Blessed to Be a Blessing
The thing about depression, even seemingly mild bouts of it like I went through, is that the only way to bring yourself out of it is to put yourself first. And that takes a lot of time and energy. When I finally came to terms with the fact that earlier this year wasn’t just tough because of our move, or my unemployment, or our loss of income, or our unexpected pregnancy, but that I was really dealing with far greater emotional issues, the only solution was to simply shut down and take care of myself. I stopped blogging for a while, stopped writing, stopped volunteering, stopped saying yes to everything that was asked of me. I simply took a break from life and focused on myself. How I felt. What I needed. And it was through that time of self-assessment and reflection that I learned how to help myself.
We all need that from time to time. Whether it’s depression or something else we’re dealing with, there are times in all of our lives when we just need to stop and focus on ourselves. It’s the healthy thing to do.
Immediately on the heels of my depression came my unexpected, wonderful, surprise pregnancy. And, once again, I was focused on myself. And for good reason. Growing a human being is a lot of work. It takes time, energy, and all of your attention to keep yourself in the best shape possible so that you create as balanced and healthy of a body for your baby to form within. It’s only natural that you focus on yourself during a pregnancy because when you are healthy, your baby is healthy.
But with my bout of depression finally in my rear view mirror and my pregnancy rapidly coming to a close in the next three weeks, I have become very aware of how self-centered my worldview has become. When you’re big and pregnant, it’s hard to not be the center of attention every where you go. People want to talk to you about it. They want to fawn over you. They want to feed you cookies and tell you how much you are glowing. And, frankly, who am I to stop them? It’s pretty freaking awesome.
And then, one morning, you turn on your television to find images so devastating, so frightening, so real, that you feel like you’ve had cold water thrown in your face. The images I see of the earthquake aftermath in Japan and the Pacific region have shaken me to my core. Hearing stories of mothers looking for their children, of children looking for their aging parents, of husbands looking for their wives, of sisters looking for their sisters, it’s almost more than I can feel in my heart and it reminds me – no, it teaches me as if for the first time – how small I really am.
In church this morning, our minister gave a sermon on the importance of giving. Before the sermon even began though, there was the childrens time when kids come up to the front of the church and listen as one of the congregation tells them a very simplified version of the much bigger lesson the adults will learn later. This morning though, it was that childrens lesson that I was drawn to. The woman speaking told the children gathered around her about what a cold winter it had been across the country and that she was so saddened to hear stories of other children from really cold places in our country who didn’t have enough coats to keep them warm. So, the woman had gone out and bought everything she needed to knit blankets for children in need. She pulled yarn, knitting needles, and a knitting pattern from her bag and sat them on the floor in the center of all the children.
Then she just sat there. And waited.
Finally she said to the kids, “Well, isn’t something supposed to happen?”
And the kids kind of laughed a little and one brave soul spoke up and said, “No, you have to do it.”
“What do you mean?” replied the woman. “I’ve got all my tools and supplies right here.”
“No,” said the little girl. “You have to actually MAKE the blanket.”
“I have to do it?” said the woman in mock confusion. “I have to do it myself? I can’t just carry around all these tools and supplies and expect something to happen? You mean, I have to do MORE?”
The message was loud and clear. And simple. What good are our gifts if we don’t do something with them?
The minister’s sermon echoed the message from the childrens time and he even took it a step further. “We are blessed,” he said, “not so that we can hold on to those blessings. But so we can share them. We are blessed to be a blessing.”
In the past year, my life has been focused on myself and on my family. And it needed to be. We had to get back to a place where we were stable and functioning. But the amount of blessings that were bestowed upon us during that time, the amount of grace that was shown to us during that time, were to numerous to count. Jobs appeared when we needed them most. Food was on the table during weeks when it didn’t seem possible. Family was there when we didn’t even know we needed them. And in the middle of it all, a precious, unexpected little gift of was given to us – a gift we have chosen to call by the name we know it came from, Grace.
But there is a season for everything and the season of myself has ended. It’s time to look beyond myself, beyond even my own family, and to extend the blessings that I have received to others. To people I don’t even know. To people across the world. To people dealing with such tragedy that it makes unemployment and adjusting family budgets seem trivial and insignificant.
I have asked my readers on Marriage Confessions to give before and you all generously rose up and gave to support the oil spill clean up in my hometown and all along the Gulf Coast. And now, I come to you again asking for your generosity. I ask you to think about the many, many ways we are blessed every day. Whether you share my faith or a different kind of faith or no faith at all, there is no doubt that at times we all receive grace from somewhere. An unexpected check when we needed it the most. An encouraging word in the midst of a struggle. Even just a smile from a stranger on a day when we feel so alone. All of these things are grace. All of these things are blessings in our lives. And today I ask you to think about why those happen to you, to me. God doesn’t just open a door so that one person can walk through it. The universe doesn’t align all the stars just for one person to see.
We are blessed to be a blessing.
Today I ask you to be thankful for all that you have, to be in prayer for all those whose lives have been irreversibly changed, and to dig deep in your pockets and give until it hurts just a little bit. If you are looking for a place to donate to the Japanese and Pacific region earthquake relief, I suggest one of the following organizations:
The Red Cross – You can visit their website by clicking here or you can text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10 from your cell phone.
Save the Children – I like this organization because my mom has given to them for years. They are pledging all of their donations to children’s relief efforts in Japan.
International Medical Corps – You can donate through their website by clicking here or you can text MED to 80888 from your cell phone. All proceeds go to medical relief and aid in Japan.
United Methodist Committee On Relief (UMCOR) – UMCOR is already on the ground in Japan and throughout the Pacific region offering food, water, and supplies. They also are providing spiritual counseling and prayers.
Marriage Confessions – If you don’t want to go through the hassle of filling out all your personal information on a relief organization’s website, you can also donate through Marriage Confessions Paypal account by clicking the Donate button below. All proceeds donated here will benefit the Red Cross.
There is a season and a perfect time for everything. Time to focus on ourselves and become the best we can be. Time to focus on our family so that their needs are met and their hearts are full. Even devastating disasters happen in their own perfect time that we can’t possibly understand. But there is also the time to extend a hand and help. A time to be a blessing to others because we have been so blessed.
This is that time.
*****
Today I am grateful to be given the opportunity to be a blessing to others, as so many others have been a blessing to me.
24 Comments
Alyssa
That is a beautiful post, what a great sermon at your church today and the children’s message is loud and clear. I love the way she presented it.
Maryellen
Beautiful.
Jen @ Caved In
I love the children’s sermon message. What a great way to teach. My hubby and I were in the middle of our babymoon when we saw the news. I just sat and cried as I imagined the fear and anxiety that those affected must be feeling as they searched for their loved ones. I was only separated from Sullivan by a 4 hour drive and I knew he was safe and I missed him. Just trying to imagine not knowing if he or my husband were alive or dead for one minute was enough to make me sick to my stomach. I have already donated once but I am going to talk with mike and see how much more we can donate.
Maureen
Very well said. This is very personal yet selfless and I think lots of people will be able to relate. It’s hard to focus on others when so much is happening here at home, with our own economy and political difficulties. But we truly are fortunate to have grown up in a country with the opportunities that we have. What better time to show our appreciation by paying it forward to those in need?
Tammy
What a great children’s message for the “child” in all of us!
Maggie
Thank you for this. I’ve been feeling this way for the past week, even before the earthquake (some blogger friends and I banded together to raise money for a fellow blogger’s much needed surgery – http://www.operationlayla.org). It’s amazing what people can do when they recognize that they do have the ability to use their gifts and blessings to do more. Thanks for the reminder.
Angela
Such a beautiful, inspirational post Katie.
Kristin
We live in Japan because my husband serves in the Air Force and it’s just awful. We live on a tiny island south of mainland so we were not affected by this physically (except for the tsunami warnings) but man, it’s devastating to us all. All I can think of is how it could have been us. Everything could have been taken from me in an instant. I have definitely hugged my children a little tighter, told my family how much I love them and how much they mean to me. You just never know when your time on this Earth is up. Live in the moment and be grateful for it all. My friend posted something on FB the other day and it has stuck with me…
“One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it’s worth watching.”
PJ
I am so happy to see that you put International Medical Corps as a place to donate. I used to intern for them and think so highly of everything that they do.
Holli
This was a great post! It reminds me of my mom. She makes a new voicemail every week with some sort of inspirational quote she’s jotted down and at the end it always says, “be blessed and be a blessing!”
krista
You are so kind Katie. Thank you for the reminder. We are blessed and lucky that we can hopefully be a small blessing to someone else.
Casey
Beautiful post, Katie. I am glad UMCOR is on your list… they are a wonderful organization.
GirlyGreenGirl
I just want to say thank you for making that so easy. It’s sad, but sometimes, we need to be specifically asked to help. How can my small donation help…. knowing how many generous readers you have assures me that we will make a difference. Thanks again!
~ GGG
Courtney
You can also give to Samaritan’s Purse – which is a ministry of Franklin Graham – Billy Graham’s son. http://www.samaritanspurse.org
Lindsay (Young Married Mom)
I love the blanket image. That hits home.
Ashley @ A Recipe for Sanity
Amen to that. I’ll be giving to the red cross.
Deepa
This is a beautiful post and a wonderful message. It is so easy to get wrapped up in our own lives and too easy to forget how hard others have it. We went to India recently, and it is always a jolt of reality on how the “other half” lives. Thank you for reminding us, even if the pictures are hard to look at.
Leah @ JustPluckingDaisies
Beautiful, beautiful post. Such a lovely way to not belittle ourselves but still place ourselves in perspective. Thanks.
Liz M.
Thank you for this wonderful post and I thank you for being so honest and candid about the bout of depression you hit this past year. I, too, have dealt with struggles this past year and had a bout of depression (I still struggle on days). But I always find a bright spot in reading your blog. I always have to put things into perspective: I am fortunate to be in a profession where I can work for myself, I have a roof over my head, food on the table, beautiful family, and people who love me. There are so many who don’t have any of that. Thank you.
Angela DiGiovanni | Living Out Loud
Such an inspiring post. Today I watched the story of an older man who had been floating on the roof of his house for two days before being rescued by waving a red cloth that was seen from miles away. It’s the first time I cried over this whole mess. The small story of one man finally made it real for me.
DeAnna
Thank you so much for this post!!! I only have one friend in Japan, she is basically family, but thru her I know that the need for relief is real & huge! Grocery store shelves are bare, food is becoming scarce. A lot of places are without running water, power or heat. EVERY little bit counts! Thank you again!!
Life of a Doctor's Wife
What a wonderful, inspiring message from your church… and what a wonderful, inspiring lesson to share with us. Thank you.
melissa
dear katie,
way to take one for the team. although i have a very limited amount of money i always find a way to have a glass of wine every night. of course i can give money. i headed over to the red cross and made a donation.
you are truly a beautiful person.
love, melissa
Linda
Katie- I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time & I enjoy it very much. I just wanted to say thank you for your message about being a blessing. Thank you because I’ve been in a state of sadness & inward reflection at times (we all have)… thank you because I am a Mom and I am blessed and strive to be a blessing and I want to teach my children to be blessings.. and thank you because I am the CEO of Florida’s West Coast Region of the American Red Cross (I don’t cover Orlando- but just to the west of you) and I see the work that we’re doing and it happens because of people like you- people who care enough to encourage others to give. The Red Cross is fueled by contributions of people who care just like you. Thank you for being the blessing to us that allows us to be the blessing for others.