Dogs, Babies, and Patience
I’ve been asked a few times about how our dogs are adjusting to having another baby around and about how we introduced both Bean and Gracie to the dogs when we brought them home from the hospital. I figured it was about time the dogs got a little Internet Land attention, so I thought I’d answer those questions in more detail here.
With Bean, we introduced the dogs in three simple steps. First, we set up all our baby equipment a couple weeks before he was born. This gave the dogs time to get used to seeing the swing, the bouncer, the nursery furniture, etc. We thought this would help because when Bean finally arrived, the dogs would already by used to those things and they wouldn’t have to get used to a new baby AND all this new stuff in the house. It worked, too. For the first couple days, they sniffed everything as much as they could. They laid around in the nursery. They checked everything out.
The second step we took was to bring home something of Bean’s from the hospital before we brought him home. For a couple days, Chris brought one of Bean’s blankets home with him from the hospital when he let the dogs out at night. He let them sniff it and get used to his smell. That way, when they finally met him, at least his smell would be familiar.
The last step was when we actually brought Bean home. Just like when we introduced Bean to Gracie, we tried really hard to not tell the dogs, “no” while they were scoping him out. We let them sniff him and follow him around, but we didn’t necessarily go out of our way to put Bean where the dogs could see him. For example, we never sat him on the floor in those first few days so the dogs could see him. We just kept Bean and the dogs around each other, but not in each other’s way. This seemed to work pretty good. The dogs were curious, but kept a polite distance.
The one thing we were stern on was letting the dogs near his toys. Up until Bean came along, every stuffed animal or toy in our house belonged to the dogs. We had to teach them that not everything belonged to them now and we did that by being really strict and firm about what they could play with. They got a stern, “No!” when they even LOOKED at one of Bean’s toys for the first few weeks. Gradually, they just lost interest and learned to play with their own toys.
Bringing Gracie home was a really different experience. We didn’t go through any steps because, quite honestly, we just didn’t think about it. But the dogs took it in stride. They sniffed her that very first day she was here, but after that they were like, “Eh…it’s another baby…Big whoop…” They didn’t even bat an eye.
I think how and when you introduce your baby to your dogs depends a lot on your dogs. Our dog, Lucy, is a bit snippy. She is older and getting more and more ornery every day. With Lucy, we have taught and continue to teach Bean that he can’t really “play” with Lucy. In fact, just last night he was chasing her around the house and annoying the crap out of her. We kept telling him to leave her alone, but he kept at it. Finally, Lucy turned around and snipped at him. I know that sounds awful to let something like that happen as parents, but we have let that happen on occasion. It startles Bean and scares him, but it doesn’t hurt him, and it teaches him that Lucy doesn’t like being played with like that.
Yesterday, I came into the living room to find Lucy sitting in her bed with this flashcard of a dog house sitting on top of her. Apparently, Bean decided to label Lucy. She was none too pleased, but she dealt with it.
As for Big Molly? She’s like having a stuffed dog sometimes. That big lab has the patience of Job and I don’t think Bean could ever get in her face enough for her to even give him a dirty look. For Big Molly, we are teaching Bean how to be gentle. We focus on how to pet her and how to give her hugs, instead of how to climb, sit, and stand on her. The only time we step in with Big Molly and Bean is when he’s either getting carried away and becoming too rough with her or when we think she might just need a break. Other than that, we let them play as much as they want together. Or, rather, as much as Molly can stand.
A couple days ago, Bean decided that Big Molly should wear his Lightning McQueen slippers. Thankfully, Molly is so far patient, she just sat there for 15 minutes while Bean tried to get those huge slippers on her paws.
Our dogs have taken a back seat since our kids were born. We hate it, but it’s just the way it is now. But we do try to make sure that they are just as happy as the other members of our family. We may not be able to take them to the dog park as often and we may not let them on the furniture anymore, but we make sure they are getting loved on enough. And, luckily, Bean’s a big help with that. I’m sure Gracie will be, too.
12 Comments
Marie @ It's a Kind of Normal
I love this post Katie. It’s full of great advice. I grew up with dogs and couldn’t imagine a childhood without dogs in it, so I’m really glad that Bean and Gracie will get to experience that. Labradors (& golden retrievers) are just the best, sweetest, most child friendly dogs I could imagine. They really would let you do anything to them. I also think that it’s great that you allow Lucy to snip at Bean on occasion, it’ll help him to learn that there are limits with dogs (& people) and that he can’t always make something else do what he wants.
Alaina
Hey, maybe Bean thought Big Molly’s feet were cold?
Chloe
I think Bean was being generous trying to share his slippers 🙂
Jen at Cabin Fever
Oh my, the labeling and slippers are hilarious. And thank you so much for posting about how your introduced your dogs to Bean. We have two dogs of our own that we love dearly and are trying to plan how to introduce them to our little bundle when she arrives in a few months! Very helpful 🙂 Cabin Fever in Vermont
Joke
Thanks for this post Katie!
I found your blog because of a dogs + baby post that I loved, so I’m really happy you are featuring them 🙂
I think your dogs are very lucky to be living in your house 🙂
Lori @ I Can Grow People
I love that Bean put Lucy in the dog house!
Heather in ND
Labs are such great animals!! I can’t believe she was just letting him put those slippers on her. What a good girl! 🙂
jenniferc
my friend was a single mother pregnant with twins and she had one dog. The dog would sniff and listen to the growing belly. The babies were born early and she left the hospital before them. When her dog saw her for the first time she said he sniffed her belly and then gave her a questioning look. He was so good and protective to those babies once they came home too.
Alexandra
I think it is great that you are such a responsible pet owner. All too often, I have witnessed that when people have children, they often feel they need to get rid of their animals instead of working to help them feel comfortable with the new addition. I know it is never easy, but it is great that you guys still recognize them as family members and I’m sure Bean and Grace will love having them as they get older!
Kat @ Living Like the Kings
I’ve been dying to hear about this! I always feel so guilty that our dogs have taken a back seat because they were our babies but a baby is a real baby so wahtcha gonna do? I still take them for walks with me most days and we give them treats, but it’s just not the same.
Dessi
I love everything about this post!! It was funny, yet informative. We have a very similar dog situation here…a chia-pom and a lab. We spoil them like there’s no tomorrow! I hope they adjust well whenever we finally win the baby lottery! We have already discussed bringing home a blanket..such a great idea! Thanks Katie!
Rebecca
We have 2 dogs and 2 cats and they all took the backseat when Zoe came into the picture. For the most part it was natural for everybody, but now they’re wanting their positions back. My cat, in particular, that was very much my sidekick is having a hard time with the amount of attention she’s getting these days. One of our dogs is a Great Dane mix. He’s massive!!! Everyone {except Brad and I} said that he would be dangerous around Zoe…oh how wrong they were! That dog is my saving grace sometimes. When Zoe cries he does this army crawl thing where he sprawls out beside her, licks her in her face a few good times and then just lets her bang, pull and tug away. It’s kinda amazing to watch how patient he is with her….all of our animals have been wonderful to her, but Hemmingway is by far the best. However, some days I’m ready to give them ALL away because of the chaos!