Parenting Books Review Week: Dr. Karp!
If BabyTalk Insider’s Guide to Your Baby’s First Year is more of a how-to book, then Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block is a distinct method of parenting. Dr. Karp’s book focuses mainly on one aspect of parenting. How to get your baby on a sleep schedule. There are so many different ideas out there on how to get your baby to sleep. Chris and I read through several of them before Bean was born, but this one just seemed to make sense to us. It seemed logical and practical and, more importantly, it seemed like something we could do.
Dr. Karp’s theory is that babies are born three months too soon. He believes that babies should be in the womb for one full year, not just nine months. But that because our bodies aren’t able to accommodate them for that long period of time because they just get too big, the key to success with a newborn is to simulate the womb for the first three months of their lives.
I know. Sounds ridiculous, right? I am reading what I’m writing here and thinking, “Katie, you sound like a total nut job.” But it actually does make sense when you think about it. For the first three months, babies are twitchy, unable to regulate their own body temperature, and look like little raisins. They don’t really become that healthy, content baby until they are about three months old.
(Except, of course, Gracie. Who will be picture perfect in every way when she is born.)
Dr. Karp’s method of getting babies to sleep is to use 5 different steps to soothe a crying, fussy baby so that they can calm down and, ultimately, sleep better. The steps he offers are simple, straight-forward, and applicable.
Step One: Swaddle – This book teaches you how and why to swaddle. And it’s brilliant and awesome and Bean loved it.
Step Two: Side Sleeping – We didn’t really use this one too often because I worried about SIDS and so I put Bean to sleep on his back, but Dr. Karp does insist that sleeping on their side is what feels natural to babies and helps them sleep better. We did often hold Bean on his side though when he was fussy like Dr. Karp suggested and Bean really did respond well to that.
Step Three: Shhhhh – Dr. Karp was the one who introduced us to the heartbeat sound to help soothe Bean. After reading his book, it was the reason I loved Mr. Bear so much. The idea is that babies are used to being in the womb and that it’s actually pretty loud in there. So, when they come out and are put into a silent, quiet nursery, they don’t find that comforting because it’s not what they are used to. Dr. Karp suggests getting a noise machine (or Mr. Bear…) who makes heartbeat or womb sounds. We used this with Bean for the first 4 or 5 months of his life and he slept so much better with it than on the nights we tried to go without the noise.
Step Four: Swinging – Just like babies are used to the sounds of the womb, they are also used to the movement of the womb. That’s why swinging is so important. It helps some babies (not all babies like swings) to feel more womb-like. Bean was addicted to his swing. If we swaddled him good, put Mr. Bear and his heartbeat noise next to him, and laid him in the swing, that kid would sleep for hours!
Step Five: Sucking – Dr. Karp is an advocate of pacifiers or anything to help your baby suck, which is a natural soothing instinct they have. For breastfeeding moms, this step might need to be skipped to avoid nipple confusion, but for Bean it did the trick.
Dr. Karp also has a whole section on how to wean your baby off of the sleep steps so that they don’t become dependent on them. We used his weaning steps successfully for everything except the swing (which we let Bean stay in for WAY too long…) and the binky, which we let him keep longer than Dr. Karp suggested.
The only other method Dr. Karp advocates that we didn’t use was co-sleeping. But if you intend to co-sleep, he has some really great ideas and methods for keeping it safe for everyone.
Out of everything we read, Dr. Karp just made sense to us. And Bean loved his methods. When we had him swaddled, in a swing, with the soothing heartbeat, and sucking on his binky, life was fantastic. And we could even adjust the routine to include or not include one or two of the steps and Bean seemed fine with that, too. For example, at night he got everything but the swing and he still slept fine.
Not all parenting/baby methods work for everyone, but this one might be worth trying. It was fool-proof in our house. And so you can try it out in your house, I’m giving away a copy of The Happiest Baby on the Block to a reader today!
To be entered to win, leave a comment telling me what kind of parenting methods you’ve either used successfully or are considering trying. I think all mom’s need good options, so share the wealth! The giveaway will close at 8:00PM EST on Thursday and a winner will be announced on Friday.
Good luck!
61 Comments
Katie
I’m not a parent yet, but we want to be. Most of what I know now is the parenting methods I won’t use (I could never handle Babywise). I do know that I think my mom did a pretty good job just being there for us and that I’d love to emulate what she did some day!
Ashley
I haven’t started investigating yet and I know each child is different but it seemed to work for the BeanMan so it’s a good place to start
Becky Wymer
Hi, Katie. I’m a first time mom to a 15month old. We became parents later than most (early 40’s), though not by choice, it took us 12 years to conceive. I don’t know what my parenting style is, I just know I want to do everything I can for my little girl to grow up happily. Sometimes She throws me a curve and I/we feel like I/we don’t know what the heck I’m doing! But she is such a good little girl and the joy of our life! I enjoy reading your blog, as you sound like you share alot of the same parenting views as we do.
Leah @ JustPluckingDaisies
I’m only 4 months pregnant, but I’m researching all these methods right now. I love the idea of swaddling. I also was recommended (by a friend) to an actual co-sleeper – a little bassinet style thing that hooks onto the side of your bed so you can be next to your baby without having the risk of it in the bed and without giving up your space! I think I like that… I read that babies are better off sleeping with the natural sounds of their parents’ movements.
Shannon
I’m not a mom – yet. We’ve been trying to have a child for almost 2 years now and I think that when it finally does happen, this will be THE book to get our child to sleep well!
Katie N.
I’m not a parent yet, but I do know that I plan to take a hard line on no co-sleeping. I used to be a nanny and I’ve seen so many families who ALL suffer (mom, dad, AND kids!) from lack of sleep due to rotating beds all night. Of course, easier said than done!
Jennifer
I’m a big fan of mothering by your gut instinct. If something doesn’t seem like it’s for you…don’t do it. If you think it’s worth a try…why not? There’s no right answer where raising a child is involved. Trial and error are your best friends. That being said, I’ve found that if you get your baby on a good sleeping routine then everything else becomes much easier.
Jessica
I have a 16 week old newborn and I mother with my gut and instinct. I may not always get it right, but so far its been working. I want to co-sleep with our little one, but nothing I’ve tried seems to work for us and so maybe Dr. Karp is the answer. I’m struggeling with know when to switch to solid foods and if we should use baby food or puree regular foods…oh the choices!
Amy VH
Katie,
I love this book. I also have enjoyed The Happiest Toddler on the block. My sister-in-law just had a baby last week and I would love to give her this book as a present.
Jeannine
I have heard great things about this book, and plan to give his method a try! I would LOVE to receive a copy of the book 🙂
Jennifer
My first baby is due in early May. I don’t have any idea what parenting method I plan to use! I have heard great things about The Happiest Baby on the Block, and I am glad to hear it worked for you and Bean! 🙂
Heather
The hubs and I are going to start trying for a little one this coming Summer, so I’m trying to start reading up on parenting methods. In my opinion, the more info the better! I am interested in co sleeping, but I also have concerns about SIDS. I would love to win this book! Thanks!
Melissa Wilburn
This book is the next on my list to buy (first baby due in August). And, I read your blog and have never posted, but thanks for all of the ideas and advice. You make this journey seem a little less scary 🙂
Laura
I don’t have any good advice, but the swing thing makes sense because babies love being rocked so much. I could really use a copy of this book- thanks!
Kari
This book is also on my must read list before our first baby arrives in early November. As far as parenting methods, I have no idea what I’ll be doing, but hopefully this book will provice me a with a good start in the sleep department!
Jenn
I, too, swear by swaddling but that’s only based on my experience as a nanny. My husband and I are trying to get pregnant and this book is on the top of my list.
Victoria S
My husband and I have talked about using the Ferber method once our baby is old enough. It’s nowhere near as harsh a method as most people told us it is, so we are glad we did our research.
Katy @ MonsterProof
Don’t really know what I’ll use yet, but from our ultrasounds, it looks like the little dude is already going to be a thumb-sucker and have the sucking thing down without any help from us. 😉
Erin
I am 30 weeks pregnant with our first. I have heard a lot about this book! Swaddling will definitely be used in our house!
Lori M.
I don’t have any kids yet, but that sounds like a pretty good method to me! My sister is expecting and would love this book!
Jen @ caved in
This book is AMAZING! The five s saved my sanity the first few weeks when Sullivan would flip out, especially the swaddling and the shhhing. We also had a cosleeper next to the bed for the first 8 weeks and that was great as our guy had reflux pretty bad. It helped me sleep better knowing that he was so close. We’ve been more or less following the baby whisperer’s EASY routine. It’s not a schedule, it’s a consistent eat, activity, sleep routine that can be adjusted for any age. It’s really helped Sullivan nap better because we have a consistent wind down routine before every nap. It’s not perfect, as nothing is, but with some adjustment, it has worked for us.
Jaime
Out son was in the NICU for 3 weeks and the nurses had him on an eat then sleep schedule every three hours. We had to keep it up for months so he would continue gaining weight… Nights were rough. We tried crying it out for sleep training and it was brutal. We Ferberized – working our way up in 5 minute increments… Still brutal. So we gave him back the pacifier …. Heaven!
Nicole
Since my baby isn’t born yet, I haven’t had the chance to try anything out. Reading through your review of this book and it’s strategy made a lot of sense though, and I am eager to read the full book.
Suzanne
I’m not a parent yet but plan to be one day. I like all of those methods, except for co-sleeping…I won’t be doing that…I’m afraid of squishing my child. Oh and something I did with all of my nieces and nephews when they were fussy, I’d swaddle them up real tight and then hold them really close to my neck and sing really softly to them…worked like a charm! And-Bonus! Nice bonding time! 🙂
lauren
Haven’t had my peanut yet so i have no clue what i’ll use. Right now i’m busy with books about my pregnancy so having some actual baby books might be a good idea!
Rebecca
**not entering the contest, just making a comment** I love sleep schedules! Babies are happier, mommies and daddies are happier, and life is GREAT when your kid SLEEPS!!!!!! We had a different method, but it was one that we were just winging…we didn’t read any books. I kinda figured that if she ate enough during the day she wouldn’t wake me up at night. And that, for the most part, worked! As soon as her little body was able to she was sleeping through the whole night..meaning 8 hours. So, I would just put her to bed 8 hours from when I wanted to wake up, which was 7 am. As she slept longer I moved up her bedtime so that she was always waking up at 7. For bedtime we did a routine and we did that routine every where that we went…no matter what. Bath, boob, bed. Sometimes that meant taking baths in sinks…good times! And we are strong believers in the “cry it out” method…which is heartbreaking. But bedtime and now naptime, is a breeze. Naptime was a whole different story…mostly because I didn’t care for the first few months what happened. Zoe liked to sleep on my chest, and she liked to sleep for 30 minute segments spread out through the day. So that’s what she did up until about 5 months when it just didn’t work for her anymore. Then we went to a consistent routine for naps…with the same wind down activities every time…book, boob, bed. That took a solid month of crying until she now sleeps perfectly…when she’s not sick (like she is now). Anyways…I started writing this comment to tell you that Zoe is breastfed and she has taken a pacifier from birth. I’ve given her a pacifier from birth, and a bottle from 2 weeks so that she will take whatever is available. I realize I sound like I have a clue what I’m doing…I don’t, not really…
Ashley L
One of the parenting methods I have used sucessfully is giving choices. We started to have issues with eating dinner, our 2 year old never wanted what we were offering her. We began giving her a few options of things we knew she liked every night. For a veggie, corn or peas. She got to choose what she wanted, while still eating the same kind of meal we were having, and it seemed to make her eat more! At least we don’t have temper tantrums at the table anymore.
Megan
I’m not a parent yet, but a good friend will be in a couple of months, so should I win I’ll give her the book (and then ask to borrow it when my time comes)! 🙂 The tactics Dr. Karp suggests sound very interesting – and I love hearing what you do with Bean, and what your readers do with their little ones!
KimberlyHMN
When I have kids, I am going to be trying co-sleeping, but I want it to be in the safest way possible for all involved. So this book would be great!!
Kelly P
When I have kids I plan to make little baby burritos all the time. I have heard the best thigns about swaddling!
Jill
Not totally sure about what my parenting method would be, but I like the idea that the kid is just a part of the family and the family shouldn’t revolve around the child too much. And definitely no co-sleeping for me!
Abby @ They Lend Me Their Hearts
I’ve noticed with every single baby I’ve ever cared for (including my own 3 babies) that they are happiest and sleep best if they are not kept up more than 2 hours at a time, sometimes less than 2 hours. When it’s that point between nap#3 and bedtime I can sometimes keep them up for 3 hours.
Becca
My tip is to get one of the side-to-side swings like Bean had, not one of the front-to-back swings. We made the mistake of getting the cheaper front-to-back models, and our little guy HATED it. Seriously hated it. As in, screamed bloody murder whenever we put him down in it. Not the best purchase, so I hope others can avoid the same mistake!
Suz McA
I’m not a parent yet, but I’ve heard great things about The Happiest Baby on the Block…. I’m all for baby burritos!
Allyson
I used the Babywise method. I love a schedule, and this book gave me a great framework. However, I would love someting a little more flexible this third time around.
Lindsay (Young Married Mom)
We loved The Happiest Baby on the Block. . . . but we kind of cheated and watched the 30-minute DVD instead (Netflix it!). Swaddling worked wonders for our little one!
Anna
I’m expecting my first baby (a boy!) in August and I’m loving your reviews! Several people have recomended The Happiest Baby on the Block.
janna beth
my son was perfect…..
we fed him, swaddled him, and he was out like a light!……now my nephew, caleb……he is the other end of the spectrum….my sister really needs this book, and it will go right to her if I win 🙂
Meghan
I’m 12 weeks pregnant with my first and would love any advice on sleeping I can get. Both my brother and I were “12 hour babies” according to my mom so I’m praying that is genetic and our baby will sleep 12 hours too!
Jenn
The 5 S’s are seriously awesome! like a magic switch. Of course it only works if baby not hungry or ill, but for the times when nothing else worked hubby or I would say “quick – lets Karp her” and it worked great! We also co-slept, and found it excellent too.
Jenn
To Heather #12 – another blog I read just put out a great post on this today – probably the best researched one I’ve read on the topic of co-sleeping and SIDs – if you want to take a read its here: http://www.phdinparenting.com/2009/01/11/co-sleeping-safety/
Britt
Unfortunately, I wasn’t aware of sleeping methods when I had my son, and I didn’t discover sleep training until he was 9 months old. We did some funny things to get rest though – we swaddled him, put him to sleep on his side between wedge pillows inside his bouncer (about the size of a car seat) and put the whole mess inside the crib. It was a hysterical sight, but it worked!
Jenna
I’m not a parent yet, but have heard great things about Happiest Baby on the Block. I think it would be a valuable resource!
Leigh
We dont have kids, but I’ve read multiple positive reviews about Happiest Baby on the Block. Definitely seems like a method to investigate.
Ashley @ According to Ashley
I’ve heard such great things about this book (and the DVD). I definitely think I’ll try swaddling when the time comes.
Heather
I use attachment parenting and that seems to work great with my son! It’s very similar to this type of parenting. 🙂 We also have that swing and my baby lived in it-he loved it!
Kate B
We have an extremely happy 10 month old babygirl. I read Babywise, and kind of modified it to fit our parenting style. We definitely did “cry it out”, but didn’t pop in the room as much as they suggest – it got her too worked up when she saw us. After a few nights of crying it out (we would leave her for 10 minutes tops), she was falling asleep peacefully from wide awake in her crib. Now, at 10 months, she has slept 12-14 hours straight every night, since 3 months old!
Hilary
I love Dr. Karp’s book! Swaddling is a MUST in my book. I swaddled both my kids until they were about five months old and it really helped them. I got the DVD out from the library as a refresher right before my son was born. I have recommended it to everyone!
Katie B
I’m not sure if we really had a parenting style. We just did what worked for us. We swaddled him. He had a pacifier for the first 20 months or so. And, truth be told, we let him cry a little bit to get him to go to sleep on his own (after about 6 months). I also didn’t move him to his own room until about 4 months. Most of my friends put their kids in their own rooms at like 5 weeks or so. I just couldn’t do it. Even 4 months was pushing it for me. I missed waking up, rolling over, and seeing my baby close by. I’d love to read what this book says before our next baby comes along. 🙂
Ashley
I am not married yet, but I hope to have a house full of children, so I would love to have this book!! I love reading up on things that will educate me for the future. I have never thought of a womb being noisy, but now that I think about it, he is totally right!!
Erin
We used the 5 S’s, but my son never took to the pacifier. One less thing to wean!
The Crazy One
I don’t have a little one yet but I heard lots of good things about Dr. Karp’s theories and intend to give this one a try someday.
Cameo
I am currently 31.5 weeks pregnant with our first and this book looks fantastic! I have been researching different books for weeks now and this one seems to be the best yet! It makes perfect sense to me about the womb and I did in fact get a sound machine with a heartbeat setting for my baby shower!!
Laura
I’m not a parent yet, but in my days as a nanny I liked the supernanny method the best. Clear boundaries and rules; and consistency!
Jessica D
We co-slept with our oldest when she was a baby and it was hard to get her to sleep in her own bed, so we didnt do that when we had our son. now we are having number 3, so we will see how it goes
Julie
Read this book and also check out his DVD for more understanding. Sometimes people take his SHHing out of context but it totally works. I have a giraffe that makes white noise and it helps calm my baby girl down even at 4 months when she is past the point of exhaustion and I try everything to get her to nap. Now, she can put herself to sleep at night with no sleep props.
Erin
You are not the first person to recommend this book to me. I am reading it right now and think it makes sense. Where did you get Mr. Bear again I want to get something like him for my Sprout.
Ciena Rivera
I am about to deliver any second now, I agree with the trust your gut comment, I never understood that advice until I was cornered with horror stories of newborns, birthing stories, and stillborn stories, God gave us an instict, people have been raising kids for milliions of years. I agree that we should listen to advice, but ultimately try and see what works for you..and your baby..
liz
Well, as a parent-to-be, I feel like I’m surrounded by great moms who all do sleeping & parenting methods differently. I am definitely interested in hearing more about Dr. Karp’s theories…
Heather Ben
This stuff totally works! They actually played a video of this guy demonstrating the 5 when we took a newborn care class at the hospital. The shhh. That was awesome on newborns. The trick is, you have to do it loud! Loud enough that your baby can hear it over their own crying. The doc makes a point of this and it it totally true.
Stephanie
I’m just hitting my 15th week and starting to think about all these things. I had no idea to start, so this book seem like it’ll be my starting place.