “tell me something”. I finally told him if someone wasn’t bleeding, unconscious or had a broken bone that it could wait til I was ready to get up.
Shame on you Chris! Katie, tell Big Molly to go poop in his shoe.
Mandy
This should be settled with a knife fight. Sleep is VERY important.
Camille
Admittedly, the bean is a noble reason for waking up at 6:30 on YOUR saturday. However, being a sleeping FIEND, I must heartily agree that your denunciation of Chris as a BASTARD is 100% accurate, for the situation. The punishment fits the crime.
And that is why I take Yasmin. Faithfully. Every day. Like clockwork. And I will quit taking it the day that I quit loving sleep. So, never.
Kara
When JJ was getting up early, we had that same exact deal. Except we sometime switched who got Sat or Sun. And my husband tried bringing the happy baby in once to say good morning. And he paid! Not in front of the happy baby, of course, but I do believe he got greeted by a happy baby on HIS day!
Jenn
I know I should not compare your baby to my black lab, but Ryan and I have the same issues. Only problem is, it’s me who actually wakes up. He never even hears the dog, which worries me for when we have a kid. He’s pretty good about taking turns and getting up to let her out and feed her when I ask him to. But, like you, I cannot get back to sleep.
Also, wanted to ask, do you guys call him the Bean as well, or is that just for the blog?
Katie
In my limited experience, babies and labs are oddly similar… 🙂
And, yes, we call him Beanie in real life. Its sad. But we can’t help ourselves. Luckily, they call him by his name at daycare, so I’m hoping that saves him a couple thousand dollars in therapy later on.
Maureen
Why do guys do crap like that? I just don’t get it.
Laura
It doesn’t matter if my husband is off or not (he is in sales and usually only has Sundays off), I am usually the one that gets up with the baby. He has surprised me a few times in the past few weeks getting up with him in the morning, but I have a feeling that’ll be a thing of the past again soon.
whitney
I totally relate. Ugh. And D has been on a rotation where he has to get up at 5 every morning and so he’s ready to go to sleep at like 9 and I TOTALLY feel like a single mom and it’s retarded.